Starlight
by AyaKayuro
Summary: A nice, stable life is really everything that Shian wants. Being a maid in the palace in the capital of the Kou Empire, she really couldn't hope for more - until her daily routine gets turned upside down by a certain someone way out of her league. Or so she thought... [Koumei x OC]
1. Chapter 1

It must have been hours since she started doing the dishes. There were a lot of dishes, admittedly, the higher ups held a banquet to celebrate…something, she wasn't even sure. Being the one to volunteer to take care of the leftover plates and cutlery after night fell, Shian was now alone in the kitchen since quite some time. The big room was dark and fairly cold, the wind coming through the open windows sending shivers down her spine. Empty counter tops lined the walls, usually offering enough room for multiple servants to prepare and arrange food but of course they all went to bed hours ago.

There was a lone candle spending her light as she scrubbed plate after plate and dipped knife after knife in the increasingly dirty dishwater. The flame lit up only her immediate surroundings and her eyes had grown tired, so she fell into a state of apathy after the chatter of her colleagues had died down around her.

After so many hours of monotone working, Shian found herself quite surprised when she reached besides her to grab the next cup to be dunked in water, only to feel the barren surface of the counter top. Her fingers rubbed against the wood, feeling the little indents countless knifes had left in it over time. Awakening from her drowsy state she looked around, only to find each piece of dishware clean and dripping wet in the rack where she had put them so the water could drip off. The drops had formed a little puddle under the rack which Shian hastily dabbed away with a towel, which she then positioned under the wet dishes. Welled wood was nothing unusual in the kitchen but there was really no reason to accelerate the process. It all would dry over night to be put away in the morning, so at least that was something she didn't have to worry about as well.

Shian yawned and stretched her sore back to loosen her stiff muscles. It really had been a long day and she felt the fatigue in every bone in her body. Brushing her black bangs behind her ear to see better, she took the little candle from the counter top. It had burned down quite a bit over time and the wax had formed a big clump right over the handle, now resembling something that looked like a solid white cloud. It reminded Shian of the ones you could see in the sky over Kou on the rare occasions the country wasn't coated with heavy grey rain clouds. Holding the candle in front of her to illuminate her way, she left the kitchen behind and stepped out into the empty hallway. The floorboards creaked beneath her feet, making her shudder because of the eerie sound. She hurried down the corridor, the rough floor soon changing to smooth carpet as she exited the kitchen area and entered the wing where the royals had their chambers.

Working in the palace sure has its perks, she thought to herself as she felt the soft fibers giving in beneath her feet. Sure, she had to walk through what felt like half the palace to get to the servants rooms, but she could name a small chamber her own. It had a rather comfy bed, a little drawer to store what little she possessed and even a little window looking out to a speck of nature. That window was something like a curse in disguise. How often had Shian sat by the windowsill and looked up at the night sky, losing herself in the vast wonders of space, only to be exhausted the next morning because she stayed up too late? She just forgot the time when trying to find constellations or admiring the Mare Tranquillitatis that was visible on the moon with the naked eye. Not tonight though, Shian had a feeling that she would fall asleep the second her head touched the pillow.

A loud voice ripped her out of her thoughts, startling her to the point of nearly dropping the candle. Someone was clearly upset, and her eyes darted around to find the source of the man swearing rather intently. Her eyes locked with the door on her left as she recognized it as the office door of the second prince of the Kou Empire. The purple ornaments snaking themselves over the dark wood seemed to come to life under her tired stare, making Shian hesitate. The thought of her nice comfy bed lingered compellingly a few seconds longer before she blew out the candle and set it down on a nearby drawer. Then she knocked quietly on the door.

"Yes!?" The answer sounded quite harsh coming from the usually calm prince but given what she had heard mere seconds ago, she really couldn't blame him. Shian opened the door a bit, scurrying in. Almost immediately she bowed in a polite greeting, but the picture that presented itself to her was already ingrained in her memory. Koumei's desk was overflowing with scrolls and documents, each one being filled to the brim with letters and numbers, in the prince's small but neat handwriting. The heaps of paper were seasoned with brushes and pens, strewn about and forgotten . But that was just the usual amount of chaos you would always find at Koumei's workplace. What wasn't usual though was the fact that desk and prince were drenched in black ink. The area directly in front of him drowned in the dark substance and even his face hadn't been spared, his skin looking even paler than usual in comparison.

Koumei sighed and wiped some of the stains off his face, blinking a few times so the liquid wouldn't drip in his eyes. He let his gaze wander over the small figure in front of him. He couldn't see a lot of her except her long black braid given that she still bowed before him. He might have seen her darting around the palace once or twice but it was hard to tell – the palace had just too many servants.

"What do you want?" Shian rose again, her gaze on the desk partially out of respect and partially because the sight was just so sad and funny at the same time. When she answered her voice was quiet, almost as if she expected to be scolded. "I was on the way to the servant quarters when I heard you curse. I figured something was wrong and wanted to know if I could help." Surprise showed itself on Koumei's face for a split second, that late at night the palace was usually sleeping. Well, except the guards of course and the ever working prince. "If you were to clean up a bit, that would be appreciated", he said before standing up and hurrying to the adjacent bathroom to rid himself of the ink. The door closed with a silent "thud", leaving behind the maid.

Shian lifted her head, standing there for a second a bit dumbfounded. She was used to being ordered around, being a maid and all, and she was used to being ordered around rudely. But his words sounded more like a polite request and so she hurried over to the desk. Close up the mess seemed even worse. The papers had already soaked up a lot of the spilled ink, rendering them seemingly useless and the ink had already begun to drip down the sides of the desk. It is quite a shame, Shian thought. Having seen the desk quite a few times while cleaning during the absence of the prince she came to like that particular piece of furniture. Its dark wood and golden inlays always gave it an aura of old dignity. Said dignity was a little bit tarnished by the unsightly spot in its middle though.

Shian didn't have any towels with her so she untied the white apron around her waist, using it to dab the pools of ink from the wood and the contents of the table. Having already seeped into it, it was quite difficult to remove the ink, but she did her best to clean away at least the most obvious stains, before spreading out the wet paper so it would dry more quickly. She scurried around the table, trying to get the stains out of the sides when she heard a harsh scrunching sound under her feet, like teeth gnashing against each other. The realization of what had happened settled in immediately. The pain set in a split second after, causing her to let out a small whimper as a sharp sting raced up her leg. Shian leaned against the table, taking a deep breath to calm her down. Her left hand curled around the edge of the desktop to support herself and she lifted her foot to inspect the damage. A curved shard of glass was wedged in the underside of her shoe, having penetrated right through the leather sole. A wave of nausea hit Shian, causing her to waver a bit before she found her balance again. The pain was tolerable but the mere sight of the foreign object really wasn't pleasant.

She reached out carefully, gripping the shard and pulling it out in a swift motion. Flinching from the sensation she let the piece fall to the ground, next to all the other scattered shards that adorned the carpet. She crouched down next to the remains of the ink bottle and started to pick them up, cautiously placing each part on her apron before gathering the edges and tying them together, forming an ink-stained bindle. The carpet seemed empty now except for the occasional ink stain, but she run her hand lightly through it again anyway, just to check if she had overlooked any stray particles.

Shian stood up again, focusing her weight on her right food as to not strain the wound and let her gaze wander through the room. It was surprisingly tidy given the mess on the desk, but Shian knew better – it was her doing that the room looked like that. Hers and that of the other maids responsible that is. They would put back the books Koumei left all over the place when he wasn't able to find that one fact again and air out the room. Shian had begun to like the daily ritual of tidying up the books just to find them everywhere the next day again – mainly because that meant she could stick her nose in them for a few seconds while she was alone. She snapped out of her thoughts when she caught a figure in the corner of her eye. Koumei had returned and was standing in the doorway, his face clean but his hands still stained, observing her. Flinching a bit in surprise she turned towards him. She didn't know if he had seen her mishap with the broken glass, so she just acted as if nothing happened and took a step away from the desk, allowing him to return. He sat down and took a look at the documents she had spread out on the table top, looking at each one carefully before putting them in two separate stacks. Shian assumed it was which papers he could salvage and which were totally lost – the pile for the latter being depressingly bigger than the other one. It must have been a lot of work that just went down the drain. Koumei sighed deeply and the sight of him sitting there like a drowned rat tugged at Shian's heartstrings. "Is there something else I could do, Sir?" She had asked without even thinking about it. Koumei looked up at her, visibly hesitating before giving her a short nod. "Some tea would be nice", he said, sounding a bit defeated. Shian allowed herself to smile a bit. "Of course, Sir. Chamomile?" She figured he could use something to soothe his nerves a bit. He nodded again and so Shian grabbed her apron bindle, securing the strings around her wrist so she wouldn't accidentally drop it. Then she bowed once more and left the room.

The door clicked faintly behind her, leaving her in the dim light of the night. She let out a short sigh. It was so late and she was so tired. What added to her conundrum was the fact that her foot hurt from pretending to walk normally and now she could feel her blood throbbing in her veins. But what had to be done had to be done, so she produced her matches out of her pocket and relit the candle. The flame illuminated the corridor once more, the shadows dancing on the pale red walls as she started to make her way back to the kitchen, candlestick in one hand, apron in the other.

Somehow, she felt sorry for the prince. Of course everybody in the palace knew that he always stayed up late, working himself to the bone doing paperwork, but actually seeing him like that was a different thing. He had reminded her of her mother, who always worked so hard despite having a poor physique. Before she could dwell on the thought too long though, Shian hastily pushed it aside. Comparing a potential heir to the throne of the Kou Empire to her deceased mother seemed quite disrespectful.

As she entered the kitchen again she focused her mind on the task at hand. She put down the candle on the counter top next to the backdoor and pushed it open with her now empty hand. The door swung open with a creaking sound, opening the view to the backyard. It was a little cobbled square with weeds growing through the cracks. At the other end of it, backed against a wall, was the dumpster and over Shian's head swayed the clotheslines softly in the wind. Usually the place was obstructed with freshly washed sheets and Shian couldn't help but smile as she remembered the many times she got caught in them trying to reach the other end. Now the lines were of course empty and so the wind could blow freely around her, causing a few strands of hair to escape her braid. She made her way through the small yard and emptied the contents of her apron into the trash. The wind freshened causing her to shudder and so Shian turned around and entered the kitchen again, pulling the door closed behind her. She shook out her apron, looking critically at the ink stains. She did have the means to at least brighten them, but getting the fabric totally clean again would be a task in and of itself. However right now she couldn't do a whole lot about the spots so she shrugged and tied the apron back around her waist, neatly covering the string with the red ribbon that was wrapped around her body.

Shoving the candle a bit closer to the cupboard she reached up and retrieved the copper kettle, the metal cold against her skin. She dunked the kettle in the freshwater barrel and finally set it down on the stove. Lighting it was always a hassle, especially in the dim candle light, but after struggling with the matches for a bit the coal had begun to glow. She sighed contently as the heat flowed through her body and she stayed for a bit before she closed the oven door and got up again. The cupboard was still open and she went over to it, grabbing a teapot and cup. Shian loved the teacups, they all had been painted skillfully with little cherry blossoms or tiny birds. Automatically she had picked a cup with birds on it, figuring that the prince would like the design. Putting down cup and pot next to the stove she reached for a tray and finally went to the pantry to look for the tea leaves. There was a whole shelf filled with crystalline jars full of dried herbs and flowers – whatever the royals of the palace might desire. Though they were all closed the unobtrusive smell off all the plants lingered in the room, causing Shian to take a deep breath before grabbing a jar near the bottom. With her loot she returned to the kitchen, filling the contents into a tea strainer and putting it down next to the tea set.

With a canvassing look to the kettle she confirmed that there was still some time left, so she dropped down next to the stove and took of her shoe to inspect the wound. It really wasn't that bad and it had already stopped bleeding, but given that she would have to walk around on it the whole time, it promised to be a rather painful experience. Her shoe was another dilemma, until she would be able to go to the market to get them professionally fixed it would take some time. On the other hand, she thought, it is a small hole. Maybe I can fix it by myself.

The shrill whistle of the kettle made Shian put her shoe back on and get up. She turned down the air supply of the stove to extinguish the flames and carefully poured the steaming water over the tea strainer and into the pot. The smell of the chamomile leaves grew stronger and a wave of nostalgia washed over Shian, the scent bringing back a lot of memories. Chamomile tea had been the go-to remedy in her family ever since she could remember. Tears dared to well up in her eyes but she shook her head vigorously in an attempt to keep out the negative thoughts. Putting on a determined facade she arranged the pot and the cup on the tray and added the candle so she didn't have to carry it separately. The tray in her hands, she made her way back to the office, her walk a combination of carefully swaying to avoid anything spilling and hurrying so the tea wouldn't get cold.

She pushed the door open with her shoulder and entered the room. Koumei sat at the desk how she left him, apparently copying what could be saved from the ink stained papers. He was scribbling swiftly, filling document after document anew, obviously aiming to make up for his lost work. He didn't look up but acknowledged her presence with a short nod. Shian set down the tray on a corner of the table and poured some of the steaming liquid into the cup. The steam curled up and mixed with the thin line of smoke coming from the candle, forming swirls over Koumei's head. "You may go now". His voice sounded like he was far away, back in his own world made of paper and ink. Shian made a little curtsy before grabbing the candle and leaving the room for good this time. She stumbled back to the servants' rooms and practically crashed onto her bed after stripping out of her clothes and donning her nightgown. The bedding was rough and a bit on the thin side but given how tired Shian was it felt like laying on a cloud. Within seconds she fell asleep, drifting off into a deep, dreamless slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

Her rest was disturbed by a loud thud on the door, causing her to wake with a start. Shian sat up hastily, fumbling with the blanket as she got up and hurried to the door. She opened it just a bit, she had no desire to be seen by everyone in her thin nightdress, but it was just Mai, who looked at her with a worried look in her green eyes. Mai was one of the other maids assigned to the same wing as Shian. She was something like a friend of her, always bouncing around and chattering with her. Being quite lively and outspoken, Mai formed a stark contrast to the ever-calm Shian, but the maid had come to appreciate the energetic brunette. "What are you doing!? Get up!" The urgency in her voice made Shian stumble for a second before opening the door entirely to let Mai in. She turned around and grabbed the little water jug next to the window to wash her face with it. Meanwhile Mai sat down on the bed, crossing her legs and tapping her fingers impatiently on her knee. She seemed rather upset. "You're usually the one waking me, and now I find you almost oversleeping with eye circles darker than the Magi's Rukh!" Her voice changed from showing concern to conveying accusation. "You stayed up late looking at the stars again, didn't you? I told you one day you wouldn't wake up on time and then you'd be in trouble! I just don't get what you see in watching the same sky over and over. It's just dots of light all over the place. Looks like someone spilled a bag of sand if you ask me." Shian couldn't help but smile a bit, listening to her fellow maid rambling on. Mai knew that Shian would always love the sky and Shian knew Mai would never understand it. They had had that kind of conversation quite a few times already. Although this time it was different. Shian had never overslept before and it wasn't the stars fault that she went to bed so late. Speaking of late, Shian hurried to put on her clothes before rinsing her apron out with water and a special solution to get rid of the most obvious stains. She didn't bother with telling Mai where they came from, nor corrected she her friend when it came to her reason to oversleep – Mai just needed an outlet for her seemingly endless energy.

Being dressed fully, Shian took Mai by the hand planning to drag her out into the hallway only to wince audibly when she put her whole weight on her foot. Mai looked at her, the concern creeping back on her face. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Ah, it's nothing. Come, we're going to be late." She suppressed the pain and stepped out of her chamber, pulling Mai with her. The two of them hurried to the kitchens. It was still early in the morning but soon the palace would awake and breakfast had to be ready for whenever the higher ups chose to eat.

Her usual duties preparing the food weren't all that bad. She had to stand at the counter top, endlessly slicing and cutting the fruits and vegetables the other maids brought so the chefs could continue to turn them into delicious meals. Not having to walk around, Shian could concentrate her weight on her uninjured foot and she wouldn't even notice something was wrong. The problems began when everything was done and she was tasked with bringing the plates on a tray to the respective people. The maids distributed who would go to who and after Shian was done bringing food to three of the princesses (whose rooms were of course on opposite ends of the wing) she just wanted to collapse on her bed and relieve her foot. For now only the second prince remained, who would usually eat in his office – probably so he could continue to work while he was eating. Shian gritted her teeth and got on her way, trying not to sound like a mortally wounded deer with every step she took. She didn't even made it to his door.

Someone had placed his hand on her shoulder causing Shian to flinch violently, holding on to her tray for dear life. Koumei, who apparently appeared in the corridor behind her, walked around her and took the tray from her hands. He looked even more stressed than usual and Shian assumes that after the events of the night he hadn't found any sleep. "I'll take it from here myself" he said, pausing for a bit before continuing to speak. "Come to my office after you're done with your kitchen duties." Being quite the over-thinker Shian's brain produced an array of worrisome scenarios on the spot. Did she do something wrong? Did he somehow learn of her habit to read in his books when he wasn't around? Or was it because of the faded ink stains on her apron which really weren't appropriate for a royal maid? Not letting her concerns shine through she just bowed her head and nodded. "Yes, My Lord." Koumei continued his way to his office, leaving Shian behind wondering what was to come.

She returned to the kitchen, joining the other servants in disposing the leftover food and cleaning the dishes. After the past night Shian really wasn't too fond of the latter anymore but she didn't complain. And even though the task dragged on and was frankly quite boring, it didn't last forever. Rather to Shian's dismay, because that meant having to face whatever Koumei had in store for her. It could be just a simple task, maybe just some scolding words because of the mentioned stains (although that was more a thing the head maid would do, but Shian pushed the thought aside). But she had been punished in her life for much less, so she couldn't help feeling nervous. She left Mai in charge of drying off the dishes and headed to her room. There was something she wanted to fetch before she faced the second prince.

Far too soon Shian found herself in front of the office door. Being granted access after knocking timidly on the door she stepped into the room, clutching the little bottle she brought with her. She made a curtsy and waited for instructions. "Come, I'm not- what is that?" Koumei had lifted his head, noticing the vial in her hands. His voice sounded mildly curious and not accusatory, which caused Shian to relax just a bit. "It's a solution of sodium sulfite," she stuttered, "it can dissolve ink stains. It's not perfect of course, but the ink will be way less visible." She gestured meekly to the barely visible spots on her apron. She had brought the solution in the hopes of propitiating him a bit. Koumei had raised an eyebrow. "Would that work on my papers too?" he asked, the hope in his voice unmistakably audible. Shian nodded hesitantly. "Yes, it would. But be careful not to soak the paper, and I'm afraid it would erase all of the ink. Not only the stains, but also what was already written before." Koumei hummed in agreement and reached out for the vial. "Thank you." Gathering her skirt she hurried closer to him, putting it into his hand. "Actually it is kind of fitting. I have something for you too." Shian couldn't help but lift her head in surprise. Something for her? The prince? Wait, she thought, something like a present or something like…a punishment? She didn't have more time to deepen the thoughts though because he had already reached in the drawer under his desk and produced a small clay jar that he put on the table in front of her. It seemed quite ordinary, the clay being its natural reddish colour and without any ornaments on it like she was used to from the kitchen. "I noticed you being in pain this morning. It's because you stepped into that shard yesterday night, isn't it?" Shian stared at the jar dumbfounded, not quite able to process what was happening, so she just nodded in agreement. Not getting a spoken answer Koumei continued: "So I asked the court physician for some balm or something, to ease your pain. After all, it was kind of my mistake that the fragments were there in the first place. He said you should put it on every evening before you go to sleep and it should help the healing process." A few seconds of silence followed in which the gears in Shian's brain shifted before it finally clicked. "Thank you!" she exclaimed enthusiastically, bowing her head so deeply that she almost hit her forehead against the edge of the table.

Koumei smiled at the sight, wondering why he didn't take notice of the shy maid before. Probably because his head was always stuck in some books or documents, he remembered, causing the smile to fade. He cleared his throat. "Well...that was all I had to say to you. I don't want to keep you from work any longer." Taking that as her order to leave, Shian took the jar, cupping it in her heads as if it were an injured bird. She bowed again, just for good measure and left the room both relieved and happy.

The rest of the day went by in a daze, being an amalgamation of preparing food, washing dishes and doing the laundry. Shian was of course still in pain, but the aspect of relief in the evening seemed to have dulled the sensation ever so slightly. After taking down the last sheets from the lines and putting them away neatly, the maids started to see themselves off, each of them heading to their chambers. Mai and Shian were among them, having settled down on Shian's bed next to each other.

"No way!" "Yes way. Where else would I have gotten the jar from?" After what had happened in the corridor with Koumei, Shian had been both so spurred and confused the whole day that while the two of them where scrubbing parsnip puree off of plates, Mai had coaxed her for so long that she told her what had happened in the night and in the morning. Now Mai had a certain sparkle in her eyes, the type of sparkle she got whenever someone in the palace talked about love. Or anything for that matter, Mai could twist even the slightest bit of interaction into a declaration of undying love. Shian could already feel it boiling in her. She sighed, not wanting to be rude to the only person she would call a friend but at the same time not wanting to end up in a spider web of palace gossip. "Mai…yes, he was being friendly. So what? Maybe he just didn't like feeling like he was indebted to me." Mai's grin got wider. "Come on, why would he feel indebted to you? It's your job to clean, you're a maid! Realistically he could have dragged any of us out of bed to clean the ink and it would have been normal, that's what we're here for." Yeah, but not everyone is as rude as some of the generals here, Shian thought, but she kept silent. Instead she took the jar from the drawer and applied a thin coat to her sole. The balm smelled fresh and like sage and instantly caused the throbbing in her foot to decrease a bit. "Do you think I should give it back to Prince Koumei or the physician after I don't need it anymore?" She turned her head to look at Mai, but the look in her eyes already spoke volumes. "Yeah yeah, I got it", Shian grumbled and closed the jar again.

It was fairly late already when Mai returned to her chambers, leaving Shian to stare into the dark. She laid flat on her back, arms crossed behind her neck, desperate for at least a few more hours of sleep than usual. But the sleep wouldn't come and so she grabbed Bert from her drawer. Bert was a tiny bird plush, barely the size of a tangerine. She had gotten him from a little girl that was begging on the streets. Digging out the last bit of change she had after spending what she had brought on the market, the girl was so thankful that Shian almost got embarrassed. Of course she didn't want to take the toy from the little one, but the girl was so insistent about it that she gave in in the end. Now the bird offered Shian comfort in the dark of the night.

She stroked the orange fluff of the plush and sighed. It was no use, restless as she was she could lay there forever without falling asleep. She stuffed Bert under her nightgown and got up. The balm had numbed the pain, so she slipped into her shoes, grabbed her blanket and went out. While wandering through the empty halls Shian wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, letting her eyes wander. It was always interesting to her how different the world looked once it was shrouded in darkness. She didn't take the candle with her this time and the onerous atmosphere made her nervous, but she hugged Bert tightly to her chest and pressed on. Passing the familiar west wing and the kitchen tract she stepped out onto the backyard. Lurking around the gardens and official places of the palaces as a servant wasn't the best idea, but the little backyard really was only a place for working, so it was fine for her to be there. The night was chilled and clear and the sky offered a fantastic view, every patch sparkling with what must be millions of stars. She found a flat spot on the ground and sat down, leaning her back against the cold wall. The blanket didn't offer her too much protection from the stones but the outlook made it worth it. The sight of the milky way so far above her always calmed her down and soon her breathing grew slow and steady. She sat there for what felt like an eternity, just losing herself in the universe.

The feeling of her chin hitting her chest caused her to jerk awake. Falling asleep outside and on the hard ground was probably a sure sign that it was time for her to head back to bed, so she gathered her blanket and Bert. Using the wall as support she got up and made her way back inside. Now properly tired, her feet found the way back to her chambers on their own but halfway there she hesitated. It took Shian a second to notice why – on her left was the familiar door leading into Koumei's office. She could see light flickering under the door, signalling her that he was – of course – still awake. Later she wasn't entirely sure anymore what caused her to look, but she blamed her weariness. No matter the reason, she stepped to the side and peeked through the small gap between door and doorframe. The room looked like it always did at night, tidy except for the desk and the occasional books strewn about and the prince at the desk. Nonetheless Shian had been wrong, the second prince most likely wasn't awake anymore at all. His head laid on his arms and she could see him breathing peacefully. She hesitated, but leaving him in there sleeping with multiple burning candles seemed…unwise. So she opened the door as quietly as she could and sneaked inside. Going around the room, Shian blew out one candle after the other until only the light of the moon and stars shone through the window behind the desk. The air was filled with the smoke of the extinguished flames but it would soon disperse. Shian turned around again and was halfway out the door when she glimpsed back at him and couldn't help but feel worried for some reason. It was early spring and the nights were still cold. And he already had such poor constitution due to him neglecting his own health. Shian looked down at the blanket in her hand. It was just an ordinary blanket, every servant in the palace had the same one. He wouldn't possibly know where it came from. On the other hand, wasn't it kind of disrespectful? Tucking in the second prince as if he were a child. But, Shian thought to herself with a sad smile, sometimes adults need as much care as children do, and so she stripped the blanket of her shoulders. She went back to him and wrapped the fabric gently around his shoulders, flinching a bit when he moved in response to the touch. But he only shifted a bit and went right back to sleep. Exhaling the breath she had held in Shian left the room for good, leaving Koumei to get some well-deserved rest.

The next days blurred into one another, Shian being absorbed into her daily work routine. She didn't see the prince anymore because she went back to cleaning his room when he was away, not wanting to disturb him anymore. The balm had helped a lot and the wound on her foot was nothing but a tiny scar. There was only one thing worth noting – or so she thought, not being entirely sure. The day after her nightly expedition into the prince's office when she came back in the evening, her blanket laid on her bed folded neatly into a rectangle. Now she wasn't certain if it really was her blanket, they all looked the same and maybe the head maid or Mai brought her a new one. But they would have said something, right? Asking her what happened to it and the head maid would have scolded her for sure if she found out. So a part of her suspected the prince, even though the rest of her thought it would be ridiculous. How could he have known it was hers? And even if he did, why would he give it back? He didn't have to care about a maid. Whatever the reason, the case of the mysteriously reappearing blanket had made Shian hesitant to meet with Koumei again. Which was a problem, given that she was still in possession of the jar he gave her and she figured it would be rude to keep it or return it to the court physician without at least telling Koumei she did indeed gave it back. That didn't leave her with a lot of choices and still her hesitation led to her procrastinating the task at hand. Her shift was already over and the other servants had went to bed half an hour ago when she finally gathered the courage to go.

Taking the little jar she headed into the kitchen, if she disturbed him while he worked she could at least also bring something useful. Something useful in that case meant that Shian fetched the kettle once more, brewing tea again. This time she chose a cup with a round little robin on it – for the sole reason that it reminded her of Bert who rested patiently in her pocket. As reinforcement so to speak. While the water heated up Shian began cutting up a few pieces of fruit and arranging them neatly on a plate. While Koumei mostly ate breakfast he leaned towards skipping dinner and today had been no exception. She just hoped he wouldn't think of her as rude, doing so without him asking. The teakettle whistled and Shian pushed her doubts aside. Armed with the packed tray and the clay jar she made her way to his office. Stopping before his door she faltered once more, the dark wood seeming to mock her with its intricate patterns. Nonetheless she knocked with the tip of her shoe.

"Come in." He sounded tired as always but also rather upbeat as if something good had happened. Shian opened the door with her elbow and entered, bowing way less than usual as to not spill the contents of the tray. She set it down on the corner of the table and smiled shyly. "I wanted to return the rest of the medicine I got from you, it really helped me. And-" her voice wavered before growing a bit quieter, "I figured maybe you would like something to eat, since you weren't attending dinner." Given that she had looked at the contents of the tray because she thought meeting his eyes would be impolite, Shian couldn't see Koumei's surprised expression turning to a softer smile. He took the container from the tray and stored it in his drawer again before reaching for an apple slice. "Thank you." Shian suppressed a relieved sigh and tilted her head respectfully. Then she wiped her hands quickly on her apron. They had become sweaty due to her overthinking so much. She turned around, letting her eyes wander over the documents on the table swiftly. She really just wanted to get a quick impression but something had caught her attention and she spoke without thinking. "There is a mistake"

Oh, she could bite her tongue, why did she say that!? Usually Shian was a master when it came to disguising her real thoughts and emotions, but the comment slipped out nonetheless.

Koumei frowned, leaning forward to catch a glimpse of the paper Shian was hinting at. "What do you mean?" His voice didn't sound exactly angry but he certainly didn't seem pleased by the remark. Flinching from the words directed at her Shian turned back to face him and bowed deeply. "Please forgive me, I spoke without thinking." Koumei objected: "You must have certainly thought something when pointing out a mistake I made. Now tell me."

She took a deep breath and straightened her back again. "There", she pointed at a document filled with numbers and formulas. "where you calculated the standard deviation of the expenses, it seems like you forgot to take the root of the variance." Her explanation left the prince stunned for a second – it was rather unusual for a maid to know such things. He cleared his throat and looked at the document again. "It appears you're right. But how did you recognize that!?" Shian took a cautious step back, tapping the tips of her forefingers against each other until she noticed the stereotypical nature of her action. "Before I started working here I learned a little bit about finances." That was of course an understatement but although Shian liked the prince for his respectful demeanour towards her, there really wasn't a reason to give a detailed explanation.

Koumei nodded before looking at her again. For a second he seemed embarrassed but it could have been her imagination. "What is your name?" "Shian, My Lord." He nodded again, before entangling his fingers in front of him and resting his chin on them. "Very well. Thank you Shian, you may go now."

She bowed one last time and disappeared into the hallway, closing the door silently. She hadn't even been noticing how fast her heart was beating but now in the quiet hallway she could hear her heartbeat roaring in her ears like war drums. She breathed in and out a few times, trying to relax her tense muscles. It's fine, she thought to herself, he admitted I was right. He thanked me! And he asked my name. I think that's a good sign! She slipped one hand into her pocket, curling her fingers around little Bert. It was time to head to her chamber and get some sleep, tomorrow would be as exhausting as every other day in the palace.


	3. Chapter 3

Shian had been wrong. The day was much more exhausting than usual.

Hadi – the head maid - woke her even earlier than what she was used to, pressing her to hurry up. She wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but behind the thin walls of her room she could hear the other servants hustling about, starting their day. Washing her face in front of the window, Shian looked at her translucent reflection in the water, unconsciously tracing the scar on her right temple. Together with her freckles it didn't exactly made her a beauty queen in her own eyes but thankfully Shian didn't care much for those kind of things. A slight breeze rippled the surface, distorting her reflection and bringing Shian back to reality. Hastily she put down the jug and dressed herself, her fingers then hurrying to her hair to put it in an easily manageable braid. She was barely fully dressed when her door swung open once again, this time revealing Mai who obviously had been rushing the same as Shian – her apron had come loose and she was in the middle of putting her unruly brown hair in a messy bun.

Shian chuckled, approaching her friend and fastening her apron around her waist again. "Do you have any idea what is going on here?" Mai shook her head, causing half her locks to escape the restriction of the hair tie again. "No clue, but Hadi ordered us to come into the servants' kitchen as soon as possible." She grabbed Shian by the hand and pulled her along, not waiting for an answer.

The servants' kitchen was just a room with a long wooden table in it next to the regular kitchens. It didn't even have a stove in it, all food was prepared in the main premises no matter who it was for. Still, the room was called the servants' kitchen and that's just how it was. It must have been an unusual sight, all of the maids and chefs flooding through the palace halls, eager to reach their destination without being scolded for being late. But it was still early and everyone did their best to keep quiet, so no one witnessed the unusual procession.

Shian had freed herself of Mai's grasp, gathering her skirt a bit as to not tangle herself in it in the hurry. Crossing the beaten threshold Shian sat down near the far end of the table, letting her gaze wonder while everyone else was shuffling about, searching for a good spot. The walls were lined with wooden baskets, each filled with the servant's uniforms – due to the huge amount of royal clothing that had to be washed every other day none of them were keen on doing even more and so their own laundry was often neglected. Mostly until one of the maids ran out and had to take it upon herself to cleanse the fabrics. A shelf adorned the empty space above the baskets, crude plates and cups piling up on the boards.

Hadi cleared her throat, having taken her place at the head of the table and thus attracting the attention of the quietly chattering attendants.

"Earlier this morning, the Emperor received an unexpected visitor. It is not our place to question who it is or for what reason they came here – our task is simply to make their stay an enjoyable one. Hou, Tian, Kara. You're responsible for their quarters, prepare the blue room in the west wing." The three addressed maids nodded, quickly getting up and making their way back deeper into the palace.

"The rest of you", and with that Hadi glared at her underlings, "will prepare everything for this evening."

A collective groan came from the servants, the last banquet had been only a couple of days ago, and preparing an elaborate meal always meant a lot of work, on top of everything they had to do anyway. Especially Shian remembered the countless plates she cleaned that evening far too well. On the other hand, she thought, if it hadn't been for the dishes I wouldn't have caught the attention of the second prince. "And why", whispered a tiny voice in the back of her head, "is that important to you?". Shian shook her head, earning her a confused look from Mai. She waved her hand dismissively and turned her attention back on the head maid.

"I don't want to hear any complaints from you!" Her expression softened a bit. "At least not when you're within earshot of anyone important. And now hurry, even though breakfast won't be as intricate as dinner there is still a lot to prepare." With that the liveliness returned to the room, the benches creaking and the servants starting to talk to each other again. Mai practically shoved Shian back into the main kitchen, grinning. "I know someone who is going to just love all of the dirty dishes this evening!" Shian snorted and shook her head. "This time someone else can do them, I had enough for at least three decades!"

She claimed her place at the countertop, taking a knife out of the drawer. While they of course always paid attention to the arrangement of the served food, this time they had to kick it up a notch. While Mai began washing fruits and vegetables, Shian halved peaches and apricots, carving intricate patterns into the soft flesh of the fruits and placing them neatly onto a white porcelain dish. The smell of the sweet juice mixed with the spicy scent of roasted fish and seasoned crêpes, causing an appetizing atmosphere. Shian swallowed and ignored her grumbling stomach – none of them had time to eat beforehand. This time, Shian wasn't tasked with serving the food and she gladly stayed in the kitchen. There was enough to be done here, even though she managed to assign the dishes to Nami, a bubbly redhead who barely managed to get the task done without flooding the kitchen floor. Shian swept the floor, allowing herself to quietly hum as she spun the broom around, banning the puffs of dust and vegetable shavings out into the backyard. The edible pieces would attract birds and even though they dirtied the stones and could become quite aggressive, Shian loved watching their feathers shimmer as they hobbled around the place.

After cleaning Shian took out the trash and managed to gulp down a few forkfuls of scrambled eggs before she hurried into the west wing. They cleaned the place every day of course, but one wouldn't believe how much dust could settle overnight. Armed with a rag and a bucket of water Shian began wiping every surface in each corridor, soon being joined by Mai who finished carrying trays around. They aired out the carpets and mopped the floors, chattering about palace gossip. Not that Shian cared about it, but Mai did and she was content just listening to her friend, occasionally nodding in agreement or letting out an exasperated gasp. Apparently the early visitor was a governor from the edge of the Empire, bringing news of enemy movements. That had prompted the Emperor to gather his generals as well as his eldest sons to discuss further movements. At that point Shian had raised her head in interest, but Mai had already continued to who gifted what hairpin to whom. It was late afternoon when the two of them had finished with the hallways and both were already tired. But there was no opportunity for a break, as Nami scurried past them, reminding them of the feast that had to be prepared for the evening. Shian sighed. "We probably should split up, they can use every hand in the kitchens, I'm afraid." Mai nodded, pondering briefly. "Would it be okay if I stay here? I'll take care of the rooms."

Stretching slightly Shian hummed in agreement and handed her the rag. "Take care. I'll return as soon as I can, but I have the suspicion that you'll be finished before I am." She grimaced at the thought of what laid ahead before pulling herself together again.

Leaving her fellow maid behind Shian hurried back to the kitchen, the strong smell of boiling stew greeting her as soon as she entered. All three chefs were baking and cooking busily, so it fell upon Shian to watch over the stew, stirring it and occasionally seasoning it – much to her enjoyment, because the simmering mixture tasted delicious. The maids were bustling around her, polishing plates and cutlery and freeing napkins of the last wrinkles. With all the buzzing activity Shian was quite grateful for her quiet spot at the stove. At one point she noticed Mai returning, a tall pile of dirty sheets on her arm, but they had no opportunity to speak.

After a few hours the bustle died down, Shian having to give up her little haven because the stew was being served.

The dinner had lasted until the late evening and now everyone was exhausted, hanging around the servants' kitchen, catching their breath for once. Near the sinks the dirty dishes piled up, reminding everyone that the work wasn't done yet, but for now a drowsy silence lingered over them, even affecting Hadi who had done an amazing job at organizing the whole ordeal. Shian had grouped together with Mai and Kara, who normally worked in the west wing as well. Today she had been freed from that usual task to take care of the visitors chambers.

"So, did you two manage without me?", Kara asked quietly as not to disturb the others. She was always concerned about things not going right, her worry showing in her dark eyes. Mai waved her hand and nodded confidently. "Shian and I had the corridors done before the commotion in the kitchen started and I took care of the royals' rooms after Shian left for-". Her voice died down, clear shock spreading on her face. "Oh crap", she murmured, causing Shian and Kara to look at her with scepsis in unison. Mai blushed under their glances, fiddling with the seam of her apron. "I miiight have forgotten to do Lord Koumei's office…" Kara sighed in desperation. "Oh great. Then we have to do that now and hope that he won't have us punished for not doing it on time!" "We can't just all vanish with the kitchen looking like that, though", Shian intervened.

Kara and Mai exchanged looks and nodded. Brushing her apron aside, Mai took her own set of matches out of her pockets and rattled three of them in the palm of her hand before breaking them into different lengths. She hid the split ends of the little sticks between her fingers and offered them to her two colleagues, who both drew a match out of her hand.

It was probably a broad hint by the universe, Shian thought as she looked at the short piece of wood in her hand. Apparently she would pay the prince another nightly visit.

Mai seemed delighted by Shian's fate and Kara was just indifferent. Shian herself fought with mixed feelings. On the one hand she was scared of her potential punishment for their dereliction but on the other hand…she felt excitement. Being in the office would allow her to catch another view of the prince's documents and even though she had to keep the books closed, she always liked being surrounded by so much knowledge.

She entered the little broom closet next to the servant's kitchen. It was nothing more than a bigger cabinet, but it held all the necessities. A big puff of dust engulfed Shian as she reached for a rug and she cursed the last user of said rug silently. Was it so difficult to rinse it out before putting it back? It's alright, she said to herself, it was a busy day, they probably just forgot. She turned to the open door and shook out the rug, spreading dust everywhere. That wasn't too bad, the maids cleaned the countertops every morning, simply for sanitary reasons. She shoved the rug under her apron and grabbed an empty bucket. The clean water in the barrels was way too valuable to be used to mop the floors, so Shian would have to make a detour to the well. She sighed quietly, her feet already complaining. She grabbed the mop and the empty bucket and headed out, both items in one hand so she would be able to carry the candle as well.

Around her the servants had started cleaning the kitchen and going through with a sudden brainwave she simply dunked the bucket into the washtub and filled it that way. One way less to go. So prepared Shian made her way to the office, carefully setting down bucket and candle. She wanted to scout the situation first, not just barging into the room fully equipped. Maybe the prince decided he didn't want the maid cleaning around him. Shian wouldn't blame him, it couldn't be pleasant to work like that with someone swirling around one all the time. She just hoped the prince would be alright with that and not send her away again. Getting a pay cut would be the least grave consequence if that were the case. Plucking up courage Shian lifted her hand and knocked on the door. A few seconds of silence followed in which she half suspected he had fallen asleep again, but then she could hear footsteps behind the door. "Who's there?" Koumei's voice sounded even more tired than usual, Shian suspected the day had been as exhausting for him as it had been for the servants, given all the meetings and formalities. "Shian, My Lord", she answered, trying to ban the nervousness from her voice. "It appears your room hasn't been cleaned today and I wanted to ask your permission to do it now." Silence filled her ears once more before the prince replied: "You may come in."

Exhaling in relief, Shian gathered her mop and bucket and opened the door. Koumei stood near the bathroom door, obviously just returning from taking a bath. His hair was still slightly wet and even though he was fully dressed the dripping water had caused the fabric of his kimono to stick to his upper body. Shian could feel the blood rush to her cheeks, so she bowed hastily so he wouldn't notice anything. "I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. It shouldn't have happened and I take full responsibility." It had been her after all who left Mai alone with the task of cleaning after she went to the kitchen. Koumei waved his hand dismissively. "I know you all had a packed day. As long as you keep quiet I don't mind you cleaning now."

His desk was as overflowing as ever and as he spoke he sat down, ordering his documents. Shian nodded and added a grateful "Thank you" before she set down the bucket and mop in a corner. She took out the rag, dunked it briefly into the water and started to wipe all surfaces except the desk. The rough fabric slid smoothly over the dark boards of the book shelfs and Shian could have sworn the closed books whispered to her tauntingly. She stuffed the rug back in her apron and proceeded to gather the strewn books on the floor to add them to their siblings on the shelf. One tome caught her attention, the cover was decorated beautifully with a painting of the night sky, the big dipper highlighted with thin white lines.

She stared at it longingly for a good few seconds – she had snooped around the prince's collection a few times while cleaning, but she had never seen this one. She hadn't even known that he was interested in stars. She snapped out of her admiration when she saw something move out of the corner of her eye.

Koumei had raised his head to look at her, probably curious because she had been standing there a few seconds immobile. Rushing to put the book back where it belonged Shian turned away from him, sure that her cheeks were stained with red once more. Both of them returned to their respective tasks but Shian moved away from the books – their temptation apparently too strong for her. Her next target was the grand couch next to the bathroom door. Of course Koumei had his own rooms with a proper bed just a few doors further down the corridor, but he rarely used them. The few times he actually moved to sleep somewhere comfortable it was this couch. Probably for time reasons, but Shian wasn't sure. For the same reason he had the bathroom right by his office. She slid the rug over the warm wood of the couch and arranged the pastel green pillows again so they didn't lay around messily.

For a moment she admired the intricate patterns on the green fabric and wondered who had picked them. Most likely not Koumei himself, Shian doubted that he had an eye for this kind of thing. Moving on from the couch she entered the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her to regain a bit of privacy. It was a small room, so cleaning it didn't take long at all, and sooner or later she stood in the office again. Now the only thing left to do was to mop the floor and so she placed the rug on the rim of the bucket and dunked the mop in water.

"You're not the only person in charge of the west wing, are you?" Him suddenly breaking the silence surprised Shian and she spilled some water due to her twitching a bit. She hurried to dab it off with the rug and then turned to face the prince. "No, My Lord. There are three people assigned to this area."

He nodded, apparently thinking about something. "So tell me, how come it was you who showed up?" It was the third time this evening that Shian's cheeks turned red, one half of her being embarrassed and one half feeling…hurt? Did he prefer someone else over her silent company? When she answered her voice trembled ever so slightly: "To be honest, we drew matches and I got the shortest one. If you preferred one of the other two to take care of your rooms I will notify them right away." She bowed her head in an attempt to hide how much she feared his answer. Koumei shook his head, seeming somewhat disappointed. "No, that was not what I meant. I was just wondering because you showed up unusually often since that night I spilled the ink. " "I'm afraid that was by chance, except for the time I returned the medicine, My Lord. "

The time she snuck into his office to extinguish the candles and tuck him in was better off being concealed. A smug smile crept on the princes lips. "Was that really the only time you entered my office intentionally?" Shian went from being slightly red to being dangerously pale within seconds. "There were multiple times to clean, b-but you weren't present then", she stuttered, her fingers digging into the handle of the mop as she spoke. He raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" Shian searched for the right words, clearly lying further would get her in even more trouble. But just as she was about to patch together an explanation Koumei shook his head. "It's alright, you don't need to answer. Please proceed."

And with that he went back to his documents, leaving Shian in a tense and confused silence. What had that been about, she wondered as she loosened her grip on the wood again. Not that is mattered, she still had to mop the floor and he hadn't send her away, so she began to wipe the wet mop along the parts of the floor that weren't covered with carpet. Making her way around the room she couldn't help but glance to the bookshelf again but she hastily concentrated back on cleaning.

The office wasn't that big and neither was the bathroom, so she finished relatively quickly. She rinsed the rug and the mop one last time, wringing out both of them thoroughly so they wouldn't drip on her way back. Tugging the rug back under her apron she bowed towards the prince, but before she could say her goodbyes he spoke up again. "Why do you always come to clean when I'm not here? I imagine it to be quite troublesome to bend your schedule around to fit the times I'm absent." Shian straightened her back again, the question confusing her a bit. "Because I wouldn't want to disturb you while you're working, My Lord." And because I like reading your books, she added silently. That was also the reason why most of the time she cleaned the second prince's chambers and not Kara or Mai.

Koumei seemed to be lost in thought for a second before he confirmed: "But it would be easier for you to do it whenever it fit you best, wouldn't it?" Shian nodded hesitantly, it would certainly give her more room to structure her day. "Then please, don't pay attention to me." Still confused, Shian curtsied. "That is very generous, My Lord. Thank you. I hope you'll have a pleasant night.".

And with that she grabbed bucket and mop and left the office, closing the door behind her. Why would he care what would be best for her? Especially if it inconvenienced him? Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe he did value her company. Shian laid one hand flat against her chest, her heart was fluttering like a little bird and a warm feeling spread through her body. Unconsciously she had begun to smile and she closed her eyes for a second.

Only for them to fly open a second later as Shian realized what was going on. She had begun to develop feelings for the prince. What kind of feelings she wasn't sure about yet, but they weren't exactly negative. And that wasn't good. She couldn't afford growing attached to someone so high above her rank, it would only end in heartbreak.

Grabbing the handle of the bucket harder she snatched the candle of the drawer where she had set it down and hurried back to the kitchen. The candle had almost burned down completely and she didn't want to walk through the palace in complete darkness. It was new moon so the sky was considerable darker than the last time she wandered the corridors at night without a light source. Back in the closet she spread out mop and rug for them to dry overnight and then went out into the yard to throw out the water. The breeze made her shudder and Shian hurried back inside, putting the bucket where it belonged and grabbing the candlestick. She gathered her skirt and jogged back to the servants' quarters, glad that the carpet muffled her footsteps – she didn't want to wake anyone important.

The candle went out right before she grabbed her door handle, leaving her blinded. Carefully Shian opened the door and felt her way about, plopping down on her bed after she found it in the darkness. Not wanting to get up again she struggled out of her clothes while laying down, before finally crawling under her blanket.

With a content sigh, Shian closed her eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

After waking up at the usual time and getting ready, Shian now sat next to Mai in the servant's kitchen. Because they didn't had the opportunity to have a regular meal yesterday, all of them were now eager to indulge in breakfast.

"So, why exactly do you want to do the office alone from now on?" It was difficult to make out what Mai was saying through all the scrambled eggs she apparently refused to swallow before speaking. Shian sighed, poking her fork in her omelette. It smelled nice, the scent coming from the rosemary and thyme in it, but Shian wasn't too hungry. She wasn't too sure why, but her stomach was somehow in knots.

"I told you, I like the books-" Mai rolled her eyes and interrupted her friend: "That argument would make sense if…you know, you'd be actually able to read the books. But you can't. Because he will be there". And with that, she finally swallowed her eggs. Absentmindedly shoving a forkful into her mouth, Shian pondered the question.

Mai was right of course, the book thing was just an excuse she made up – not for Mai though, but for herself. She could just as easily split the task with Mai and Kara, all three of them would benefit from not having to pay attention to the prince's working hours anymore. "It's just," she mumbled, "I've been doing it myself for so long, if we split it now again that would just create chaos. You've probably grown accustomed to your own schedules by now."

Yeah, that is a good reason, she thought, it has nothing to do with me. It's just more practical. She nodded to herself, confusing Mai who was still looking at her skeptically. "Yeeeaah, sure. Whatever you say."

Clearly not convinced Mai returned to her eggs. "Not that I care, if you do it all the time I won't have to worry about it anymore. Just like you said. " And with that the conversation was closed. Not that Shian minded, her mind was already going through the schedule for today. She could bring breakfast to Koumei and continue with cleaning right away. And when Mai was finished with the other rooms they could do the corridors together. Sounded like a plan.

Shian ate the rest of her omelette half-heartedly and put her plate in the dishpan, careful not to splash the cold water on herself. The dishes would be taken care of after breakfast, but for today that wasn't her job.

She returned to the kitchen and started slicing bread and putting it next to the stove so one of her colleagues could roast it a bit. One after another the others joined her, chattering quietly but working fast and not before long the trays had been prepared. Shian grabbed the silver one that contained the prince's breakfast, the cool metal feeling soothing against her hands – working in the kitchens always caused one to heat up to at least some degree.

Balancing her cargo carefully out the door she walked through the west wing to the room she had spent so unusual much time in the last days. She knocked with the tip of her shoe, not daring to free one hand from the tray. One second went by, then another and after thirty seconds Shian decided to knock once more. After she was still greeted only by silence she concluded that he was either still asleep or this was one of the rare occurrences where Koumei had slept in his actual rooms. Pondering how to act, Shian turned and made her way down the corridor, stopping in front of the thick door made of red wood that led to the prince's private chambers.

She knocked again and this time, she received a reaction. Behind the door something – someone – shuffled around and finally she could hear Koumei's voice, sounding incredibly sleepy.

"Ha, if that's you I don't care how late it is. Go bother someone else. " Shian blinked in surprise. He must still be really tired if he talked like that, not caring about any form of etiquette. She answered timidly, barely daring to raise her voice so he could hear her through the door. Those words hadn't been meant for her ears.

"It's me, Shian, My Lord. I brought breakfast but if you prefer to eat later I'll happily bring you something to your office at another time." She could hear him groan, clearly just realizing what was happening. "You may come in, I was just about to get up anyway."

Shian opened the door with her elbow and entered the room. The heavy curtains still occupied the windows and so the room was barely lit, causing Shian to blink a few times before her eyes accustomed themselves to the dominating twilight. She laid her eyes on the bed where the figure of the barely awakening prince proved his words wrong. He sat up, his hair even messier than usual and yawned. Shian couldn't help but smile, the view that presented itself to her was too cute not to. She bowed slightly, although she didn't think he paid any attention to her, he was too busy entangling himself from his blanket. "Just…put it on the desk."

And with that he shuffled over to the bathroom which also acted as a dressing room, leaving Shian alone. She chuckled quietly to herself and made her way through the room, her feet sinking into the fluffy carpet around the bed. She put the tray down on the drawer next to one of the windows – the desk was just too messy for anything to fit on there, just like its sibling in the office. Her eyes wandered through the dim room, making out the high bookshelves, the secretary and of course the king-sized bed. Well, more like prince-sized, she thought, grinning because of her own stupid joke. The air was slightly fuggy and with a quick glance to the dressing room she went to the window, pulling aside the curtains and opening the dark green shutters. She breathed in the fresh air and moved to the other side of the bed to do the same with the other window. The room seemed more lively instantly and while she was at it, Shian fluffed the blanket and the pillows, careful not to let any dust settle on the prince's breakfast. She was just about to clean the secretary a bit when Koumei returned, fully dressed and his hair ever so slightly tidier.

He blinked, obviously not expecting this avalanche of light in his room. He let his gaze wander briefly bevor he laid his eyes back on Shian, who stood there dressed up and with nowhere to go. Although he didn't comment on her doing, he seemed pleased and moved over to the drawer to grab the tray. "Would you go and grab me the book on my desk from the office? I'd like to read while eating." Shian curtsied and hurried out the room. She was a bit disappointed – that he would eat in his room meant she could clean the office without him being there. "That means you can read again!", whispered the voice in the back of her mind but strangely enough it was much quieter than usual.

She entered the office, finding it in almost the same state as she left it in the evening, meaning that he probably went to bed right after her visit. A rare occurrence, but not too weird after the events of the past day. The book laid right in the middle of the desk and for a second she huffed in envy. It was the book that caught her attention yesterday, the one with the big dipper on the front cover. Maybe she could just read a few pages…? No, she scolded herself, he is waiting for you. Resolutely, she grabbed the book and made her way back to the prince. He had sat down on the chair in front of the desk and simply shoved a good portion of his scrolls out of the way. They laid curled up on the ground and Shian sighed soundlessly at the thought of rerolling them all later.

She approached him and set the book down next to the tray, bending her head slightly. "Thank you. I've noticed you looking at it yesterday, are you interested in the science of space?" The question caught her off guard, causing her to stutter her answer a bit. Why would the prince try and make small talk with her? "Yes, My Lord." He continued to look at her expectantly so she figured her short remark didn't satisfy him. "I like watching the night sky. I told you that I learned one or two things about financials, right? I also had the possibility to read a bit about space and it caught my attention. I really like reading and learning."

Noticing how she had blabbered on Shian blushed and lowered her head in embarrassment. Koumei smiled in return, his hand stroking over the binding of the book. "What else did you learn?" He grabbed the bowl with the fruit pieces and turned on the chair to get a better look at her. Automatically, she took a cautious step back, not wanting to stand too close to him and shifting a bit, feeling quite awkward. He seemed to notice her obvious discomfort and pointed invitingly to his bed.

Disbelief spread across Shian's face, not sure whether she interpreted his gesture correctly. Slowly she moved over, sitting down on the white sheets, careful as if she sat down on a layer of glass shards. The fine fabric felt so different than her own bedding, she couldn't help but feel the material between her fingers. She had washed it often, but she enjoyed the sensation every time anew. Realizing where she was again she looked back at Koumei, who nodded like that had been the right decision. "So?"

It took her a second to remember the question he had posed to her. "Oh, I…learned this and that.", she answered evasively. "Stuff about space, math…", she struggled to come up with something that was neither a lie nor suspicious. "I can play the zither…"

Her mother had indeed insisted that she learned an instrument but had let her pick what she wanted. One look at him told her that he was curious nonetheless. Thoughtfully, he chewed on a peach slice before continuing to speak. "You wouldn't have learned that if you weren't raised in a wealthy family. Where are you from?"

The question was to be expected, but it still hit her like a bucket of cold water. "I…I am…" The words didn't want to come. "Lord Kouha picked me off of the streets.", she finally managed to get out. Koumei raised an eyebrow. His brother took in the misfits, the outcasts, the people with nowhere else to be. That certainly didn't fit in with his idea of her coming from a family of higher ups. But he did notice how she shied away from him, as if physically trying to avoid his questions. He hadn't mean to make her upset and now Koumei found himself rather helpless, not being equipped to deal with a person in distress. In an meagre attempt to calm her down, he offered her his fruit bowl. He wasn't sure if it worked, but at least now she seemed too surprised to be upset anymore. Timidly she grabbed an apricot half and nibbled on it.

"Thank you.", Shian said after a few seconds, getting a nod from the prince. "I apologize for upsetting you, that was not my intention." Lifting her head in surprise, Shian's expression lit up. "Oh, not at all. Most people wouldn't be half as considerate as you-" She had noticed mid sentence how informal she spoke to the prince and now she hastily lowered her head again in shame. "My apologies, I spoke too unrestricted."

Koumei sighed a bit. Of course, the servants were all respectful in front of the royals – especially his older brother – but the shy maid took it to another level. "It's okay", he said simply, watching as her tense shoulders relaxed a little. "I occupied you enough, didn't I? Here, you can take the tray with you again, I'll move to my office right away." Shian just nodded, finished her apricot and took the tray from the table. It seemed like she would have the prince's company while cleaning after all, but all of the sudden she wasn't so keen on it anymore. She was scared he would ask questions again, and there was no way she could just lie to him. Still, her past was something she kept private and she preferred to keep it like that. Her voice barely more than a whisper she asked: "I planned on cleaning your office now, would that be alright?" "Sure" Koumei got up and grabbed his book, before shuffling through the sea of scrolls around him. One hand on the door handle he turned around to her once more. "Would you li-" He stopped himself and shook his head lightly. "Never mind." And with that, Koumei went out the door.

Shian stood next to the desk, tray still in hand and stared at the closed door as if it were a portal to another dimension. What was that all about? What did he want to ask her? The curiosity made Shian wobble on the spot, but she would never ask of course – that would be just plain rude. Remembering her duty she hurried to the door, pressing it open with her elbow once again. She would tackle the prince's private chambers after the office was done, assumed Mai didn't do it until then. Grabbing the tray harder she went back to the kitchen and snatched a stray cloth from the clotheshorse in the corner. She deposited her dirty dishes in the tub and proceeded to clean the tray with the rag until it shined in the dim light again. For a moment she allowed herself to submerge herself in the sounds surrounding her – the chinking of the dishes being cleaned, the shuffle of feet on the ground and the occasional whip of a towel being shook out, everything underlaid with the mumble of the fellow servants. That was her life. It had been her life for the past three years and it was a secure one, she told herself. The thought calmed her down and she resurfaced into reality.

Shian put the tray away and wiped her hands on her apron. It was time to get her thoughts together for good. No princes, no informalities and no…feelings. Shian couldn't risk losing what she had now. She just hoped her resolution wouldn't wager under the gaze of the prince's eyes.

The sound her knuckles made on the tiny purple patterns sounded too familiar by now, Shian noted, as her fist made contact with the wooden door again. It was a wonder that Mai hadn't started any gossip yet, given how much time she spent with the prince in his chambers alone by now. Her friend probably just wanted to be considerate. At least that's what she hoped – rumors about a maid and a prince in love rarely ended well for the servant part in the equation. "Come in"

The sound of Koumei's voice brought her back and Shian hurried inside the office where she curtsied quietly before she started cleaning. Given that she tidied the place yesterday night there wasn't too much to do – but in the few minutes Shian needed to put back the tray and return to the office, the prince had managed to produce an impressive mess. He had put the piles of processed documents on the floor to make room for the new ones, and so the stacks of paper had formed what looked like a city of white towers all around the desk. There is even a moat, Shian thought with a little smile as a scroll soared from the table and curled around the papery town. "What is so funny?", Koumei asked, a hint of alienation in his voice and Shian realized that she had been standing there for a couple of seconds, just smiling in the general direction of her superior.

She probably looked like a startled owl now, panic creeping through her body that she had insulted him. "I- I was just looking at the town-" she stuttered, inwardly rolling her eyes at her stupid behaviour. "The town. I see." He clearly thought she was either making fun of him or crazy, both options Shian didn't fancy too much. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "I just thought that the paper stacks look like a city, that's why I was smiling. Please forgive me."

She bowed slightly, hoping her explanation would satisfy him. There was a moment of silence before Shian heard him chuckle quietly to himself. "You're right. It does look a little bit like that. And the scroll looks like a ditch." "Right!?" With a new wave of excitement Shian rose again "I thought so too!"

The two of them grinned at each other for a second before realizing that a bunch of paper stacks really wasn't that funny and that there was some kind of boundary crossing happening that definitely should not be happening. Koumei cleared his throat and lowered his gaze back on his document, while Shian fumbled with the rag she had stuffed under her apron. How embarrassing.

Getting the rag out had been kind of unnecessary as she noted soon, the room was still pretty much spotless and so she just fluffed the pillows on the couch anew and opened the windows to let in some fresh air. The documents were a whole new problem. Shian felt it would be careless of her to just leave them laying around but she had no idea what to do with them – just looking at them would probably be some kind of felony. Letting her view wander around the room in search of something else to do, Shian decided on the most obvious option. "My Lord?" "Yeah?" The short answer was all Koumei did to let her know he heard her, so Shian figured she was disturbing him. "Please excuse me, but what should I do with the finished documents?" Finally he raised his head, first looking at the mess to his feet and then at her. "Do you have some spare time?"

No. No, I don't have spare time, she thought a bit insulted, feeling as if he was accusing her of slacking off. But there was also some suppressed hope in his voice and Shian remembered all the sleepless nights the prince endured to keep the Empire up and running. Also – if he would just order her to do something, there was not much Shian could do no matter if she had time or not, and so she just bent her head slightly in agreement. "Then be so kind and bring these, " he pointed at a large pile of papers and files, "to my brother. He should be in a meeting and will need them." Shian could feel the blood drain from her cheeks and she blinked a few times in shock.

Now, saying that the first prince of the Kou Empire was unkind or even unfair would just be untrue, but he was stern and intimidating and even when he wasn't busy it was not a smart thing to disturb him. Barging in on him having a meeting seemed like a sure way to get fired, at least to Shian, who as a servant was of course much more vulnerable than Kouen's siblings. She swallowed hard, trying to calm herself down. At least the Emperor himself won't be present, she thought to herself and refocused on Koumei, who still looked at her expectantly. "Are you sure I will be allowed inside, My Lord? It seems inappropriate to me." Her concerns were dismissed with a wave of his hand and a short nod.

"Don't worry, it will be fine. I'm the one sending you and you're carrying important information. No one will mind." His carefree attitude didn't do much to reassure Shian, but she didn't really have a choice, so she bent down and picked up the heavy stack. For a moment she swayed under the weight before she regained her balance and made her way to the door. Before exiting she turned around once more, her cheeks stained red because she forgot to ask the obvious. "Where is the meeting, My Lord?"

He had laughed at her. That was at least how it had felt like to Shian after her question. In reality he had simply smiled at her and explained the way but to her ever overthinking mind it had seemed like she had entangled herself even deeper in the web made of embarrassment and shame. Now she was on her way to the meeting room, her cargo carefully balanced in front of her and her view fixed on the empty corridor in front of her as to not crash into anything. The wing she had entered seemed alien to her as it was uncommon for servants to walk areas they were not assigned to. Shian knew the servants' quarters, the kitchens, the exterior and the west wing – the rest of the palace had always been kind of off limits to her.

"I'm so going to get lost", she whispered to herself and looked around once more. She had walked past the throne room and entered a corridor without any windows - which made it all the creepier, with its high ceiling and the dark paneling. Still, it seemed as if she was on the correct path as she recognized the carved dragon on a heavy door next to her, just the way Koumei described it to her. The next one would be her destination. Shian stepped in front of the door next to the dragon one, it was rather plain and made from the same dark wood as the wall cladding. She couldn't hear anything behind it but that was to be expected – having a meeting room where everyone could eavesdrop would be a nuisance after all. The veins of the wood caught her eyes and for a moment Shian found herself lost in all the thin lines stretching themselves over the door.

Shaking her head, Shian called herself out – she knew that she was just stalling for time. She took a deep breath and balanced her load on her left arm so she could knock. And knock she did, quietly and with bated breath.

"What!?"

The answer was sudden and harsh, making Shian flinch although she hadn't even stepped into the room yet. Timidly she opened the door and entered, her gaze lowered. But although she didn't dare to look at the first prince directly, her eyes took in the whole room eagerly, her interest in everything and anything peaking up again. The heart of the rather long and narrow chamber was a heavy desk, equally long and narrow as its surroundings - it was clearly designed for one speaker and multiple listeners. On the other end of the room a small window let a bit of light into the room. Shian couldn't help but notice that the layout of the room was rather impractical, the window directly behind the speaker didn't do much to offer a good view on whoever was talking. Not that Shian needed a lot of light to know who had called her in.

Kouen stood at the head of the long table, one hand resting on what seemed like a map of the Kou Empire. It was not the only one, the whole table was littered with different maps and documents, each covered in colored lines and diagrams. His broad figure covered almost all of the window so his face was shrouded in darkness, and none of the multiple candles on the desk could change that. Accompanying the prince were an array of middle-aged man, all sitting to the sides of the table like a bunch of school children. Even though they all seemed to be much older than Kouen, his commanding aura held them all at bay. They must be high ranking officers and generals from what Shian could see on the documents on the table – different flags marked different garrisons all over the country.

Kouen looked at the scared maid and lowered his voice a bit. "What do you want? This is not the time for you to be here." His voice had lost its edge but it was still clear that her intrusion was not to his liking. "Y-your brother sends me, Your highness." Shian hurried to curtsy, but the documents she was still carrying made it difficult for her to keep her balance – and the last thing she wanted to do was fall in this room with the prince and higher ups staring at her. Because of that her curtsy wasn't as deep as she would have liked, but the way she bowed seemed to be her smallest problem. "With those documents, I assume", Kouen said, clearly thinking that she was a bit on the slow side. "And what exactly are they?"

Shian flushed bright red, she certainly did not expect to be asked about the contents of surely highly classified documents. Which grew heavier by the minute in her arms, by the way. "I don't know, Your Highness. Please forgive my lack of knowledge." "

Of course you don't", he muttered. With a quick gesture he instructed the man closest to Shian to take the papers from her, which he did without a word. She could feel her arms relaxing and suppressed a relieved sigh. He was old, or at least Shian assumed he was – his hair was grey and thin and the weight of the papers seemed to bother him even more than it did Shian. Although it was something of a sad sight, she would have never dared to say anything so she just watch the man struggle as he placed the documents on the table and started to distribute them. A sharp movement from the prince reminded Shian of her situation. Bowing deeply to make up for her lacking greeting she spoke up again: "Is there anything else I could do?" She didn't receive a proper answer but instead a quiet huff and a dismissing wave. That was more than enough for her and Shian practically fled the meeting room before he could change his mind.

She had made it. Finally.


	5. Chapter 5

Shian closed the door behind her silently. She was glad to get out again, the atmosphere inside the meeting room had not been a pleasant one. Honestly, the intimidating figure of the first prince and all the silently staring generals seemed to come right out of a nightmare. Shian shook her head, trying to silence her thoughts. It had been an experience - one she wasn't too eager to repeat. She really didn't see Kouen that often, although his quarters were in the west wing just like the ones of his brothers.

But she was the one who almost always cleaned Koumei's rooms, so Kara and Mai split the other two princes' chambers among themselves. Because of that, the only times Shian really saw Kouen or Kouha was when they passed her in the hallway and that was always her clue to bow silently and wait for them to pass. The royals mostly ignored the many servants around them. Emphasis on mostly, the voice in her head whispered. She pressed the palm of her hand against her temple, trying to keep out the thoughts. It was time for her to head back.

On her way to the kitchen she let the morning go by her again. It was almost noon and the only thing she really got done was Koumei's office and it was not like that had been a lot of work. She felt a wave of guilt hit her, all the other ones were probably hard at work and she was running through the palace, having small talk and playing delivery girl. At that thought she unconsciously raised her tempo, breezing past the kitchen tract and nearly missing Mai who had crouched down in the corridor to scrub the floor. Judging by the slight wetness behind her, Mai had gotten a lot done in the time she was gone. The two maids just exchanged a quick smile, both way too busy to actually stay and chat.

While hurrying deeper into the west wing Shian started to make a mental schedule to calm down her whirling thoughts. She would just hurry with cleaning Koumei's private chambers and then she could join Mai in her work. She assumed Kara was out airing the carpets so Mai could use every helping hand.

Deep in her planning, Shian opened the door leading to the prince's bedroom, raising her eyes from the floor – just a second too late. With a muffled thud, she ran against something that suspiciously felt like the chest of a person. And while not exactly tall, the figure she ran against could impossibly be one of her fellow maids. Unfortunately.

Squeaking in shock she jumped back and looked up at Koumei who seemed just as surprised as she was, his hand still outstretched to grab a door handle that wasn't there anymore. One could almost hear the gears in Shian's brain shifting until they rattled to a conclusion. She had opened the private chambers of the prince. Without knocking. While he was in there. And she ran into him.

She dropped to her knees almost instantly, the pain from the now barren wooden boards against her shins muted by the fear that flooded her mind. As she hurried to bow down, her forehead touched the floor with a rather unpleasant sound, but she didn't hear it. She couldn't hear anything except the blood rushing in her ears. "I'm…I'm so sorry."

Her voice was nothing more than a hushed whisper and although she struggled to sound neutral, Koumei could still hear the panic behind her words. Not that it was difficult to guess given her body language.

Today had been too much for Shian. She lived in constant fear of punishment – partly because of her past and partly because not every inhabitant of the palace was as forgiving as the second prince. But no matter how nice he seemed, Shian was sure to have overstepped her boundaries this time. And together with everything else that happened, the encounter this morning, the lack of accomplished work and the scene in the meeting room, her mind snapped.

A shiver went through her body as her muscles braced and she seemed to recoil into herself as the panic hit her like an ice-cold wave. Memories flooded her mind as she imagined what would happen to her, what she would do if she were to get kicked out of the palace, if she landed back on the street. No, no, she couldn't do that again, not this time, she just-. She gasped for air, her chest getting tighter with every second as the walls seemed to come closer and closer.

Koumei had watched the change happen with some sort of horrified interest. Of course, the maid was always shy and seemed cautious with whatever she did, but this time it was different. As soon as she knelt before him he could see how she locked up and now that she was trembling uncontrolled before him, no one would have missed that something was wrong. He actually didn't mind that much that she ran into him. A stern rebuke would have been appropriate if he really wanted to, but not whatever it was she was imagining right now. Helplessly looking left and right he noticed that the two of them were alone and so he sat down before her, carefully placing a hand on her shoulder blade. It was supposed to be a reassuring gesture but Shian flinched upon the touch so hard her forehead bumped against the floor once more. "I'm not going to hurt you."

It seemed to Koumei that this might be her biggest concern, as there were still higher ups in the palace who thought it would be a good idea to hit servants who made some kind of mistake. Or just whenever, it didn't matter to them. Koumei despised those kinds of people.

His words didn't seem to reach her and he was just about to tell her again, when she raised her head slowly, looking at him from behind a veil of tears. They looked at each other for a few silent seconds before she lowered her head again. "Please…please don't send me away."

He could barely understand her, her voice being quiet and thin, distorted by her ragged breathing. Also, what she was saying didn't seem to make a lot of sense. "I'll take any punishment-", at this her voice wagered even more, "but please don't send me away."

This time, he understood her better. Shaking his head in disbelief he let out a short sigh. What had happened to this girl that she was more afraid of leaving than of physical pain?

Koumei bent down a little and placed his fingers under her chin. Gently lifting her head the two of them looked each other in the eyes once more. She blinked a few times to get rid of the tears that were running down her cheeks, her breath still unsteady and broken. He talked slow and assertively: "I'm not going to send you away. That you just barged in like that was reckless and you should pay attention to not do it again. But it is no act that deserves punishment, let alone unemployment." He hoped he got his point across and released her chin from his grip.

Shian felt the world spin around her. Her brain acted like it was packed in cotton wool, each sound reaching it too slowly. It took her a bit before she could fully understand what the prince told her but when it finally settled in she relaxed. It was a blessing as the stiffness left her body and the mist around her mind started to clear.

Taking several deep breaths Shian straightened her back and brushed her black bangs out of her face. It had been a long time since her last panic attack and Shian really didn't appreciate it coming back, especially not in front of the prince.

Speaking of whom – he still sat in front of her, patiently waiting for her to calm down. Shian barely dared to look at him, even though he reassured her that he wouldn't punish her, the embarrassment was almost too much for her to handle. "Please forgive me", she said, her voice still slightly trembling but without the fear in it. "I'm sorry that you had to witness me break down and I'm sorry for running into you so carelessly." She bowed her head again, but this time it was a sign of remorse and not of panic.

Koumei nodded. "I forgive you. But please try to get a hold of yourself. I don't know why you think that I resent you, but there is really no reason for it." Forgetting all etiquette for a brief moment, Shian lifted her head in surprise and looked at him. "I don't think you resent me!" "Then why do you always act like I would snap at any moment and…assault you in some way!?" It seemed to relieve him to ask this question – but unfortunately it had the opposite effect on Shian. Being still sensitive from the stew of feelings inside her, she wrapped her arms around herself to hide the fact that she had started to shiver slightly once again. "Just…bad experiences" she murmured, "It has nothing to do with you in particular. I've simply learned to be careful. I-"

She had to stop mid sentence as another wave of emotions hit her and dared to spill out in the form of tears and breathing problems. Koumei sighed. He was really glad that she didn't think that he hated her. But now he'd done it again and upset her once more. For some reason he felt really bad looking at her like this, seeming so small and helpless like a bird with broken wings. He wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her in her pain, and his arm already twitched in an upwards motion when-

"Shian!? What's wrong?" Hurried footsteps approached the two of them and a moment later a brown-haired maid crashed on the ground next to Shian, looking incredibly concerned. Her eyes widened in surprise as she saw Koumei sitting on the threshold and he figured that the door must have blocked the view so she thought that her friend was on the ground alone. "Mai…" Shian mumbled, sounding partly relieved and embarrassed. Her eyes flickered between Mai and Koumei, clearly not sure what to say. But in the end, she thought the truth would be best. "I had a panic attack and his highness helped me calm down." She spoke rather monotone, this time not letting shine through what was going on inside her. Shian suppressed as smile as she could see the emotions on Mai's face – her friend was always quite easy to read. Right now her concern mixed with her undying desire to know and spread palace gossip, but obviously she would never start anything with the prince there and her friend in distress. Mai stroked her back and smiled, still unsure what was going on exactly but nonetheless relieved. She bowed slightly in front of the prince. "Thank you, my Lord, for helping her." Koumei just shook his head and finally stood up again. Brushing the dust of his clothes he stepped around the two maids. "If you excuse me, I'm busy. Shian, be so kind and come by again later." And with that he disappeared down the corridor.

Shian groaned as she could feel the panic rise up inside her again. What did he mean by that!? Despite the efforts of her brain to mess her up again she forced herself to calm down. He wouldn't hurt her. He wouldn't send her away. It would be fine.

She hadn't overlooked the menacing glimmer in Mai's eyes, now that they were alone. As caring as Mai could be, she tended to dismiss the trouble of others a bit too quickly. Still, Shian was glad that she had told her friend about her attacks a couple months back. She hadn't told her why she had them – her past was very private – but it still helped greatly to have someone who knew what was going on.

She didn't really had a choice after Mai had found her in a broom closet, bawling her eyes out and trembling like a newly born bird without a mother. She had been so scared that the touch of her friend caused her to scream out and it was only thanks to Mai convincingly inventing a story about a big rat that no one questioned her behavior. Shian had to smile at the memory of the panic in the kitchen after the mention of a rat. It had been quite a frenzy.

"Earth at Shian!" She snapped out of it as Mai waved her head in front of her face. "Were you listening?" Shian blushed slightly and shook her head. "Musing about the prince, I bet! Come on, I know your attacks leave you feeling weak, but we still have a lot to do! Are you up to the task?" "Oh, sure! I'm sorry that I wasn't there earlier, I got send around with some documents." Mai stood up and pulled her up with her, looking surprised (and a bit like an owl, but Shian would never tell her). "He let you touch his precious documents!?" "Well…yeah…"

The two of them made their way back down the corridor, continuing to bicker as usual before they continued to clean the floor. Mai had decided that they would split the rest of the work that day, including the prince's chambers and Shian hadn't objected. She was glad to not be alone with her thoughts about the upcoming meeting. In a way it was like a déjà vu, it was not the first time he had asked her to come to his office. She wondered if it would be that surprisingly pleasant this time around too.

Kara joined them not long after they continued to mop the floor, being done with the carpets which now hung in the courtyard in the spring breeze. With the three of them eager at work it didn't take all that long before they had finished the corridors, cleaned the second prince's chambers and returned the carpets to where they belonged.

Kara and Mai had left her in front of the office door to attend dinner, happily discussing the newest palace gossip. It seemed as if Kouen had fallen for a young woman, being described as having ash-blonde hair and clear grayish eyes. What really sparked the chatter though was the fact that she apparently came from a family of simple citizens and with that had no royal status whatsoever. Not that Shian cared, it was only a rumor after all and she really couldn't imagine the prince falling for anyone, no matter their bloodline. And to be completely honest, she only listened to their disappearing voices because she wanted to have an excuse for not entering. Her heart was already beating stupidly fast and she could feel the fear lurking inside the back of her mind. But Shian was fed up with freaking out, at least for today so she ignored it and knocked determinedly on the door before she could back out again.

The sound echoed through the empty corridor louder than she expected causing her to look around her in alarm. She was still alone though. Too alone in fact, as there was no answer from the other side of the door. She waited a few seconds before knocking again. And then again. Still silence.

"Move aside." The annoyed sounding voice made her jump a little, she hadn't expected to hear something from directly behind her.

She turned around, finding herself at eye-level with a whole lot of scrolls. Behind said scrolls waited the third prince of the Kou Empire, clearly irritated and impatient. Shian hurried to step aside before bowing deeply – she didn't quite have the same respect rooted in fear for him as she had for Kouen, but she still felt incredibly grateful to him. It had been Kouha after all who had picked her off of the streets.

"Oh, don't just stand around like that, make yourself useful and open that door."

Now, Shian was used to harsh words and being ordered around rudely but coming from the third prince she couldn't really take his words too seriously. She knew that he cared too much about his subordinates to mean anything he said in a menacing way, but still – when he offered her to stay directly under him or take on a normal job as a maid in the palace, she choose the latter. Maybe because he enjoyed hitting his magicians so much.

Realizing that she still stood there facing the ground, she hurried to open the door for him, letting him enter his brother's office. As expected it was empty and Kouha just paraded over to the desk, dumping all of his scrolls onto it carelessly. Shian watched in slight horror as they spilled over the edges and uncoiled themselves all over the floor, mixing with the loose documents they had taken with them into the abyss.

She sighed silently, knowing exactly who was the lucky maid who would have to clean them up before Koumei returned. Kouha didn't seem to mind though, as he looked upon the mess he created with a satisfied grin. He probably thought his brother would be the one to take care of it and Shian wouldn't dare to correct him.

He turned around to leave the room and caught her eye before she lowered her head again. "My Lord? Do you by any chance know where Lord Koumei is? He asked me to come to him." Kouha huffed quietly. "I think he went out to the birdhouse after tasking his poor unsuspecting brother with playing delivery boy!"

It was clear that he thought that to be below his dignity and Shian had to suppress a smile at the indignant sound in his voice. He was a prince, yes, but he was also still a child in a lot of ways. She curtsied slightly. "Thank you, my Lord."

She backed away as to not turn her back on him, before making her way to the servants' quarters. Out the back were the stables and next to the stables – the birdhouse. It was more of an aviary which housed the messenger pigeons. It was the worst kept secret of the palace that Koumei sometimes snuck out to feed the birds or just sit in the aviary with his paperwork, surrounded by the never ending cooing of the pigeons. Shian couldn't understand how anyone could work like that but Koumei seemed to like it, sometimes coming out of it only after hours, covered in feathers.

Unfortunately it was a rare event for him to withdraw himself like that as it was something that was looked down upon in high society. It was no place for a prince, even though he seemed way more relaxed in the birdhouse than at his workplace. Shian wondered what made him choose to hide this time and if it was disrespectful of her to seek his company. But oh well, it was him who called for her and not the other way around.

So she continued on her way, passing her own room and the empty chambers of her colleagues – they were all out eating right now – and stepped out of the back door onto the loosely paved path. Said path led past the well and the vegetable gardens all the way to the stables and so she followed it until she could smell the tart odor of the horses and the hay. There she left the path and made her way through a short patch of the dug up dirt where the gardeners would soon plant all kind of vegetables. Behind it laid the aviary and Shian could already see Koumei sitting inside on the floor through the fine mesh of the lattice, his figure distorted by the metal and greenery.

Now, the aviary was not a big cage. It was maybe two meters in diameter and bordered at a little stone tower where the pigeons found shelter in the night and cold. The top had multiple openings that could be opened and closed at will, but right now there where all closed – meaning all the pigeons resided inside, sitting trustingly all around the prince.

Shian approached the little door in the cage and knocked quietly on the metal frame as to not stir up the birds. Koumei raised his head from the book he was reading and looked at her. A slight smile spread across his lips. "Come in, but be careful." His voice was hushed although the pigeons really didn't seem to mind his presence at all. Shian figured they were used to him by now. Carefully she opened the hinges on the door and slid into the aviary, quickly shutting it behind her as soon as she was inside. She looked around curiously, she had only ever seen it from the outside after all. Some kind of climbing plant with a wooden stem spread itself on the inner walls against the tower and the metal and the birds had found residence upon the thin branches. Wondering how they didn't snap under the plump looking animals, her eyes caught a lot of metal sticks poking out from beneath them. Apparently their natural sitting places were reinforced.

Her gaze ended its tour on the prince who was still looking at her. He had laid his book beside him, a pigeon feather making for an appropriate bookmark. "Please, sit down. I'd like to talk to you."


	6. Chapter 6

Shian felt a whole array of emotions. She was still worried about what Koumei wanted from her but there was also a little bit of excitement. It felt good meeting the prince here in this remote location, almost like a secret rendezvous.

She blushed a little at the thought and shook her head slightly to get rid of it. Her action caused the prince to frown, clearly thinking it was her answer to his previous invitation to sit down. "You can stand as well, I just don't think it would be exactly comfortable." The blush on Shian's cheeks deepened as she hastily replied: "No, I'd love to! I'm sorry, I was just lost in thought."

Timidly she left her place at the door and went over to him with two small steps. She looked around, not sure where to sit and how but he simply patted the ground besides him, indicating her to sit next to him. Actually…really close next to him. Taking a deep breath, Shian lowered herself to the ground and leaned against the mesh, shivering a bit as the cold of the metal seeped through her clothes. She pulled her knees close to her body, locking her arms around her legs to stabilize herself. "My Lord, if you would allow the question", she asked quietly, "why did you want to meet me here? It is…an unusual meeting place."

She could hear him chuckle and turned her head to face the prince who smiled at her. Hastily she lowered her gaze again, causing him to sigh. "Please, look at me. And I didn't ask you to come here, did I? It is by chance that I am here now, when you decided to follow my wish. Who told you I was here anyway?" He sounded more curious than annoyed. "Your younger brother, my Lord." She dared to look up again after he told her to.

There were a few seconds of silence in which she fought down the disappointment. Of course, he was right. He didn't specify the time nor place of their meeting, so how could she have been so presumptuous to think he had chosen the aviary?

"So…why did you call me?"

The wind rustled in the leaves and feathers around them and Koumei turned his head to look around, breaking their eye contact. "You said you don't think that I despise you. Which is good of course, because I don't, but then tell me – why do you always act like that? You mentioned bad experiences…with whom?" The curiosity had returned to his voice.

Shian felt the world whirl around her. It was the same as before when he asked her about her past. She didn't want to talk about it and she felt her throat tighten because of the unspoken words. Her fingers locked themselves in the fabric of her skirt.

Koumei had looked at her again, noticing her behavior. Inside him his curiosity to know more about her fought with his desire to calm her down. Finally the latter won – he didn't meant to cause her discomfort again. He took the book from beside him and let it slip between her knees and her body so that it landed in her lap.

Shian flinched a bit as she felt something solid slide down her legs but she calmed down as soon as she saw what it was. Seven stars blinked up at her, forming a rough cart shape. She stroked the book cover before looking up confused at Koumei. "What..?" "You did tell me that the reason that you keep staring at it is that you like space. Would you like to read it?"

The total U-turn he just made confused Shian even further but their conversation seemed to head in a much nicer direction so she jumped on and nodded. "Yes, my Lord. I'm afraid I wouldn't understand all, but I'd still love to try." She really hoped admitting it hadn't been a mistake.

Apparently not: "Then take it with you. But I'll expect you to take good care of it!" The last words had been a bit admonishing but that couldn't dull her happiness – she had just gotten full and official permission to read one of the books she had longed for for so long! "But...your Highness, aren't you reading it currently?" Koumei dismissed her argument with a wave of his hand. "I've read it so many times by now I can practically recite it by heart. Take it."

Shian pressed the book to her chest with both arms wrapped around it, still beaming with bliss. Giving herself a little shove to get away from the cage wall she dropped onto her knees and bowed deeply in front of the prince. There hadn't been much space between them to begin with and Shian felt her hair brush against his silken robes, but she didn't care. "Thank you so much! I swear I'll guard it better than my own life!"

Koumei stared at her speechless for a second before chuckling silently. "Please don't. Books can be replaced, lives can't." Surprised, Shian rose again and looked at him curiously. "But I am just a maid. If I die or leave, you can just hire a new one. There are so many people out there who would be honored to get a position in the palace."

She did have a point. Koumei brushed his bangs back and thought for a moment. "Maids are replaceable. But so are princes. And generals. Even Emperors. But now, those are just professions and titles, not actual people. When it comes down to the person, everyone is unique." His voice quieted down to a mumble. "Which can be cause for quite some problems actually." Shian pretended as if she didn't hear him, although she understood perfectly. She knew one or two things about the policies of the Kou Empire through secret reading sessions and occasional eavesdropping. Not quite agreeing with them Shian decided to keep silent, she didn't want to ruin the relaxed atmosphere.

The breeze picked up and she shuddered a bit, squeezing the book even tighter to her chest as if it could provide her with some warmth. By now dinner must be over and twilight had set in. Without either of them noticing the pigeons had retreated into their cozy tower and now it was eerily silent.

Koumei had noticed her slight shiver and scolded himself for not paying attention to it sooner. "We should head back inside, it's getting cold and dark." He stood up and brushed the pigeon feathers from his robes, dropping them all on the still sitting, unsuspecting Shian who sneezed in response.

She looked up at him like a scared owl and he couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry, that was not intentional." He crouched down again and plucked a few feathers out of her hair, his hand lightly brushing against her cheek.

Shian felt like she was frozen in ice. On the one hand she enjoyed his touch, the warmth of his hand against her cheek and she realized just how touch starved she was. On the other hand…there was her past. And all the emotional baggage she carried around with her dared to bubble up at the sensation of his skin against hers. He must have noticed that she didn't react to him and hastily retracted his hand. "I'm sorry" he repeated and stood up again before turning to the door of the aviary. He opened it and ducked through, holding it open for Shian to follow. She scrambled to her feet and hurried outside, breathing in the cold evening air. Behind her the door clicked and Koumei went past her, carefully gathering his robes so they wouldn't drag through the mud. Shian held the book with one hand and followed his lead, raising her skirt with her now empty hand.

On the way back both of them kept quiet, Koumei thinking about how she had reacted to him and Shian pondering the familiarity her superior had showed in the cage. She followed silently behind him, remembering that she still had to clean up the mess his brother made. But even though she knew why she kept following him even after they traversed the servants' quarters, he didn't - and so she found herself a bit confused why he didn't comment on it at all. Maybe he didn't care.

When they reached the familiar, purple decorated door Shian broke the silence.

"My Lord? Your brother brought some documents right before I left to meet you and I didn't have an opportunity to clean them up yet. Please forgive me." With that she curtsied, but Koumei noticed with a rush of relief that she didn't seem to be driven by fear this time. He nodded. "I was the one to task Kouha with bringing them here so I don't see the problem."

He opened the door, entered – and paused. "Now I do", he said with a groan, his head hanging in sheer annoyance at his brother. "But I don't blame you, don't worry."

The two of them entered and Shian closed the door behind her. She set her book down near the door and hurried over to his desk to clean the scrolls and roll them up neatly again. "He was not pleased that you assigned him to deliver them."

Koumei huffed. "He needs to grow up." His voice sounded resolute and he sat down at his desk, arranging the scrolls Shian put on top of the wood. "Thank you for the blanket by the way." At first Shian thought she misheard, so quiet was his voice. She looked at him in surprise, but the prince ignored her, seemingly indulged in the scroll before him. But Shian noticed that his eyes weren't moving and a red shimmer spread across his face. She smiled silently and cleaned up the rest before making her way back to the door. The leather of the book felt warm as she picked at back up.

It was already pretty late and she didn't get to eat anything but Shian felt that it was going to be a long night. But alas, letters weren't bad companions so she didn't mind. Almost out the door the voice of the prince held her back once more. "One day you'll have to tell me. Sleep well."

Shian swallowed hard, of course she would have to justify her behavior some time. She nodded reluctantly. "You too, my Lord." Then she closed the door, standing alone in the dark corridor. Although the remark made her worry a bit it still couldn't dull her excitement. She gathered her skirt in one hand and began to run through the corridor, trying to keep her steps light. Now that there was nothing standing between her and some quality reading time she didn't want to lose one second of it.

"Waaaake up!" The loud voice of Mai caused her to jolt awake. For a second Shian looked around confused before finding herself in her chamber.

It had been four days since the meeting in the aviary and her day had consisted of working, talking and reading. Work was self-explanatory, just because she had had a nice chat with the prince didn't mean her workload became any less. But with working came talking – and Shian valued it a lot. Because she could just clean the office whenever it fitted her she spent a lot of time in Koumei's presence and because he was curious about the book the two of them had started to talk a lot. About space. About the stars. About work. And sometimes just about the weather.

Shian had opened up more and more to him and by now she sometimes caught herself talking to him quite casually. He didn't seem to mind but for her it was still strange.

Concerning reading – that was the reason why Mai had to come over and wake her up. Shian read on endlessly night after night and only went to sleep early in the morning. It was not her fault that all the constellations and stars the book described where so interesting! It laid safe under her pillow, but today would be the last day it resided there. She managed to finish it in the night and so she would return it today before cleaning.

"Hey, are you still sleeping in there!?" Mai's voice pulled her back into reality. "I'm coming!" she replied – and paused in shock. There was no sound coming from her mouth and the attempt to speak up had burned in her throat.

Alarmed Shian jumped out of bed and immediately plummeted to her knees, producing a loud hollow sound on the floor. "I'm coming in now!" With that Mai opened the door, pausing surprised as she saw her fellow maid sitting on the ground in front of the bed. "My Rukh, you look absolutely awful", she said before coming over to her and kneeling next to her. "Don't tell me you're sick, please." Mai was clearly concerned for her friend, she really didn't look good. The eye circles had been part of the package the last days, but Shian was even paler than usual and trembled slightly although it wasn't too cold in her room.

She nodded weakly and gestured to her throat, signalling the brunette that she couldn't speak.

"Ooooh, Hadi's not going to like that", Mai said, biting her lower lip anxiously. Shian shot her a look that clearly said: "I don't like it either!" Her response was a head-shaking. "Don't worry, Kara and me will take care of everything. You just concentrate on being healthy again tomorrow, yeah? I'll bring you tea when I have some free time." Shian's expression softened and she smiled gratefully at her friend. With her help she climbed back into bed, flopping down on the mattress.

She felt incredibly weak and her throat still hurt from her attempt to speak. All in all, she felt horrible and also quite guilty. The last days she had neglected her own health in favor of staying longer with the prince and reading and now she had to pay the price. And she couldn't even bridge the time because she already finished the book. Well, she could always reread it.

It turned out that that wasn't necessary. The illness took its toll on her body and soon, Shian was soundly asleep again. She didn't even notice Mai, who slipped her a cup of chamomile tea around noon. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing for her to be sleeping all day, at least that way she didn't have to deal with her cold.

A quiet knock woke her up. Judging from the faint light coming from the window it must already be early evening. "Come in" she managed, pleasantly surprised that her voice was back again. Sure, it sounded like a piece of metal scraping against a rasp, but at least she could make herself heard again. The door creaked open and Mai came in, carrying carefully a little wooden bowl from which steam curled upwards. Though her nose was clogged Shian could smell the hearty aroma of chicken broth and her stomach growled quietly in approval. She propped herself up against the wall behind her bed and smiled. "For me?" Mai grinned. "No, for Bert." She made her way over to her ill colleague and sat down on the edge of the bed, carefully placing the bowl next to the now cold cup of tea.

Shian didn't mind though and grabbed the cup, painfully gulping down a few swigs of liquid.

"Ouch…as nice as that soup smells this is not going to be pleasant." Mai shook her head. "But your body needs its strength. So please try to eat something."

"Yes Mom" Shian replied with a small smile before she grabbed the bowl along with the spoon in it. She sipped a few spoonful of the hot broth and listened to Mai's report of what she had missed. Hadi had been upset but not angry – which really relieved Shian. After all, it was not like she had been trying to get sick. And it had been a normal day in the palace – busy, but normally so. When Mai talked about how they split the work Shian raised her head interested.

Apparently, Koumei had been very, very sad that she couldn't come today and had been very, very concerned for her well-being. Shian couldn't help but smile at that part. It was nice to imagine that the prince actually did ask about her, but because it was Mai telling the story she could be sure that he hadn't actually been that interested.

With a little more palace gossip she concluded her telling and looked at her fellow maid expectantly. She had emptied the bowl by now and slid herself down into bed again. "Thank you very much, Mai. I'm sure I'll be okay again tomorrow." Gathering the bowl and the now empty tea cup again, Mai nodded in agreement. "You better be! If I have to spend another day listening to that prince how badly he misses you I'm going to explode!" She threw her hands up in an overly dramatic gesture, causing Shian to laugh. "Oh yes, I assume that's exactly what he would do." Mai nodded again, this time in a comedic fashion and winked at her playfully. "Sleep well" And with that she went out the door, closing it behind her.

Shian still smiled before snuggling up to Bert again. The soup had made her feel way better and she was positive that she would be fine again tomorrow. She leaned her head against her pillow and felt the book under it pressing against her cheek. There was still time to return it tomorrow and so Shian fell asleep once more.

She awoke in the middle of the night. At least she assumed so as the sky outside her window was still pitch black. The problem was – she felt wide awake. Compared to her state this morning she felt fresh and strong and in no way capable of going back to sleep. Pondering what to do she felt the leather cover of the book below her pillow again. She might as well could use the time and bring it back now – it was highly likely that Koumei was still up given his habit of working an unreasonable amount of time. With a few quick movements she got out of bed, surprised how steady her feet were carrying her, and put on her shoes. Then she took the book and headed outside – only to notice that she left her candle inside. For a second she considered heading back but it was actually not too dark in the corridor so she figured she'd take the chance.

One hand outstretched too lightly feel the wall beside her Shian started walking into the west wing, careful to step on the carpet as to not cause too much noise. The palace was eerily silent and one could start to notice spring changing into summer – the air was mild in comparison to the evening in the aviary.

It didn't take long for Shian to reach her destination and for a few moments she paused and listened for any sounds behind the office door. It was as silent as the rest of the palace but she could see light oozing out from under the door. Instantly she felt herself transported back to the night she tucked him in and so she found herself at a loss for choices. If he was still awake then great – she would return the book (and maybe chat a bit, but she refused to allow that thought). If he was asleep again she would have to extinguish the candles once more.

That left her with only one way to go: in. She knocked softly, afraid to wake him up if he did fall asleep. As no answer came she spied through the gap between door and frame and found his desk deserted. As it was the only part she could see like that Shian didn't know whether he was somewhere else in the room, but finally she gathered up her courage and opened the door silently. Sliding in she looked around, only to find the prince indeed sleeping. Just not at the desk but on the couch which of course was way better. He had used his robes as a makeshift blanket and his hair was tied into a loose braid which hung over the upper edge of the couch.

She smiled to herself and looked at him for a few seconds. He really is handsome, no matter what people might say. And quite cute, she thought, only to realize her own train of thought. She blushed and shook her head, hurrying to go over to the bookshelf. There she tucked her treasure back into its home, looking longingly at all its siblings next to it. The opportunity was really good but for some reason she felt slightly unwell at the thought of peeking inside the other books. She had done it often before but now, after Koumei had given her one of them willingly, it felt as if she was betraying him.

With a short sigh Shian turned her back to the shelf, looking instead at the table. She actually wanted to head out but her eyes were fixed on the blank wooden top. The document in the middle was filled with Koumei's small handwriting and in the few seconds she had looked at it Shian couldn't help but read a few lines. That's an itemization of export and import products, she thought, complete with the according costs. Unconsciously she had taken another step towards the desk only to flinch in surprise when the prince moved on the couch. She held her breath as he shifted and turned, now laying with his back to her among the light green pillows. Even better.

Exhaling slowly she got even closer and skimmed over the page. It really was just a long list of wares and costs and on top there was a tiny note stapled to it. "Percentage variance", she read and indeed, under the document she discovered another one that dated back to last year. With a flash of surprise Shian realized that she was quite able to calculate said variance without too many problems. She had learned how to do it in her parent's business and a country was exactly that – a really big business. There were a few moments in which she just stood there, wagering what to do. It was almost comically how she imagined a little angel and devil popping up on her shoulders, staging the argument she fought in her head. "You're going to be killed if they find out" said the devil, clearly having a good point. "That's classified information right there. And you're just a maid." "But you would be able to do it", responded the angle. "And no one needs to know. You would help him a lot! I bet he'll be grateful. You would do a good deed!" Once more sighing Shian shook her head, the imaginary figures plopping out of existence. Deep inside she already knew what she was going to do.

And with that decision made she sat down at the desk of the second prince of the Kou Empire.

Time to do some paperwork.


	7. Chapter 7

Yawning like a sleepy lioness Shian stood in front of Mai's door. One might think it was unusual that she got up so early after her nightly excursion to the prince's desk, but in reality she simply didn't go to bed. Admittedly, it wasn't the smartest decision given that she had been ill yesterday but except for the heavy fatigue Shian was feeling quite well. And so she went directly from doing paperwork to freshening up a bit and from there to Mai's door. It was almost time to get up anyway.

A good portion of worry had remained inside her head, even though she had tried to mimic Koumei's handwriting and put the finished document deep in the "done pile", she was still anxious that he would find out. But she also felt pride for what she had done and a part of her brain knew that it wouldn't have been the last time.  
The squeaking of the door brought her back to reality, Mai had opened the door just a gap to glare at her visitor under her messy mane of hair. Shian chuckled quietly and put on her best "isn't it a wonderful morning?" smile.  
"Rise and shine, we have work to do!" she piped, only to receive a disgruntled groan from her fellow maid who promptly shut the door again. The grin still on her face, Shian entered nonetheless, sitting down on the bed while Mai got ready for the day.  
"How come you are up so early? And so happy!? Aren't you supposed to be ill?" "Thanks a lot", Shian replied sarcastically, crossing her arms in front of her chest.  
Of course Mai wasn't serious about her words. Even the energetic brunette was not immune to hating getting up early.

"I am feeling way better, really. And because I was practically sleeping through all of yesterday I woke up early." "I'm happy for you but that doesn't mean you can torment me now!", Mai whined, putting on her apron and fighting with her hair so it would stay in a bun.

Shian was just about to answer when Hadi burst into the room. "Up up, no time to lo-"

Surprised at the sight of both of them already up and ready, Hadi paused. "It seems my visit here is unnecessary. But nonetheless, it's good that you're here Shian – are you healthy again?" She nodded, wondering what was going to come. "Could you take over for Nami today? She sprained her ankle yesterday evening trying to chase a squirrel."

Both maids chuckled quietly. Of course they felt sorry for Nami, but what happened was so typical for the kind-hearted and clumsy girl. "Of course", Shian replied finally, mentally already scheduling her already existing tasks with the new ones. "Nami worked with Hou and Tian in the eastern wing, right?"

The eastern wing – of course opposite the familiar west wing – housed the higher generals when they weren't out on some kind of battlefield or mission. It was mostly unknown territory for Shian but she did work there from time to time as a substitute. As far as she remembered it was less work, given that the chambers of the generals were far smaller than the ones of the princes and princesses, but Shian still preferred her usual work space. The people were kinder here.

Hadi nodded in response and hurried away, ready to force the other poor souls out of their well-deserved rest. Mai and Shian shared a quick glance. "How are we going to do it?" Mai asked, earning herself a shrug from Shian. "I'll still do Lord Koumei's office but if you and Kara could clean his private chambers, that would be nice. I'll do it right after breakfast so I'll be able to head to the eastern wing afterwards right away." "Sounds like a plan to me."

A couple of minutes later both of them were sitting in the servants' kitchen next to their peers, eating and chatting before the day would start. Nami was also among them, an elastic bandage around her ankle and a guilty look on her face. She sat across from Shian and had apologized at least three times already and Shian had reminded her three times that it was okay, she herself had been ill yesterday as well. "Let me at least take over your kitchen duties, okay? I'll only have to stand at one spot like that" she offered.

Shian smiled and swallowed her last piece of bread. "That would be good, yes." Happy about Nami's offer she stood up and took her plate over to the water tub. Like this she would just have to deal with breakfast, which she would take with her to Koumei, and not worry about dirty dishes and dinner. She occupied her usual work space and started slicing bread while her colleagues swarmed out, either to prepare food as well or to start their daily cleaning.

It didn't take long for the kitchen to fill with the smell of eggs, fruit and various teas and shortly after, the first servants headed out to bring their trays to their respective recipients. Shian couldn't help but chuckle at the silver tray with a single bowl of peaches – there was no doubt who would receive that one.

She grabbed her own one from the countertop and after a last look at the buzzing kitchen she headed out. The way to Koumei's office seemed shorter than usual. She was quite certain that he was in there given how he had spent the night so she didn't bother checking his bedroom.

In front of the familiar door she listened for a second before knocking. "Come in"

His voice sounded somewhat distracted and as she entered, she could see why. He sat at his desk, two documents in front of him, looking confused. It were the documents she had worked on last night and Shian could feel the blood drain from her cheeks. She curtsied anxiously before coming closer and putting the tray down on a corner of the desk. "Is everything alright, My Lord?" "I think so. I just…have absolutely no recollection of working on those two."

He tipped on the paper before him. Shian gave him a shy smile. "Maybe you were too tired and did them unconsciously?" "Yes, possibly…", he mumbled, not sounding convinced. Then he finally looked up at her, causing her to lower her gaze respectfully. "Never mind it. Are you better again?" She nodded. "I slept pretty much all day yesterday so I'm feeling pretty good right now. Would it be okay if I take care of your office now?" Koumei scratched his head, seeming almost embarrassed. "I have a lot to do right now, there are some war meetings coming up. Please do it later."  
Biting her lower lip Shian had to be careful not to object. She would simply have to do the eastern wing first, no big deal. "Of course, My Lord. If breakfast is to you satisfaction I will go now." He nodded and she bowed again before heading out. Now, what was the fastest way into the eastern wing?

Shian met Hou and Tian, the other maids responsible for her destination, on the way and they had split their tasks for the day. Hou would take care of the corridors and Tian cleaned the meeting rooms. That left Shian with the private chambers of the generals, two of which were currently occupied. The others didn't require daily cleaning so the three of them got a pass there. She assumed that the two rooms were roughly as much work as Koumei's rooms and his office, so she didn't worry too much about it. She just hoped that the generals didn't have any special habits or wishes which she didn't know about.

She watched as Tian and Hou disappeared down the corridor and timidly knocked on the first door. It was not likely that someone was in there but one could never know. Sure enough there was no answer and so Shian entered the room – only to stop on the threshold.  
Now, she had cleaned the rooms of three princes in her life. Kouen had a lot of weapons laying around, together with books and scrolls and a surprising amount of dirty tea cups.

Koumei's room was always overflowing with books, documents, scrolls and broken feathers, while Kouha generally didn't take a lot of care of his surroundings. Not that he didn't value neatness, he just wasn't the one to uphold it. That' what servants were for.

Keeping that in mind, Shian had cleaned quite a few messes up until now. That still didn't prepare her for the disarray that was this room. Instantly Shian could see that it wasn't the maids' fault. The sheets on the bed looked fresh and there was no dust to be seen.  
Apparently the inhabitant didn't care much for keeping his place clean though. Clothes occupied almost every empty spot on the floor and furniture, the blankets on the grand bed were crumpled and twisted. The desk under the window was overflowing with loose papers and open books, their spines broken and their pages kinked. It hurt Shian to see them like this, precious knowledge treated like scrap paper. The heart of the mess formed a big longsword, simply leaning against the footrest of the bed. Its sheath laid on the ground in front of it and she wondered cynically whether its owner knew for what purpose the sheath existed.  
Huffing silently Shian entered the room, immediately wrinkling her nose because of the stale smell. Determined she crossed the room, careful not to step on any clothes and threw open the window shutters to let some air inside. Then she started to take on the mess.

It felt like she folded a hundred shirts by the time the room started to look less cluttered. She had put the clothes neatly into the big wardrobe next to the door. Next thing to tackle would be the overflowing desk but her eyes landed on the sword instead. She was not sure what to do with it. On the one hand it was quite disrespectful to take someone else's weapon without permission, but on the other hand, she couldn't just leave it at this. It was clearly a hazard. Hesitantly Shian took the heavy sword, struggling a bit to lift it up. She wiped it with her trusty rag and then re-sheathed it. Now that was better. She leaned it against the wall next to the desk and grabbed the first book to straighten its pages.

She didn't get any further.

With a loud bang the door flew open, causing her to flinch and drop the book on the desk. In the doorway stood what Shian could only assume to be the resident, a tall, broad-shouldered man with a grim expression on his face. She had seen him maybe one or two times in meetings and when he was training outside, but that was about it.

Instantly feeling the uneasiness settle in her bones, she hurriedly bowed deeply before him. "What are you doing there!?"

His voice confirmed what she had guessed from the way he looked – he wasn't an easy man to deal with. Her head still lowered she replied: "My name is Shian, Sir. I'm assigned to your quarters today. Please tell me if there is something in particular I can do for you and I'll be happy to assist."

She could hear him snort disdainfully at her introduction. "For the time being you could stop being such a kissass and do your actual job! It's past breakfast and all you've done is meddle with my weapon, apparently." With a few big steps he made his way over to her, causing Shian to recoil in fearful anticipation. Sure enough, as soon as he reached her he shoved her rudely out of the way, causing her to bump against the bed with a small yelp.

Everything she had achieved in the last week disappeared into thin air. All the confidence she gained while working with Koumei, who treated her so nicely, and his brothers, who at least granted her basic respect, vanished, leaving her old, scared self. She just hoped he would be content with scolding her verbally.  
Shian regained her balance and took a step backwards towards the door. He shuffled through the paper mess on his desk, maybe checking if she had done something wrong. "Please forgive me" she said meekly, her body language showing clear submission. Bothering to tell him that she had done much more than just "meddling with his weapon" would only result in more shouts, that much she knew.

He turned to her abruptly, causing her to flinch. When he answered his voice was full of rage. "Why would I!? You come in here, disrespecting me by messing with my stuff and then you have the nerve to ask me for forgiveness!" He grew louder with each word and Shian could already feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She fixed her gaze on the floor fearing to anger him more and just kept silent, hoping he would be happy with that.

He wasn't.

"Look at me!" By now he was legitimately shouting and she quickly raised her head in shock.

The blow came so fast Shian had troubles processing it. She only saw him raising his hand and then she could feel the sharp pain shooting through her cheek and her head. He had hit her with so much force she stumbled backwards, barely finding grip on the doorframe to keep her from falling to the ground. The impact had made her dizzy and so she noticed too late that he was already on his way over to her, his hand raised once more for another strike. Shian shut her eyes tightly, waiting for the pain to come again.

But it didn't.

Instead she felt another hand wrapping gently around her waist and pulling her back, against something that felt like someone's chest. To be exact, it felt like a chest she ran into once before. Daring to peek through barely opened lids she took in the scene. Someone had caught the incoming hand of her attacker and held it with surprising strength.

Finally looking normally she raised her head, looking at her savior. Koumei seemed to ignore her, his gaze fixed on the person before him rather than the frightened maid.

The general seemed as surprised as Shian was that he had been stopped and she could almost see his wish to yell at the prince fight with the knowledge that he had to be respectful in front of him. Finally he lowered his head. "My Lord." Koumei let go of his hand. "Why did you think it was appropriate to hit her? Twice!?"

Clearly at a loss for words the general stuttered a bit. It really didn't fit the behavior he showed mere seconds ago, but that's just how those people are. Only brave in front of others less powerful than them. "Well, she…she defiled my property! I clearly saw her going through my private documents! And she barely got anything done, clearly she is totally useless as a servant."

His voice had gained confidence again, obviously he expected the prince to believe him. Named prince looked down at the maid who still leaned against him, held by his grip around her middle. He felt a spike of anger rushing through him at the sight of her cheek which was bright red. Around her eye her skin had already turned to a reddish purple, it must hurt a lot. "Shian? Do you wish to say something about his accusations?"

Of course she wished to say something. But that was the problem – it was just a wish. Her lips were sealed by fear and although the body of the prince behind her reassured her, her strength was gone. She just wanted to bail.  
"Shian!?" The concern in his voice brought her back a bit. The fact that he was worried about her sparked a warmth in her heart that protected her from the cold the general's attack had left in her. She wiped the tears from her eyes and took a shaky breath. "I swear I wasn't going through his possessions in an inappropriate way." Her voice was barely audible but both men were totally silent, Koumei because he wanted to hear her, the general because he couldn't believe what was happening. "I was simply planning on organizing his items, the way we always do. And I apologize that I wasn't done by the time he came back, but there was a lot to clean up."

Instantly the older man flared up again: "Are you implying that I am disorganized!?" Shian flinched at him raising his voice again, but this time she wasn't alone.

Koumei squeezed her waist slightly. It was just a small gesture, only the two of them could know that it happened, but it meant the world to her. She took a deep breath and then looked him directly in the eyes. "Yes."  
Koumei had heard enough. Of course he hadn't believed that she actually did any of the things he said but having her defend herself was the better way to go about it. And he was actually quite glad that his presence was apparently reassuring to her. "There you have it", he said, sounding resolute. "Now if you would kindly refrain from hitting our employees when you have a problem, that would be nice." Although his wording was polite, his voice was cold as ice. He took a step back, pulling Shian along with him and shut the door in the face of the still speechless general.

There were a few seconds of silence before Koumei loosened his grip around her waist. Almost instantly Shian's legs gave out under her, now that the immediate danger was over she just needed a break. With a dull thump her knees met the floor and she stared into nothingness. The prince rubbed the back of his head, thinking what to do. His view fell onto her cheek again and he bit his lower lip in anger. Bending down to her he carefully grabbed her chin and turned her head so he could look at it better. He could swear that she blushed but with all that red already on her face it was difficult to determine.  
"Wait for a minute, I'll just finish why I came here and then we'll do something about that bruise of yours."

He was half on his way again when Shian's brain clicked and she stumbled to her feet again. "Oh no, please, you've done too much already." She bowed deeply. "Thank you so much for helping me." "No backtalk this time! As one of the highest ranking persons in this palace I feel responsible if one of my subordinates treats the servants badly."

Yeah, that was a good explanation, he thought to himself. Totally has nothing to do with the fact that I just want to see you smile again. He shook his head briefly and turned again. "It won't be long."

He hurried down the corridor and vanished into one of the meeting rooms, leaving Shian struggling between the remainder of her fear and the bubbling joy about his actions. Said joy was muffled a bit by the sight of the door to her right, behind which an angry general lurked. She hurried to get a bit of space between herself and the crime scene, only to get half a heart attack when suddenly Tian popped up next to her. "Dear rukh, what happened to you!?"

Executing a weird little jump, Shian hopped to the side, barely managing to keep from screaming. "Damn Tian, don't scare me like that." She shook her head. "Had a little run in with whoever lives there." She pointed behind her before her voice became laced with embarrassment. "It really hurts and…well…Lord Koumei offered to help me get some treatment. So I'm afraid I'll have to leave you for a bit." Tian blinked in surprise. "Don't worry about that. I've finished with the meeting rooms so I can take over what's left." She eyed the door over Shian's shoulder suspiciously, clearly not eager to meet the raging general. Shian really couldn't blame her.

"Don't bother with his chambers today. I'll take responsibility." Koumei had left the room and returned to the two maids, a few scrolls tucked away under his arm. Tian curtsied and nodded. She shot her colleague a curious look and vanished into the room next to them, the one Shian didn't even enter yet.

"Come on, the sooner someone takes care of that the less painful it will be." He laid his hand flat on her back and gently pushed her along with him, their steps leading to the hospital wing which connected to the eastern one. "My…My Lord, people are going to talk!" She was clearly embarrassed by his action but Koumei only smiled. "Let them talk. I don't care" But I do, Shian thought to herself although she didn't dare to speak up again.

Koumei pushed open the door leading into the healing chambers where they were greeted with multiple cots and a few room-dividers which granted the patients a little bit of privacy. Right now the big room was empty except for a physician who was in the process of organizing a small shelf full of medicine bottles. The man seemed to be quite young, not much older than Shian herself, his blonde straight hair draping over his back like a short cloak. He looked up at the sound of the opening door and surprise presented itself on his face when he saw the two of them. He bowed briefly and then went over to Shian who looked like she felt out of place. Which she did, by the way.  
Koumei lowered his hand from her back. "She got hit, please make sure it will cause her as little pain as possible." And with that he opened the door again and disappeared into the palace, leaving behind the still flustered Shian and a very curious court physician.


	8. Chapter 8

The quiet click of the door marked the moment from which on Shian was alone with the blonde doctor. He looked at her, not able to hide his curiosity entirely, but his expression soon softened, making way for a calming smile.

"Please, come. My name is Liang."

He pointed at a cot next to him, implying her to sit down. The white fabric of the covers reminded her of freshly fallen snow and for a moment Shian wondered who of her peers managed to get them this bright.

Shaking off the thought Shian complied, caught in a mess of emotions. There was the obvious fear, still sitting deeply in her bones, making her follow the physician's commands almost without thinking about them.

Then there was the underlying anxiety reminding her that she still had to clean the prince's office.

And finally and most prominently – happiness. It seemed really bizarre to her to feel so cheerful with her cheek still burning, but all the attention she had received from Koumei today and the concern he showed really made her feel…worthy. Worthy to be a maid despite her failure and worthy to be…alive.

Shian sat down on the cot, her toes barely reaching the floor. The wooden framework creaked quietly under her weight and she shifted a bit to get comfortable, before looking at Liang expectantly. He cocked his head slightly and inspected her carefully, his eyes tracing the outline of the bruise right below her left cheek.

"So, tell me what exactly happened", he said. Stretching his arm, he laid a hand under her chin, turning it right and left to get a good look at the swelling from all angles. Shian felt a hint of embarrassment, being examined like that but she fought down the feeling and answered: "A general struck me. That was maybe fifteen minutes ago." "With his palm or with the back of his hand?"

Shian blinked in surprise. She didn't know why that would be important but if he deemed it crucial then who was she to judge?

"I…don't know. It happened really fast. I think it was his palm?" The picture of the general raising his hand had embedded itself in her mind, so it made sense that he struck her with the palm of his hand.

The physician nodded and released her chin. "It is a nasty hit. Are you feeling dizzy? Or nauseous?" While he was talking he made his way back again towards the medicine shelf where he had worked previously.

He crouched down next to it and looked through an array of small clay pots, each labelled in entwined letters. 'Cayenne', Shian could read, and 'squaw root'.

"I am feeling a little bit out of it but I think that is the shock." Liang nodded in agreement and rose again, a black glazed pot in his hand. It was about the size of Bert, her plush bird.

He returned to her and opened it up, the smell of aloe instantly rising from the clear content of the pot. It looked as if a tiny ocean wave had been frozen in time. "Hold still."

He dipped a fresh white cloth into the substance and started to apply it carefully on Shian's swollen face. The direct contact caused the burning to well up again and she winced audibly, jerking away from the feeling.

"So much for hold still", Liang said but his eyes expressed sympathy rather than accusation. Blushing slightly, Shian nodded and relaxed again. She closed her eyes and as the fabric touched her skin again she was prepared. The pain only lasted for a few seconds before the soothing effect of the plant settled in.

"You should apply it in the morning and in the evening, before going to sleep. If the bruise changes color it means it heals. Try not to sleep on it, I can assure you that every form of pressure will not be pleasant."

With that, he closed the pot again and trapped the fresh smell under the clay lid once more. He threw the cloth into a small woven basket where it waited to be washed. His instructions reminded her of the first time she received medicine from the hospital wing, when her foot had been pierced by a piece of glass. As if he could read her mind, Liang's expression turned curious again.

"Say, were you by any chance the young lady that needed turmeric not too long ago?" Confused, Shian shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't know what that is."

"Oh, it's a root that helps with cuts and the like. Lord Koumei asked for it because one of his servants cut themselves."

Shian blushed, the slight pink mixing with the red of her irritated skin. "Yes, that…that was me."

Liang chuckled quietly. "Oh my, our prince did cast an eye on you, didn't he?"

The pale pink turned into a deep red instantly, the embarrassed maid wishing for a hole in the floor to open up and swallow her.

"That's…that's not it. He is just being considerate. Please don't assume anything else." Taking a step backwards as if to say 'I'm not threatening you', Liang replied: "Don't worry, it was supposed to be a joke. Now, I am done. Take the pot with you, but please return it as soon as you are done."

Relieved, Shian nodded and grabbed the pot. "Thank you." She bent her head slightly to show her gratitude and then made her way out the door. Closing it behind her she exhaled, feeling the exhaustion creeping into her body. It had not been a hard day physically but everything that happened had drained her mental strength. And it was not over yet, there was still the office to be done.

By now Shian had a relatively good routine so she wasn't too worried about it, but work remained work and she already dreaded all the documents she would have to pick up and organize on the desk. On the other hand…

Shian couldn't help but feeling indebted to the second prince. Seeing as she was but a simple maid there was no direct way of thanking him in more than words but thinking about the documents had sparked an idea in her mind. As she had already decided, that paper she had worked on hadn't been the last so doing some more seemed like the perfect way to express her gratitude.

Sure enough, ideally he would never know what she was doing but Shian really cared more about helping him than receiving attention for it.

While thinking Shian had reached her chamber. She put the black pot carefully on her drawer, where it sat in the same spot as its terracotta-colored sibling had before. She really didn't feel like meeting the others yet so she grabbed her rug – still tucked under her apron from the events that happened before noon – and hoped that she could evade mopping the floor today.

All in all, cleaning was an easy task. Firstly, because the room wasn't as messy as she had anticipated and secondly because she was alone. Normally that would mean that Shian spent a while snooping around the books but since she returned the star-book she didn't feel comfortable doing that anymore. And with any pleasant distractions (namely Koumei) gone, she concentrated on cleaning and was done relatively quickly.

Still, as Shian put the last pile of papers onto the desk the sky outside was dim, signalling her that it was time for dinner. Her dinner that was, the royals were probably already done dining. She had considered doing her "repayment" right then and there, but the probability of getting caught was simply too high. That left her with no choice other than joining her peers in the servants' kitchen – her stomach was already demanding food embarrassingly loud, so skipping dinner was out of question.

She dreaded the moment she had to meet the others – she would have to explain what happened and although Koumei had saved her, the guilt weighed heavily on her. What if the general had been right after all? Hadi would be angry at her. And Mai would spin a story out of it that would end with the prince galloping along on a white stallion to sweep her up and carry her to safety.

But sooner or later she would have to meet them and the aftermath of her encounter would be visible multiple days.

Sighing she stuffed her rag back under her apron and left the room with the certainty that she would return later, whenever the prince was either away or asleep. On her way back to the kitchen tract she tried to figure out how she wanted to approach the situation but there was just no right way to go about it.

Shian entered the kitchen and then crossed the threshold to the servants' room. It appeared she was late, most of the others already sat there, including Tian, who of course already knew what happened, Mai, concerned because she didn't hear from her friend all day and Hadi, enthroned at the head of the long table as always.

When she stepped onto the creaky floorboards , the lively chatter died down as all eyes landed on her. Shian could feel her cheeks burning.

It was not the most uncommon thing for the maids to get hit but it was always something that caught attention. Especially if it left clearly visible marks.

Caught by all the shocked stares, she didn't dare to move and simply looked at the ground, fiddling with her apron.

"What happened to you!?" The exasperated voice of the head maid broke the silence. "I…I…", Shian stuttered, finding it difficult to form full sentences, "I got hit by one of the generals in the eastern wing because he was not content with my work. I'm sorry."

And with that, she bowed. Because she was facing the floor, she could not see the expression on Hadi's face change from disbelief to anger and finally to concern. "I will not pass judgement, as I do not know what exactly happened. But whatever it was, I am sure it didn't justify hitting you like that."

All tension escaped Shian's body and she sighed in relief. Hadi was not angry. At least not at her. "I will try and notify one of the princes, I am sure they do not condone thi-" "He already knows!"

A voice farther back in the room piped up, causing both Shian and Hadi (and the rest of the eagerly listening servants) to turn their heads to the speaker. Tian blushed at all the sudden attention and clapped a hand in front of her mouth.

"I'm sorry, that was a reflex. But I figured Shian was too shy to tell, so I will. Prince Koumei intervened and apparently put him in his place." As if following a silent command, all the heads snapped back towards Shian who once again longed for the sweet release of a sudden appearing black hole. Figuring that such a hole would not appear too soon, she simply nodded.

"He…prompted me getting treatment, so I will be fine." Hadi nodded, clearly showing both surprise and respect on her face. "So you are able to continue working?" "Yes. I don't have a concussion or anything."

Probably, Shian continued in her head but she better didn't share that particular thought with her superior. "Good, good…" Hadi muttered and with that, the conversation ended.

Finally, Shian could make her way towards her usual seat at the table, already being welcomed by Mai's glimmering eyes which practically screamed: "Tell me everything!"

And so Shian did. Well, not everything. But she passed the most essential bits of what happened onto Mai while feasting on some hearty stew. Mai of course was of the opinion that the way he urged her into the hospital wing was a form of an unspoken love confession and soon the brunette indulged in fantasies about Shian's wedding into the royal family.

Shian didn't mind, the verbal excesses of her friend left her with some room to think. Days ago she swore herself to turn her back to her feelings and just concentrate on her work and her nice, stable life. Looking back at today that hadn't worked out too well.

Just the little touch of his hand had given Shian the confidence to talk back to a man who had just hit her and that was more than she had accomplished in all the years she worked in the palace. Maybe it was time for her to admit what she was feeling. That was easier said than done, as Shian had no idea what exactly went on in her head. She liked the prince, that much was obvious, but in what way?

"You're doing his paperwork, risking your job and possibly your life just to take some work off his shoulders." The tiny imaginary devil had reappeared on her shoulder, speaking the truth she didn't want to face. "I think it is quite obvious what you are feeling.", it said.

And Shian had to admit, it was right.

Damn.

Hours later, the only thing Shian could hear was her own breathing and the soft rustle of the leaves in front of her window.

It was now deep at night and she forced herself to stay awake for her nightly expedition. She was really tired and it probably wasn't the best idea to sneak into the prince's office in her state but Shian was determined to pull through.

Taking a deep breath she got up and slipped into her shoes. It was dark but no candle this time. She didn't want to be seen and would use one of Koumei's candles, given he was at least mentally absent. If he wasn't and she got caught…Shian didn't have a good excuse so she just counted on evading him. If not she would cross that bridge once she got there and would hope that it didn't crumble to dust beneath her feet.

Almost out the door, Shian hesitated and finally she grabbed Bert. What she planned on doing was risky and having some sort of comfort couldn't hurt. Her nightgown didn't have any pockets so she simply put him under the fabric covering her chest, where his tiny beak peaked out over her neckline.

The fluffy fabric that represented his feathers was thin and worn down and scratched against her skin but she felt reassured nonetheless. She left the room and started to walk towards her destination. Hopefully, she would get a lot done tonight.

When she reached the purple decorated door her heart stumbled a bit. Behind it seemed to lurk only darkness, judging from the lack of light that usually shone through the gaps between door and doorframe.

One hand pressed against chest and Bert, Shian opened the door as silently as possible and then listened carefully for any signs of sleeping princes. She could hear neither rustling of clothes nor breathing so she relaxed a little and entered the room fully.

Having cleaned the room so often she could now navigate it in the dark without problems and seconds later, Shian stood by the desk. After a few seconds of feeling around in the darkness her fingers found a candlestick and shortly after the matches.

The phosphorus head made a ripping noise as she chafed it against the rough surface and the little flame lit up the table top. Shian hurried to light up the candle she just found and as the shine of the flame illuminated the whole room, she exhaled relieved. The room was indeed deserted.

Scanning the desk briefly Shian picked out which documents she could work on this night. A lot of them were financial in nature, bills and trading contracts – she was confident in processing those correctly. Soon there was a small pile in the middle of the desk and Shian made her way around it, sitting down in Koumei's chair once again. The quill still stuck in the inkpot – a place where it really shouldn't stay too long – and so she picked it up, tapped it on the rim to get rid of any excess ink, and started to write.

The scratching of the feather tip sounded foreign to her at first but soon Shian lost herself in all the numbers and formulas, feeling at peace with her doing. While the seemingly endless process of writing might seem boring to a lot of people, Shian enjoyed her work. It gave her brain something to do, and every time a new information clicked into place it felt to her as if she could truly accomplish something. It really wasn't difficult for her to imagine how Koumei kept his sanity in all this work – he must have really liked doing it when he started out.

Soon she had finished her little pile and distributed it evenly in Koumei's "done-pile". By now she felt slightly guilty – if he really payed attention there was no way he didn't realize someone tempered with his documents. Still, even with the slight guilt there was no regret in her. At least not until she noticed that the candle had burned out.

That she could still see was due to the rising sun that shined through the window. It was almost morning and Shian hadn't gotten any sleep and was still in her nightgown.

All too soon the palace would wake up and if someone were to bust her on her way back that would led to some awkward explanations. Hastily, she replaced the now barely existing candle with a new one from his drawer and arranged everything the way she had found it before. Now she just had to make it back to her room undetected.

For a second Shian listened at the door, making sure everything was silent before slipping out, closing the door quietly behind her. She exhaled in relief when –

"What were you doing in there?"

Shian squeaked in shock, her head jerking upwards to see who spoke. In front of her, both arms stacked with books, stood the first prince of the Kou Empire. She could feel the blood drain from her cheeks and she already started to mentally write her will. Quick thinking was essential now.

Hastily she bowed her head. "I-I…" Even if she had an absolute plausible reason for coming out of Koumei's room so early, the towering figure of her superior would still be enough to make her stutter. Being almost caught red-handed didn't make the situation any more pleasant. Shian cleared her throat, starting again.

"When cleaning yesterday I lost Bert and I wanted to retrieve him before Lord Koumei gets to work so I won't disturb him."

There were a few moments of complete silence before Kouen spoke again, utter disbelieve in his voice. "Who is Bert!?"

Shian cursed herself silently in her head. While her excuse would probably save her neck it would make the prince think of her as even lesser than before.

Priorities Shian, she thought to herself. She rose again and fished Bert out from under her dress, letting him rest on her open palm.

"My…stuffed bird. I didn't have the best day yesterday, so I carried him around while cleaning. As…as comfort."

Kouen's eyes rested for a second on her cheek, where the bruise had changed to a dark purple color which was easily visible even at first glance. He nodded. "Yes, Koumei told me."

There was no sympathy in his voice but at least there laid no accusation in it anymore. "Don't just walk in and out like you please if there is no work for you to be done."

The blood rushed back to her face, this time making it burn in embarrassment. "Yes, Your Majesty. Please forgive me" She put Bert back and took a step to the side, her head hung in shame. Kouen just nodded and opened the door with his elbow, vanishing in the room shortly after. Shian didn't wait for him to get out and hurried back to her own chambers. She should be happy there were no consequences but the disgrace still weighed heavily on her.

Hopefully Kouen wouldn't tell his brother about it…


	9. Chapter 9

Three hours later Shian could barely keep her eyes open anymore. Yesterday had been exhausting in its own way and she didn't get any sleep this night. While she was still happy that she took on the paperwork, her heavy eyelids made her curse the time at which she chose to do so. How was she supposed to get through the whole day like this?  
Currently she was standing at her usual place at the countertop, cutting apricots on auto pilot. Breakfast was already over but lunch had to be prepared nonetheless.  
Mai stood next to her, having taken up the cause to stop Shian from chopping up her own fingers on accident. She had interrogated her tired friend but Shian had kept silent, not wanting to share her doings with anyone, not even Mai.

Actually she was really silent altogether, too drowsy to hold up a conversation, so Mai had taken it upon herself to fill the silence between them, chattering happily about the newest rumors.

Once more Shian was glad to have a friend who could entertain herself just fine and she just concentrated on severing fruit until Kara popped up behind the two of them.

"Shian, do you still have to do the eastern wing today?" Shian shook her head. "Nami can already wobble around just fine so she, Tian and Hou decided they would stick together and do their tasks that way."

Kara huffed in relied. "Good, good. So we will do it like always? I'll do the corridors, Mai gets Lord Kouen's and Lord Kouha's room and – " "and I will clean the office and Lord Koumei's chambers, yes." Shian continued, nodding in agreement.

"Oh yeah, that's a great idea", Mai added, chuckling to herself. "You two can take a nice nap together, you could use it." Shian rolled her eyes at her friend while Kara just smiled amused.

She swiped the apricots pieces into a wooden bowl where they would be processed further into a nice fruit salad while Mai added the peach slices from her own cutting board. She wiped her hands on her apron and the three maids exchanged looks. "Ready?" "Let's do this!"

Fueled by Mai's usual enthusiasm they headed to the broom closet and stocked up on rags and mops before heading into the west wing. Kara and Mai continued down deeper, while Shian leaned her broom on the wall next to Koumei's office. She was just about to knock when she heard voices inside. Now of course, eavesdropping wasn't a nice thing to do but she couldn't help herself – because she figured relatively fast the conversation was about her.

"By now I honestly believe I'm going insane."

That was Koumei's voice. "There are again documents, fully processed and I have absolutely no recollection of when I've worked on them. But here they are, in my handwriting and seemingly correct. When did I do them!?"  
Shian smiled a bit to herself, the confirmation that her doing was correct filling her with pride. "You're overworking yourself. As usual. That probably took the long overdue toll on your sanity."

The smile faded from her face quickly as the other person answered. It was Kouen. "Just be glad they're done, right?"

"I guess so", Koumei mumbled, barely audible to Shian who still listened through the door. She raised her hand once more to knock on the door when Kouen spoke up again.

"By the way, this morning when I returned those history books, that maid came out of your room." Shian froze mid-movement. Shoot. "Which maid…?" "The one that always hangs around your room", Kouen replied dryly. "You know…the black-haired one you like so much."

One could have used Shian as a lighthouse, her cheeks burning so brightly red it would have been visible in a dark night. Were they honestly talking about her?  
Koumei cleared his throat and ignored his brother's teasing. "What did she want?" "Apparently she lost her…plush bird in your room." The way he said 'plush bird' made it very clear what Kouen thought of a grown women carrying around a stuffed animal and Shian's head grew even redder, if possible.

For Koumei's answer she had to press her ear against the gap between wall and door because he was apparently mumbling to himself. "I think it's cute…"

His words calmed her down a bit again, although it really didn't help with the redness on her cheeks. Damn, if she didn't get her skin color under control again by the time she entered they both would know that she eavesdropped. The following silence made her think that the brothers' conversation had ended, so she took a step back, rubbing her none-injured cheek slightly in a desperate attempt to get rid of the blush. Not a second too soon as the door swung open, revealing the first prince who looked at her slightly surprised.

"Speak of the devil", he grumbled before leaving without saying anything else. He had left the door open so now Shian could see Koumei rather than just hearing him. To her amazement he seemed to have similar problems as her, given how he kind of hid behind one of his sleeves in a meager attempt to hide his flushed face.  
Shian smiled sheepishly and curtsied before heading inside. "Good day, my Lord. Would you be okay with me cleaning now?" She just decided to act as if nothing happened.  
Koumei nodded, clearly deciding on the same thing as he lowered his arm back on the table. "Go ahead."

Shian grabbed her broom from around the corner and closed the door. Then she leaned it against the wall again – she wouldn't need it before she wasn't done dusting everything else. Pulling her rug out she started swiping it along the windowsill when Koumei's voice made her pause.

"My brother just told me that you were in here in the morning."

Oh no, here it comes, Shian thought, bracing herself for more scolding to come. She turned around and bowed. "Yes, my Lord. I lost something yesterday and wanted to retrieve it without disturbing you."

"Hm hm…". That was everything he 'said' before returning to the work at hand, leaving Shian quite confused about what he thought of her behavior. At least no chiding this time.

Silently she returned to her task, not wanting to waste any time. But while her hands were busy cleaning and scrubbing her mind wandered far far off. What she had heard through the closed door simply didn't leave her mind. And she wasn't the only one – but because her back was turned to the prince she didn't realize his eyes lingering on her with an almost sad expression.

The rest of the time the both of them kept quiet, immersed in their tasks and thoughts.

This night Shian didn't stay up to do Koumei's paperwork. She was simply too tired to do anything than fall into bed, after the whole day had been as exhausting as every else. Luckily enough Hadi had attributed her over-the-top tiredness to what had happened yesterday and didn't scold her. Yet…

The next night, she was on it again. Koumei didn't leave his office until early in the morning so she snuck in even before breakfast and managed both paperwork and cleaning in one fell swoop. This proved to be very effective as she had the perfect excuse for being in the room at such a time.

Every early morning Shian got up, checked if Koumei was there or not and in case of the latter would do her deeds.

Due to her doings, the prince began sleeping a bit longer (good) and started to doubt his sanity even more (bad). And Shian…well, the maid had a little bit more time to get the rest of her tasks done but as a trade-off, she now was eternally tired. So tired in fact that she had stopped talking in more than single-word sentences which worried not only Mai and Kara, but Koumei too. He started to miss their conversations, even if they had been short and at times one-sided.

It was bound to happen at some point.

It had been almost two weeks since Shian had started her nightly mission and today she had been even earlier than usual. A bad dream had kept her awake and so she started her routine shortly after midnight. Now she was sitting at Koumei's desk, chin propped up on one hand and the tip of the feather between her lips – she had picked up the habit of chewing on the soft fibres while thinking.

Thankfully the feather was rather forgiving and so no one had noticed yet. On the paper in front of her were a lot of dates written, each one signifying the date when an important contract would expire. While Shian of course didn't know which arrangement would be kept and which not, she could calculate which of them was the most urgent and search for them in the seemingly endless abyss of Koumei's binders.

It wasn't a big task but it was a long one so she had a good feeling it would help him a bit. After she arranged the necessary papers on the edge of the table she pulled the next document in front of her. It was some sort of table but she couldn't distinguish anymore as the words began to dance on the page, blurring before her tired eyes.

She yawned and crossed her arms over the paper. Maybe she could rest her head for just a bit. Close her eyes too, just for a moment. Seconds later, Shian was sound asleep.

A hand gently touching her shoulder woke her up. "Wake up."

She shifted a bit, still deep in the embrace of her much needed sleep. "Just five more minutes…" she mumbled.

"No can do, I need that chair now." "Chair?"

Within a split second she was wide awake, jerking in an upright position. Her back instantly complained about the unusual sleeping place by sending sharp pain through her spine and Shian groaned in response. She shook her head in an attempt to clear her head and blinked the sleep out of her eyes. Raising her head, she finally saw who had woken her up. The second prince looked down on her, standing next to her and the desk with an unreadable expression on his face.

All blood drained from her cheeks, making the faded yellow bruise under her eye stand out against her now pale skin. Shian swallowed hard. This was it. This was the situation she had feared from the moment she had picked up the quill for the first time. She should have been prepared for it to happen but her blood froze nonetheless, sowing ice-cold fear inside her. Her eyes darted from the prince to the document she had slept on and back, before slowing rising out of the chair. Moving slowly as if facing an agitated tiger she backed away from the desk, not breaking eye contact. The tension broke as two things happened simultaneously.

Koumei cleared his throat and began to talk. Shian dropped to her knees and touched her forehead against the carpet that laid around the desk. They were struck with a sudden sense of déjà vu as the situation proved to be similar to the one foregoing Shian's panic attack but seeing as this time her behavior had an actual reason, it seemed much worse.

"So it was you. Meddling around my documents every night." Koumei's voice was still unreadable but his choice of words was clear enough. Swallowing again, Shian dug her fingers into the carpet, her muscles already stiffening up. She didn't even try to defend herself – there was nothing to defend. "Yes, my Lord."

He had to bend down a little to understand her, so hushed and scared were her words. "And why did you think that was a good idea!?" Now his voice wasn't difficult to read anymore – it conveyed exasperation, pure and simple. "You do realize that those documents contain classified information, right? I noticed you looking at them while cleaning, which is bad enough, but this is on a whole other level!" He grew louder with every word and although he wasn't screaming it seemed to her as if her eardrums were about to burst. "Do you know which consequences there are for such an offense?"

By now Shian was crying uncontrollably, although totally silent. The carpet soaked up her tears and it took her a few seconds before she managed to answer. "Y-yes, my Lord."  
Still facing the floor she couldn't see what he did and only heard the shuffle of clothes and steps drawing near. He went over to her.

Shian let out a small whimper and braced herself for whatever happened next – a punch? A whipping? Or would he just drag her off to be executed right away? Her brain produced a wide array of gruesome possibilities and still…what actually happened wasn't among them.  
He knelt down in front of her and laid his hand softly on her shoulder. "Why did you decide to take this upon yourself?", he asked, his voice growing gentle and caring. The sudden change sent a jolt through her body, surprise mixing with her fear.

Shian wanted to believe so badly that he meant what his demeanor implied – that he was not angry, but simply concerned. But it was so hard.  
"I…I wanted to help.", she whispered, "You are always overworking yourself for the sake of the Empire and you are still so…so kind. I wanted to repay you for that. I wanted to repay you for saving me. I just-" Her voice broke. There was nothing left to add.

Koumei squeezed her shoulder slightly, aiming to reassure her a bit. He was actually not angry with her. He should be, but first and foremost he was impressed with what she had done. The only thing he was indeed agitated about was the fact that she had endangered herself so easily. If someone else would have busted her there was not a lot to be done.

"Listen", he began, "I'll make you a deal. For not telling on you." Shian raised her head, looking at him with a mixture of hope and deeply rooted fear. While she of course never expected someone like Koumei to be like this, there often was only one thing a man wanted from a woman when it came to "deals".

And Shian hadn't made the best experiences with such arrangements. Still…if she were to come out of this situation with her life or maybe even her job, she would do what had to be done.  
"Work for me." His words caught her by surprise. "My Lord, I don't understand. I already work for you." He shook his head and confirmed her worries. "Not in this way."

Koumei was actually rather surprised as the maid in front of him burst into tears again. He was quite happy with what he came up with – it would be good for both of them and (although he didn't want to admit that was a reason) they could spend more time together. He really did miss her the last two weeks. So why was she crying like that?  
The realization hit him a second later and he could feel himself blushing against his will. Raising his hands in a defensive manner he shook his head again, making his magenta hair fly around him. "Not like this either! I want you to become my assistant!"

Silence followed his announcement, which wasn't the worst thing – at least she had stopped crying and was now looking at him with a shocked expression.  
Shian wasn't sure if she heard correctly. Was he really offering her a job as his aide!? He never had someone at his side to help with all the work, at least not that she knew off. That was no punishment what he proposed – it was a reward! She sniffled. "Really?"

After his nodded response she acted out of pure impulse. Shian flung herself at the prince, locking her arms around his torso and snuggling up against his chest. Seconds later she was bawling her eyes out again.

Perplexed and astonished Koumei embraced her without a second thought, letting her cry into his clothes which soaked up her tears. He figured that this time her sudden action wasn't caused by fear but by joy and he could feel his body relax as relief flooded his mind. He gently stroked her back and after a few minutes her sobs receded and she calmed down.

Only to tense up again as she realized what exactly she had done. "I am so sorry!" She was about to chuck herself at the ground again to apologize but Koumei was prepared and held her closer.

"While I do agree that the current situation is the exact opposite of appropriate…please calm down. No one is here except us. No one will know. It's okay." He felt a little bit as if talking to a hatchling that fell out of its nest but his words seemed to actually have the desired effect and she calmed down for good.

"Thank you", he heard her whisper and then she relaxed in his arms. Koumei patted her back a little awkwardly and released her from his grip. Trying to find his resolve again he cleared his throat. "Now, there are a few things we will have to clarify. Preferably not on the ground though." Shian nodded hastily and rose to her feet, still a bit weary from the rollercoaster of emotions she just went through. Following her example Koumei stood up as well and grabbed a clipboard from his desk.

Shian stood where she rose from, clearly feeling a little bit uncomfortable. "My Lord?" Koumei turned towards her, a questioning look on his face. "Yes?"

The maid rubbed her arms and bit her lips before finally coming out with her request. "Would it be okay if I made some tea first? I cried a lot and the water loss always gives me a headache. And maybe you would like something to eat?" Pleasantly surprised, Koumei nodded. "While you are gone I will make preparations. And I suppose I will have to speak with my father."

He fell silent for a few moments. "You better don't tell anyone how I noticed that you could be of help to me." Shian nodded hastily, her bangs bobbing up and down. Then she curtsied quickly. "I'll be right back."

"Don't stress yourself, I don't even know if he is awake ye-" But he was already talking to thin air.

Shian was gone.

Normally Shian kept a brisk walking pace as working in the palace didn't offer much opportunities to slack off. This time though her usual speed paled in comparison as she dashed through the corridors, each step springing her up into the air a bit as a sign of her joy and relief. The majority of the palace seemed to be asleep still – Koumei must have woken up early this time. Judging from the light that shone through the windows she had a little less than an hour before her peers would awake – more than enough time to prepare some tea and a light breakfast for the prince.

She arrived in the kitchen quickly and spun around a few times, giggling happily to herself. Her enthusiasm was dulled a bit though when she stubbed her foot against one of the metal ovens and her cheerful spinning turned into hopping accompanied by cursing.

Cooled down like that she started to gather what she needed, including the jar of dried peppermint leaves and the tea service. This time Shian decided on two cups which were decorated with delicate dark blue patterns which swirled all over the fine porcelain. It made her think of ink which made it all too appropriate. The fact that there were two cups on the tray now instead of one made her grin to herself stupidly. It was remarkable to her what little things could make a person happy.

While the water started to boil in the kettle she prepared some jianbing guozi – something like a thin crepe – and chopped up a bit of fruit. It was supposed to be something simple but she still took her time to arrange the food a bit the way she had learned it in her years as a maid.

The kettle started to whistle and Shian poured it into the pot quickly before adding the bag with the tea leaves. Assembling everything on her tray and balancing it carefully she made her way back, this time much slower as she didn't think her fragile cargo would survive her jumping routine.

By the time she arrived in front of the door Shian had two familiar – albeit imaginary – visitors.

"You know…now you're not just a maid anymore. And technically you're even a noble. There is a good chance you could get with the prince", the demon purred into her ear and she could practically see his wide grin.

"Don't be ridiculous", the angel chimed in, "you've lost your status long ago. And it's not even set in stone yet that you will become his assistant – what if the Emperor objects? Also, even though he seems to like you there is no guarantee that he loves you the same way you love him." And with that, it poofed out of existence again.

"I don't love him…" Shian mumbled to herself although lying to herself seemed like a pointless task.

"Who do you not love?" The question came from behind her shocking Shian to the point where she nearly dropped the tray. She whirled around, looking at Koumei who apparently just had returned from his father's chambers. Her face lit up red as her brain stumbled over itself, trying to find an answer that didn't involve having to say "you".

"B-B-Bert." She finally managed, already face palming internally at her stupid response. Koumei raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that your plush bird?"

"N-no…I mean, yes." Shian took a deep breath and whipped up an excuse on the spot. "But he is also one of the merchants on the market and the other maids teased me about him and I just had to think of that."

She had talked fast to get it all out and was actually happy with her little white lie – until she became aware of his expression.

The second prince had put on an overly neutral expression but the underlying discomfort was obvious. She wondered if he knew that she was lying but if so, why didn't he call her out on it?

"You know, when people talk to themselves about not loving someone then it's mostly the opposite that's true." A shadow passed over his face as if talking from experience.

Oh, how right you are, Shian thought to herself and suppressed a sigh. Too bad they didn't really talk about some merchant but about a prince way out of her league.  
She put on a smile. "I'm sure what you say is true a lot of times but I can assure that I'm not in love with him. It was just a little teasing among friends." The look on his face softened a bit and he nodded. "Let us head inside, I'm not in the mood for cold tea." He reached passed her and opened the door, allowing both of them to enter.

The door closed behind Shian again with a soft click and marked the beginning of a new chapter in her life.

She just hoped it would be a good one.


	10. Chapter 10

Shian put down the tray on Koumei's desk, the papers from her nightly doings still spread out over the wooden surface.

Without a second thought she started to organize them and put them away neatly, earning herself a small smile from the second prince. "I really should punish you at least somewhat. For messing with my stuff like that."

She flinched a bit but his tone and informal choice of words didn't trouble her too much. Looking up at him with a somewhat cocky smile she asked: "And what kind of punishment would that be?"

Instead of an answer Koumei took the documents out of her hands and put them down again before stepping behind her and laying his hands down on her shoulders. The maid grew confused at what he was doing, but although her anxiety already waved a multitude of red flags she trusted him.

Koumei shoved her gently forward and spun her around before pressing down on her shoulders and seconds later Shian found herself sitting on his green couch. "There. Sit down. No more cleaning for you!" His voice was stern but he winked at her before returning to the desk to order the documents himself.

He left behind a stunned Shian who – although she hadn't been scared – didn't exactly expect something nice to happen. She watched him as he buzzed around, shuffling his papers, before grabbing the tray and coming over to her. He put it down next to her and sat down on the opposite end of the couch.

Allowing herself a cheeky – albeit slightly timid – smile, Shian looked up at the prince. "I know you said no more cleaning, does that also include pouring the tea?" Chuckling quietly he shook his head and leaned back against the armrest of the couch.

"Go ahead."

And so she poured them both a cup of steaming peppermint tea and the two of them shuffled around a bit before they could face each other comfortably.

Koumei took a sip of his tea. "Okay. Let's talk business."

Shian was both scared and excited. She hid behind her tea and savored the warmth that the steam spread across her face, her eyes focused on the prince. He stared into the green liquid in his cup before he raised his gaze again and started to talk.

"My father, the Emperor, has acknowledged that me having an assistant would be an advantage to both me personally and the Empire. He also granted me the freedom to choose freely who I deem competent enough to help me."

His words were accompanied by pride that showed on his face, he was clearly happy about his father's words. As he noticed the knowing smile Shian couldn't hide entirely behind her dishware he cleared his throat a bit embarrassed.

"That is the good news, because it means I can employ you as my assistant without too much trouble. Now of course he doesn't know that you already got a pretty good look at classified information,", with that, he shot her a scolding look that made Shian blush, "so he issued that although I can choose who I want, you will be monitored for some time. To decide whether you're trustworthy or not."

"Monitored by the Emperor!?", Shian squeaked in shock, the vision clearly making her uncomfortable. Koumei couldn't help but smile. "His Highness is way too busy to deal with something like that himself. The task of supervising you will fall upon myself and Kouen. But don't worry, it just means that we will check over your processed documents and for the time being you will not be allowed to take any out of this room."

Shian exhaled in relief, that really didn't sound too bad. Then her mind stumbled across something he said.

"Wait…does that mean I'm going to work here? In this room? With…you?"

Koumei grimaced. "You make it sound like a bad thing. I'm sorry but yes, that's what it means. If you prove yourself you can get your own office if you wish to but for now you will have to suffer my presence."

Shian retreated into herself at his words, she really hadn't meant to insult him or anything. "You misunderstood", she mumbled, her fingers tensing around her tea cup. "The prospect of working in the same room as you every day, all day long is overwhelming to me. You are of such higher rank than me, it seems…unreal. But-", her words grew even quieter, "I am really happy about it. I hope I won't be too much of a nuisance to you."

A few moments of silence followed as Koumei cursed himself silently. He knew how fragile the maid could be. But by now he jumped to conclusions faster than usual simply because he was afraid of being right. He valued her presence but at the same time didn't want to use his rank to force her to spend time with him. Being in a position of power such as himself, people were rarely ever completely honest with him. He took a deep breath.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to attack you like this. You don't have to lie just to appease me."

"But I didn't!" The words were out before Shian could stop herself. She slammed her teacup down onto the tray, the porcelain making a sharp sound against the metal. "Why don't you believe me!? I told you I wanted to help you for always being so kind, of course I wouldn't want to avoid being near you!" Her eyes glistened in the morning sun, she was on the verge of crying again. This time out of sheer exasperation rather than fear.

Silence followed her words as Shian was too embarrassed to talk and Koumei was too surprised at her lashing out. Then he began to laugh. It started as a quiet chuckle but soon the prince was giggling to himself as if he had heard the joke of the century.

Across from him Shian was sulking with arms crossed in front of her chest. First he accused her of lying about liking him and then he laughed at her. Shooting him an insulted look, Shian grabbed a peach slice of the tray and started to nibble on it, just to give her something to do. By now she probably looked like a pouting squirrel but she didn't care.

Finally Koumei calmed down and shook his head slightly, surprised at himself for losing his composure like that. He smiled at the maid. "You're really cute, you know that?"

Great. Now Shian was not only sulking but also blushing. "Thanks" she mumbled, not able to continue being mad at him.

"I'm sorry. I think I got your message pretty well. And don't worry about being a burden or something – you enjoying my presence is mutual. Let's just move back to the task at hand, okay?" Shian finished her peach and nodded. "Yes please."

"Okay, so where did we stop. The room, right? You will get a desk in here. Each morning I will sort through the daily work and put on your desk what you will have to work on, if there is something special that needs to be done we will discuss it as soon as we both arrive. Technically I don't care when you do your work as long as you are finished by the evening."

His expression softened. "Or nearly finished. There is so much to do, "finished" is a vague term in this case. I trust that you will learn how to manage your workload and will not slack off."

Shian nodded diligently, at this point "hard working" was basically her middle name. "Of course."

"At the beginning I don't think you will be able to process everything right away. Feel free to ask me or", he paused for dramatic effect – he knew what he was about to say would be to her liking, "read up on anything in the library or the books you find in here."

Jackpot. Shian's eyes lit up like two beacons and she gasped for air in excitement. "The whole library!? Really?"

Koumei nodded and smiled. "I don't doubt that you are knowledgeable but I'm also sure that you miss a lot of crucial information for the task at hand. I will adjust what I give you accordingly but I expect you to fill in any knowledge gaps you come across so that we can expand your range of duty over time."

Shian nodded so hard her bangs flew up and landed in front of her eyes. She brushed them back against her ear again sheepishly before nodding again, this time more moderately. "I understand. I don't want to pre-empt myself but I'm sure I will be able to adapt."

Koumei smirked. "Then we agree."

He put his now empty cup back on the tray and grabbed the plate that she had prepared. His stomach growled in approval and Koumei felt the red creep onto his cheeks. "If you don't mind, I would eat before we continue."

Shian tried to hide her smile unsuccessfully and took the bowl of fruit as response. While she ate the juicy contents of the bowl and Koumei took it upon himself to annihilate the crepe, the two of them stayed quiet as the sun rose higher over the walls of the palace. It was a calm and relaxed silence only disturbed by the awakening birds outside.

Finally Koumei began talking again. "I rarely have the time to just…sit. Even when I'm out in the aviary I mostly have documents with me or at least a book in which I look up something. It's…nice."

Shian put down her bowl. "I hope I will be able to give you the freedom to do it more often", she said, her voice quiet but determined. The prince nodded.

"That would be nice. But if we both just overwork us, no one gains anything." He turned his head towards her. "The last two weeks…you did it every night, right? How did you manage to combine the paperwork with your duties as a maid?"

"I did it in the early morning, before anyone else woke up." "I did notice that my office was cleaned every morning even before breakfast."

He seemed to hesitate before continuing. "Because you were always already done you didn't come into the room while I was working anymore. I…guess I missed you." Shifting a bit uncomfortable, Shian answered: "I'm sorry. I just figured it would be a good excuse if I got busted."

His words made her happy but at the same time, there was a stinging in her gut – she had disappointed him.

Koumei put down his plate. He gnawed on his lower lip as if wanting to say something else but then he shifted the conversation back to the topic at hand. "I think we discussed all the necessary things, now to something nicer. Wage and housing. You will receive the same pay as a general, given that you will become my personal assistant and- Shian, are you okay?!"

Koumei suddenly sounded alarmed because his soon-to-be assistant had apparently stopped breathing. He waved his hand in front of her face and finally he poked her to get a reaction.

Shian shook her head to get herself together again. "Isn't…isn't that bit much!?" she asked, clearly still in disbelief. Smiling amused, Koumei raised an eyebrow. "Even if it were, why would you tell me?" "I don't want anything that I didn't earn!" She sounded almost enraged.

He couldn't help but grin – he really had found himself someone interesting. "Don't worry – the pay is more than appropriate, you will see. Further you can take two days per month off but I would ask you to discuss that with me beforehand so I don't lose you on a particularly busy day. Any questions so far?"

Her head spinning, Shian needed a moment to collect herself. She did of course know that her life was about to take a turn but she was so used to not get anything before she hadn't worked hard for it that the whole situation seemed still unreal to her.

"Well…yes.", she finally said. "Am I only allowed to work while you're also here?"

Koumei thought for a second before answering. "No, I don't think so. As long as any documents stay inside it should be fine. Just put the ones you're finished with on my desk. Anything else?"

Suddenly, Shian grew embarrassed and fiddled with her fingers in her lap, making Koumei wonder what her next question would be.

"So, I rose in ranks, right? I'm not…a maid anymore. Does that mean…you know, theoretically, that I could ask the other servants for favors? Like the generals do?"

A wide grin spread across Koumei's face, she was so cute. "Go ahead and say it like it is. Yes, you can order your former peers around if you wish to. You will probably have to at some point because you won't have the most time to get your own breakfast or clean your room yourself anymore."

"That sounds mean!" "No one said you need to be a jerk about it", he said with a smile, "but I understand. It will be weird in the beginning. Talking of your room – would you like to move? You're currently living in the servants' quarters after all."

"But I am still a servant, right?" "Technically, yes. But you're more like…an employee now. There's a difference."

Shian sighed, it felt like the events of the morning clogged her brain and now every new information just toppled right out of her ears.

When she didn't answer, Koumei continued: "There are a few unused rooms in the east wing. I think you remember from your…little adventure two weeks ago." Shian nodded in agreement. "You could very well occupy one of them. I think the way is a little longer but it will be way more comfortable. And bigger of course."

Shian imagined how that would be, her few possessions in such a big room. It probably had a walk in closet too. It felt ridiculous to her, she only owned two sets of her maid uniform, her nightgown and one set of casual clothes after all.

"Does it have window?", she asked quietly. That was the most important thing to her, she wanted to be able to see the sky. Koumei shrugged. "To be honest, I don't know. But you can have a look later." He was quiet for a few seconds. "I don't want to force something upon you but it would be better for you to move. It's more appropriate given your new situation. It doesn't have to be a room in the eastern wing but I'm afraid you'll have to leave the servants' quarters."

She nodded, growing silent as she got caught up in her thoughts.

The opportunity that offered itself to her here was a wonderful one and Shian was very happy about it. But she would lose her familiar environment, her only friend and the other people close to her.

She shook her head. They would all still be there, she would just spend less time with them.

"My Lord? Would it be alright if I started tomorrow? Then I can move rooms today, speak with the head maid and my friends about it and…get a little bit more accustomed to it."

The silent change that happened within her hadn't gone unnoticed by Koumei and he nodded. "Of course. I've worked alone for years now, I will be fine with one or two more days. But there is something else."

He bent down and grabbed a small pouch from the ground next to the sofa. It was made of leather and decorated with ornaments of golden thread. He dropped it into her lap and Shian could hear the chinking of coins inside.

"Conveniently enough, today is market day, which means you go out to get groceries anyways, right? Get yourself something nice to wear. If it's just day to day work your maid uniform is fine but when accompanying me in meetings you should wear something a bit more…sophisticated."

Shian stared at the pouch in disbelief, not sure where to start with freaking out. "I will accompany you in meetings!? You mean with…your siblings and…your…your father?" He nodded. "One of your tasks will be to keep the minutes. Don't worry, you won't have to actively participate, that would be a bit much to ask of you. And before you say anything else – please just take the money. I doubt that you could afford the nicer fabrics with your maid salary. And I want my personal employees well dressed."

He had taken the wind out of her sails and so Shian just nodded. "Thank you", she mumbled. "I will go then, if that's alright? I suppose the others are having breakfast now and will start work soon after." Koumei hummed in agreement and she grabbed the pouch and the tray, got up and headed to the door.

"Shian, there is one more thing. One more condition to be met for you to work with me."

His voice was serious and Shian shuddered at whatever it was that was coming. She turned around slightly and looked at him. "Yes, My Lord?"

"I told you before, didn't I? One day you will have to tell me about your past." He smiled, but it was a thin smile devoid of positive emotions. "That day has come. I will leave it up to you if you do it today or tomorrow but I will need to know what you hide before I let you into the secrets that keep the Kou Empire going."

Shian could feel the blood drain from her face. She didn't hide anything per se, especially nothing illegal, but she still wasn't comfortable sharing it. But she didn't have a choice.

When she answered, her voice sounded broken. "Yes, My Lord." With that she opened the door and stepped into the corridor.

The rest of the way to the kitchens Shian tried not to think about it. Of course he would have to ask about her past. She just hoped he wouldn't hate her for what had happened before she came to the palace.

When she entered she could already hear the chatter of her colleagues coming out of the servants' kitchen – she had been right about breakfast. She would talk to Hadi right away and break the news to the others at dinner. Although how she didn't know.

The tea cups clinked quietly as put them in the dish tub and the now empty tray reflected her face. She didn't look any different but she sure felt changed.

As she entered the room all eyes laid on her, making her shift her shoulders in discomfort. Especially Mai's concerned look dealt a jab of guilt in her but she would have to deal with that later. She approached Hadi and bent down to her so she could whisper in her ear.

"Would it be possible to talk to you in private, please?" The head-maid's expression conveyed curiosity as well as concern and a pinch annoyance which made for an interesting picture. She nodded and got up, leading Shian out of the door again. She could feel the piercing eyes of the others in her back and then the two of them were alone in one of the pantries.

"What happened? Did you get assaulted again?" The gaze of the older woman wandered over Shian's body as if trying to find the reason for their conversation on her clothes. Shian took a deep breath.

"Starting tomorrow I will stop working as maid."

Gasping for air Hadi pressed a hand against her chest. "Oh dear. What did you do to get yourself fired!?" Now it was Shian's turn to gasp, not in shock but in exasperation.

"Why is that the first thing you assume?", she asked, already pouting. "I got promoted! From tomorrow on I will be the personal assistant of Lord Koumei."

Saying it openly like that Shian couldn't help but feel pride welling up inside her. It was a lucky (or unlucky, depending on who you ask) coincidence that led to her getting the job but it was nonetheless an accomplishment.

Hadi apparently thought so too, as she was staring at Shian in utter disbelief, her mouth slightly open and at a loss for work. She had never seen her former boss so dumbfounded.

"I will be doing my duties today as usual but if you could assign me to go to the market that would be great. Apparently I need something more suitable than what I am wearing right now so I could combine grocery shopping with that."

Finally Hadi regained her composure and nodded. "Congratulations Shian. I have no idea how you managed that, but I am happy for you. I'm sure you will do great. Take whoever you like to the market with you"

The kind words were unexpected and now it was Shian who stared at the other astonished. "Thank you"

She bowed her head respectfully and then left the pantry, feeling way better than before.

There was no doubt who she would take with her into the city.


	11. Chapter 11

"Teeeeeeell me!"

Mai swirled around Shian in an attempt to persuade her friend to spill the beans.  
The two women were on their way out of the palace, both equipped with large bags, money out of the kitchen budget and a long list of groceries. They had just passed the gate and were now on the cobblestone path that led into the heart of Rakushou and to the marketplace.

"I will tell you once we're there."  
Shian answered her friend's pleas for around the tenth time since they had departed.  
"But that's still such a long way!", Mai pouted, causing Shian to smile. Their walk would last barely ten minutes.  
"At least tell me if it's something good or bad, okay?"  
She had to think about that for a moment before she answered: "It's something good but at the same time also something slightly sad."  
Mai gasped for air in an overly dramatic manner. "You are pregnant!?"  
Shian sighed amused. Her friend really was something.

Eight minutes later they stepped onto the marketplace which was already filled to the brim with a whole array of people, ranging from noblemen, servants of noblemen and thieves who steal from noblemen to merchants.  
Latter were either busy praising their wares loudly or were in the act of checking out the competition.  
The whole place buzzed with life and color and although Shian was more of an introvert she always liked the picture that displayed itself before her.  
What she didn't like was actually diving into the mass of people but there was not much of a choice. The two maids locked hands (so they wouldn't lose one another) and put their other hands into their pockets (so they wouldn't lose the money to a wandering hand).

Then they made their way through the haggling people and yelling merchants and reached their first destination. It was a large booth that displayed fresh fruits and Shian and Mai stocked up on peaches, apricots and melons. They knew the booth owner well as fruits were something they had to buy more often than the non-perishable foods and Mai started to chat with her.  
Ida was a woman only a couple of years older than Mai and Shian and was really pretty with her fiery red hair. She shared Mai's undying love for gossip and so Shian left the two of them to their chatter. She was pretty sure that by now her friend had a big crush on Ida but she knew better than to tease her about it.

She continued to the stand next to the fruits and filled her bag with sacks of rice and different spices, her back already complaining about the added weight.  
Unlike Ida the man behind the counter was not someone she would describe as likable. He was a guy who ate too much and worked too little as all his rice and spices were important either from other cities or other countries. And it showed – he viewed a lot of things as his possessions, including poor Shian who had to suffer his advances every time she came to the market.

He had stepped next to her and helped her bag the wares and now as she dropped the coins she owed into his palm he grabbed her hand with his and smiled at her, showing of his yellowed teeth.  
"My dear girl, have you thought about my offer? It is still standing. If you marry me I can grant you a comfortable life! No more work, my dear. Only in the bedroom."  
He winked at her trying to be charming and then laughed loudly over his own "joke".  
Shian felt like puking. Yes, she had thought about his offer – it had been exactly two and half seconds before she had decided that she would rather drink acid than marry him. But she had to stay polite, unfortunately.  
Putting on a smile, she answered: "I'm flattered but as I told you before, I ca-"  
She halted mid-sentence. He had taken a step closer to her and now cupped her cheek, stroking her skin. "You would make a splendid mother for my children." He patted her cheek patronizingly and smiled his crooked smile again. "It would be a shame to waste a body like yours."

By now there was nothing Shian wanted more than to place a well-aimed kick right between his legs, but her body was frozen in place, his touch and words waking memories that would be better off forgotten.  
"I'm sorry, but dear Shian is already taken."  
Mai came to her aid, having finished her conversation with her person of interest. She wrapped her arm around her waist and pulled Shian next to her; who awoke from her trance just in time.  
"Have a nice day!" Mai added in a clear "I hope you have a terrible day" voice before she walked by the booth owner, dragging her friend along with her. Before he could object, the two of them had vanished in the masses.

They took a break on a low wall at the edge of the commotion and put their bags down.  
"Are you okay?", Mai asked, tilting her head in worry. Shian nodded, her gaze locked on the floor. She felt shaken. "I'm fine, I just need a few seconds to calm down."  
"I know we can't, but damn, did I want to punch his ugly teeth in! How many times did he ask you to marry him already?"  
Shian smiled weakly at Mai's rightful outrage. "I think that was the third time. Or the fourth? And as far as I know he also asked Hou a couple of times. And Kara." She sighed. "Probably around every girl he comes across."  
"It's disgusting!" "Yes it is", Shian agreed.  
But she didn't want to talk about the old creep anymore. "How was your talk with Ida?" Blushing slightly, Mai played with one of her brown locks. "It was…nice."  
I bet it was, Shian thought to herself, a grin spreading across her face. "I'm glad. Come on, we don't have all day." She shouldered her bag again and after Mai did the same the two entered the stream of people once more.

A long list of produce later they were struggling under the weight on their backs and had only one wish – to head back to the palace. But there was one more thing Shian had to do and she knew Mai would like it.  
"Mai?", she asked with her best puppy look, "do you want to help me pick out something to wear?"  
For a second Mai wasn't sure she heard correctly, usually Shian wasn't one to enjoy shopping. "Sure, but…why? And for what?"  
"You see, if I were to hypothetically attend a royal meeting, what would you suggest?"  
Blinking in disbelief, Mai shook her head. "I'll help you pick something. But you better tell me what this is all about because by now my pregnant-theory has taken a weird turn."  
Shian giggled to herself but the thought of one of the princes – and one prince in particular – getting her pregnant made her embarrassed. "Still not pregnant, Mai. Come one."  
She adjusted the bag and headed to the other side of the market place where the richer merchants offered more sophisticated wares, including expensive clothes and delicate jewelry. Palace maids rarely ever got a good look at the wares, they were much too costly for the likes of them.

All the more Mai got excited as she now had the perfect excuse to browse the display and even Shian who didn't care much for outer appearance couldn't help but being a bit thrilled.  
They parked their purchases by one of the merchants, a friendly looking older man who apparently liked wine a little bit too much, judging by his red nose and cheeks.  
Then they started their little adventure. Most of the small huts and tents allowed the customers to come inside to have a look around, the clothes hanging on the walls and poles.  
"So…what kind of budget do we have?", Mai asked, earning herself a shrug from Shian. She hadn't bothered to check.  
With an eye roll Mai took the pouch from her friend and peeked inside. "Holy hell, Shian, did you loot the royal treasury!?"  
Embarrassed Shian shook her head, making her braid bop against her shoulders. "Of course not! I doubt that we're allowed to spend all of it. I just want something…moderate?" Mai sighed. "Of course you do. But you'll let me throw in a pair of earrings, you don't get this type of opportunity often."

And with that Mai started digging through endless rows of garments and gowns, chatting with the merchants and seeking all kinds of advice from them. At the end of the hour that felt like days to Shian they had picked out a floor-length garb.  
The light fabric radiated in a noble red and tiny floral embroideries decorated its seams. They hadn't asked yet but it probably cost more than Shian's and Mai's combined annual income. To top it off Mai had added the promised pair of earrings – little flowers, matching the stitchery – and a starched white apron, complete with a golden ribbon. Wrapped in white tissue paper the outfit now rested on top of the previously bought groceries which made for a rather interesting view. It was the clashing of two worlds.

After paying it was time to head back. They were gone for far longer than usual and although Shian would get a pass this time there was no reason to exhaust Hadi's patience.  
Walking next to each other Shian could practically feel Mai's curiosity swaying around her like a thick mist and she finally showed mercy.  
"I got promoted to being the personal assistant of Lord Koumei."  
She hunched her shoulders in anticipation and, sure enough, Mai squealed loudly in delight. "How did you manage to do that!?"

Shian hesitated but she trusted Mai. She was sometimes a bit shallow but she was a good friend. So after having a good look around she filled her in on how her nightly visits led to her new post. Mai of course was absolutely stoked about it and started bouncing along happily, only to stop when the apples bashed against her lower back. "I'm so happy for you! You get to do your paper stuff legally and you'll get good pay!"  
As if suddenly remembering something, she bit her lower lip. "But that will also mean that we can't work together anymore. You will move out and…hey, I will probably have to clean up after you!"  
The grin had returned to her face not only because of that thought but also because Shian had become flustered at her friend's words. "I know…I won't have much time to clean a lot myself anymore. But it's such a weird notion." Mai nodded. "Agreed. But we will get used to it. Tell me what room you chose later, okay?"  
By now they had reached the palace again and entered the kitchens through the backdoor. They put their bags down near the pantries and allowed themselves to breath for a moment. Mai grimaced. "Now to put it all away. But you should be going, picking out your room and moving your countless possessions."  
She winked, causing Shian to smile. "Thank you. I will hurry and be back as soon as possible!" She grabbed her new clothes out of her bag and then left the kitchen with the bundle pressed against her chest, earning her some confused looks on her way out.

She brought her cargo into her room and then took off to find a suitable new home. The prince had talked about one of the two empty general suites but Shian just couldn't imagine herself in such a grand room. They were too big, too official, too…much.  
But she didn't know where else to start so now she was standing in the eastern wing in front of one of the unused doors, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. To her right laid the chamber of the general that had hit her weeks prior and she really was not too keen on repeating that encounter.  
She had risen in ranks now but she doubted that he cared – or would even believe her if he caught her in one of the rooms. Reluctantly she pressed the door open and entered.

White sheets were draped over most items of furniture to hinder the dust from settling on them and it gave the room an almost eerie atmosphere. Shian wandered around the place, trying to imagine herself living in it. She peaked under the sheets at the dark wood and sat on the bed just to test the feeling.  
It wasn't a good one, she felt lost simply sitting there and looking around. With a sigh Shian left the room again. She doubted the other one would be any different but what other choice was there?

Said choice offered itself in the form of the first prince of the Kou Empire.  
Kouen, who supposedly just returned from one of his many meetings, spotted her standing forlorn in the corridor and approached. "You look rather unhappy given what I heard from my brother this morning."  
Shian flinched in surprise and then turned to him, just to bow deeply a second later.

"Good morning, My Lord. I'm not unhappy, I'm just…uncertain. Lord Koumei told me I would have to move to a more appropriate room but the ones here in the eastern wing are a little bit overwhelming."  
She had tried to avoid speaking negatively about them but Kouen saw right through her.  
"So now you try to decide between the lesser evil? Don't bother, all rooms here are designed the same way."  
He stared at the bowing figure before him for a few seconds. It was not like he would go out of his way to make her feel better but if it was within his direct reach – which it was – there was no reason not to.

"Come."  
He turned around, cape swishing around, and crossed the empty throne room, followed by the now confused maid. He led her to the entrance to the southern wing where the hospital wing sat next to the meeting rooms. He went left and stopped in front of the double doors that led into the infirmary.  
"There are rooms inside for the court physicians and two especially for the acting head. Currently there is only one employed and given that he is quite young and eager at work I doubt it will change in the near future. The chambers are small but still well equipped. I don't see a problem with you moving into it, if you choose to do so."  
Cue to Shian staring at the prince in awe, she didn't expect him to do something so…nice. Hastily she bowed once more, expressing her gratitude. "Thank you so much, My Lord."  
Kouen just muttered in agreement before he went on his merry way again, leaving Shian behind – still confused but happy.

She entered the infirmary and looked around. On the right laid two people in the narrow beds, a young hostler with bandages around his head and a woman Shian didn't know. She didn't look like a servant, the hands over her blanket were small and devoid of any scars or signs of work. At the same time she couldn't have been royalty as the royal family was either treated in one of the extra rooms in the far back or directly in their respective chambers. She turned her head away, not wanting to stare for so long and searched the place for Liang, the young man she knew from her head injury. There he was, sitting at a desk in the back categorizing an array of bottles of varying height.  
She went over to him and he looked up, a smug smile on his face. "Are you planning to make it a habit to show up here?"  
Shaking her head in an attempt to get rid of the incoming redness on her face, Shian returned his smile. "Actually, yes. If everything works out I will be coming here more often."  
Her response threw him off track. "Are you becoming a nurse?", he started rattling through the documents on his desk, "I don't think anyone told me…wait a second…"  
Shian suppressed a giggle, his behavior reminded her of another certain someone who was always knee-deep in papers. "No, I won't be working here. Just living, hopefully. Lord Kouen told me there is a free room I could live in?"  
"Hold your horses! What are you talking about!?"

A couple of minutes later Shian had filled Liang in on her current situation while casually avoiding the whole "illegally doing paperwork" thing. He ordered his documents and got up.  
"Congratulations. While I don't know why you would turn down a home in the eastern wing I am sure you can find a place here. Come, I'll show you."  
The chair made a creaking sound against the floor as he shoved it back and then he entered a narrow passage next to the desk. Behind it was a windowless corridor as slim as the entrance itself, tiled with the same greenish slabs as the infirmary. It stretched far and ended in a door and from what Shian could see, she concluded that the corridor huddled against the entire length of the wing and the door would lead to somewhere next to the grand double doors through which she had entered.  
On the right were a few simple doors – leading to the physicians quarters, Shian assumed.

"Okay, so that is my room", Liang pointed to the door closest to the entrance, "and next to it is the second room that is normally for the other acting head physician. Given that we don't have another one right now that can be your room. And that one", he directed to the door right next to the end of the corridor, "is the bathroom. I suppose you are used to sharing one."  
He winked. Shian nodded, a bit overwhelmed by everything.  
"Well, make yourself at home. One thing though – please don't go through the infirmary every time, the less people walk around the smaller is the risk of infection spreading." And with that he vanished back to his desk again.  
Taking a deep breath, Shian opened the door he had appointed her to. She didn't know what she expected – her chamber in the servants' quarters was already as simple as they come. Indeed, the residence of the head physician was not much bigger and it had – thank goodness – a nice window opposite the door.  
That was the end of the similarities though. Instead of the familiar naked wooden planks the walls were solid and decorated with a large empty frame to her left. Shian stared at it for a couple of seconds, with her new pay maybe she could afford something nice to put in it. Directly under it stood a drawer made of dark wood and a vase on top, as empty as the frame. It would be easier to fill though.  
On the right was a bed with rather comfy looking pillows on it and a nightstand next to it.  
Still in awe Shian entered completely and closed the door behind her. Right next to the door stood a massive wardrobe and the room was rounded off by some light cloth that hung decoratively from the ceiling. Its warm red color gave the whole ensemble an inviting touch.  
It reminded Shian of her home. Without her noticing a single tear made its way down her cheek and dropped of her chin on the wooden floor. She took a deep breath and smiled wistfully. It was a nice room.

She had to walk twice to bring all her possessions into her new home, which included her clothes, her candlestick, the water jug, a few very well-thumbed books and Bert, along with a couple of random items she accumulated over the years. The clothes occupied maybe a fifth off the chunky wardrobe and the books fit on top of the nightstand along with the candlestick and her matches. The water jug found a place at the end of the bed and the rest she put into the drawer.  
That left her with Bert who was placed decoratively next to the vase for the time being.  
That was it and Shian absolutely loved it. Time to get some flowers.

She left the corridor through the door at the end, which led as assumed into the main hallway right next to the double doors. It was a good walk into the garden so with a muted sigh Shian decided to postpone her flower picking plans to after dinner. Speaking of dinner – how would that work in the future? The generals got their food brought to them the same as the royal family, but what about the rest? The maids and the cooks ate in the servant's kitchen but Shian had no idea where the hostlers and physicians and seamstresses and all the others ate. Maybe Hadi knew the answer.  
She directed her steps to the kitchens and entered the maelstrom one lost time. It was late afternoon so everyone was busy preparing the meal and Shian just joined in, snatching a place next to Mai and disemboweling some fresh fish.

Mai was happy to have her friend back and lost no time interrogating her.  
"So, how is it?"  
"I got the room of a head physician in the hospital wing. It is really nice and I still have a big window! Later I want to pick some flowers, do you want to come along?"  
Mai nodded, of course she wanted to. "How come that you ended up there?" "Well…", Shian replied sheepishly, "Lord Kouen saw me lurking around the eastern wing and after some explaining he offered me the place." Whistling through her teeth Mai shook her head. "Shian, Shian, you really twist all the princes around your little finger, don't you?"  
The blood rushed into Shian's cheeks and she denied intently. "Don't keep saying stuff like that! I'm not in love, I'm not pregnant and I don't-" She broke off as she noticed that more and more heads had turned towards them, eager to pick up some of the conversation. Hunching her shoulders in shame, Shian went back to picking apart her fish. Palace staff could be really noisy at times.

Before dinner, Shian approached Hadi in one of the rare moments she wasn't busy shooing around her underlings. "Ma'am? I have a question, because I'm not sure how the whole…eating thing will work from now on."  
Hadi turned towards her, a smile spreading across her face. "Well, if you prefer having your food brought to you – maybe at the same time as the Lord", and there she winked, "then we can surely arrange that. But you are not that high up. If you want to continue eating with us, you are always welcome to do so."

Her smile deepened at Shian's eager nod. "Speaking of which, it is time. Come on." She ushered the former maid into the servants' kitchen along with the others that streamed to their places.  
As she reached her own she found a little surprise waiting for her. On her plate laid a flat package wrapped in brown paper. She looked around in an attempt to find the reason for it being there and caught Kara looking at her. She smiled. "It is tradition to gift the ones that leave us something. You won't be gone totally of course but we figured it was still appropriate. So we all pitched in."  
"Yes, I had to run all the way back to the market!" Mai chimed in, grinning from ear to ear.  
"But how did you even know..?" The grin on her face changed from delighted to embarrassed as she started to play with her hair. "I might have told them…" Shian shook her head but she had to smile. It was a nice gesture that meant a lot to her.  
"Come on, open it!" Nami added, wobbling excitedly in her seat. Shian sat down and carefully unwrapped her present. It was a book. A thin one, books were expensive, but a book nonetheless.  
A tree was sprawled out over its cover and on the branches sat tiny round birds. They had a striking resemblance with Bert and Shian could feel warmth bloom inside her as she stroked over the linen cover.  
"Thank you so much, it's beautiful." She really had some tears of emotion in her eyes and sniffled quietly. "It's a list of a lot of different kinds of birds and how you can recognize them!" Hou explained. "As well as how you can attract them."  
"Yeah", Tian added, a wide grin on her face, "maybe you can find something about pigeons!"  
Shian's meager protests were drowned out by the following laughter and even Hadi smiled to herself.  
They all wanted to make sure that Shian could start her new job with some nice memories.


	12. Chapter 12

Dinner had taken longer than usual but finally Hadi had called them to order and the servants poured back into the kitchen to take care of the dirty dishes and all the other little tasks that were still left to do.  
The mood was exuberant and while Nami and Kara started a little water fight with the dirty tea cups Shian took it upon herself to dry the cleaned dishes. Like that she could observe the others in silence and just enjoy the atmosphere. Her wandering gaze landed on the window – the sky outside had darkened, only a small strip of orange light was still visible over the palace walls.  
It will probably be best if I reschedule my flower picking plans to tomorrow, she thought when Mai appeared in her field of view, an alarmingly innocent look on her face.  
"You're probably going to be so busy tomorrow that we both won't have a chance to do it together, so let's go now! It's not too late."  
Her tone made it clear that complaining would lead exactly nowhere so Shian didn't even try. It was not like she didn't want to head out with her friend and it also gave her an excuse to delay the inevitable conversation about her past.

Mai took the towel out of Shian's hands and then shoved her out of the kitchen, grinning provocative at their confused colleagues. On their way into the garden Mai grabbed her candle out of her room and thusly armed the two left the building. They breathed in the balmy air that was still pleasantly warm – spring was about to come into full bloom. The dirt under their feet was dry and crumbled as they stepped between the vegetable patches to reach the palace walls. The massive stone barrier was covered in moss and the ground in front of it was lined with all kinds of spring flowers. Unlike the organized and cultured flower beds that the gardeners tended, the plants here were fair game and no one would mind if they picked a few.  
In the dim light of the candle and the setting sun Mai found a nice patch of daffodils and Shian cut some of them off with a kitchen knife. A couple of tulips joined the bouquet, followed by a few bluebells and soon Shian had an arm full of pretty flowers.  
They gave off a faint scent of nature and she took a deep breath, savouring the sensation. Happy with their harvest they headed back inside and stopped in front of Mai's door.  
"You will have to tell me everything about your first day at dinner, yeah? Promise!" Smiling lightly about her friends enthusiasm Shian nodded. "I promise."

Her way back to the hospital wing was shrouded in thoughts. It was late but Koumei always stayed up past reasonable hours anyway. Should she just get it over with..? She entered her room and placed the flowers carefully on the drawer so she could fill the vase with water from her jug. Then she arranged them neatly inside.  
She untied her apron and folded it sloppily before putting it on the drawer. A few lit candles later the room seemed more lived in and homely.  
Her eyes wandered around the room, drinking it all in again. The red curtains, the expensive dark bedspread, the massive wardrobe. It was so similar to her old home and yet so different.  
Hey mom, she though with a sad smile, can you see me? I'm back on my feet. I didn't give up. Are you proud of me?

She slumped down on her bed and buried her face in her hands. Moments later the tears started springing up from her eyes, flowing through her fingers and splashing on the wood beneath her feet. Shian prided herself on staying strong most of the time but now she felt justified in letting go. Her sobs started getting louder – until they came to an abrupt halt as she heard someone knocking on the door.  
I must have disturbed Liang, she thought and sniffled.  
"Y-yes, come in."  
Unceremoniously she misused her skirt as a makeshift tissue and so she only heard the door open, rather than seeing it.

"Excuse me, am I disrupting?"  
That was not the voice she had been expecting. Peeking up over her skirt she confirmed – instead of the straight light hair of her new neighbour she saw the crimson thatch of Koumei.  
"Y-your Highness!" Hastily she rose, only to sink into a curtsy right after, fixating the floor.  
A hand slid into her field of view, holding a silken handkerchief. "Should I come back later?"  
She shook her head, timidly grabbing the handkerchief to dab the rest of her tears from her cheeks. "Thank you", she mumbled. "There is no need for you to leave. What can I do for you, My Lord?"  
When she heard the door closing she finally looked up at the prince. "I was just curious where you ended up. Kouen told me he accommodated you in here but I didn't know what the room looked like. Is it to your liking?"  
Shian nodded and the smile returned to her face. "I like it. It is more my scale than the ones in the eastern wing. And it's cosy!"  
A few moments of silence followed before Koumei answered: "I'm glad we could solve it so easily. May I sit down?" He pointed to her bed.

Shian hurried to make room for him and stepped back until she reached the wall with the window.  
"Of course, My Lord."  
He sat down and leaned back, letting his view wander around the room, stopping briefly on the empty frame. He seemed so relaxed and…artless that Shian couldn't help but stare at him in wonder. It was weird to see the second prince of the Kou Empire fit in so seamlessly into her room.  
"Did you find something on the market that you liked?"

The question hit a nerve and she hurried to the drawer where she took out the leather pouch with the remaining coins in it. Turning back towards him she bent down and offered him the bag on the palms of her hands.  
"Yes I did. Here's your change. I'm sorry that I didn't return it sooner."  
Koumei sighed. What did he expect? He took the pouch and put it next to him on the bed.  
"Will you show me?"  
He had asked without thinking and now he scolded himself for it. They were still prince and servant, not…friends. Unfortunately.  
And still, his question had made her face light up, both with happiness and embarrassment. He cleared his throat.  
"Just so I can, you know, determine if it is appropriate or not."  
The joy in her eyes went away as if he had blown out a candle and he cursed silently.

Shian suppressed a sigh. Of course he wouldn't want to see her just for her own sake, how arrogant of her to assume something like that. But she couldn't turn down a request from her superior. She walked over to the wardrobe and took out the bindle of cloth she had folded so carefully. Then she hesitated.  
"Should…should I put it on..?" A smile darted over his face and he nodded. "If you want to."

A few seconds passed by in which her face grew redder and redder.  
"My Lord?", she finally asked coyly, "would you please look away while I change?" Blinking in surprise Koumei realized what she had asked and soon his skin colour matched hers.  
"Yes, of course." And with that he closed his eyes. Shian watched him a moment, making sure he wouldn't peek and then started to undress, back turned to him. Her clothes landed on the drawer next to her apron.

The fabric felt strange as she put it on, it was so much smoother than her rough work clothes. It flowed around her and the feeling made her memories act back up. She gulped back another sob and hastily finished putting on her new garments.  
Then she turned back to her visitor.  
"I'm finished", she mumbled and Koumei opened his eyes, letting them wander up and down her figure. Shian shifted uncomfortably under his piercing gaze, feeling naked despite the cloth over her skin.  
"Is…is it alright?", she dared to ask after a few moments of silence.  
"It is."  
His voice sounded somewhat husky, making her doubt the trueness of his words. Without noticing her fingers tensed, digging into the bright fabric, and within seconds Shian was crying again. She cursed herself silently – she had lost her composure so many times in front of him, he must have deemed her an absolute cry-baby by now.  
Although she hated that fact, there was nothing she could do about it in the moment, so she just stood there, snivelling and weeping in an unsuccessful attempt to hide her tears.  
Koumei sighed, not sure what it was this time. He was feeling a mixture of annoyance and concern by now.  
"Shian? What is wrong?" Apparently his question startled her because her sobs turned into a sudden hiccup and she tried to dry her face with the handkerchief he gave her. Failing by the way, because her tears just kept coming.

All of the sudden Koumei had his younger brother in front of his mind's eye, grinning and giving stupid relationship advice.  
"You look very pretty" he finally mumbled, making her look up in surprise.  
"Thank you", she replied and managed to calm down at last. She blew her nose and let out a breathy sigh.  
"I'm sorry, I owe you an explanation. Both this room and this dress remind me of my past and of my family. This is why I am a little bit on edge this evening."  
A little bit, don't make me laugh, Koumei thought but wisely decided not to tell her. "It's alright", he said simply and then patted the bed beside him. "Come sit down with me, would you?"  
Shian nodded but then hesitated. "May I change back first? I'm afraid of dirtying it." The prince lifted an eyebrow in amusement. "What exactly do you think we will be doing on that bed?"

He might just as well have told her to do a strip-tease right then and there the way her face lit up red. " !", she stuttered, "I just meant…the tears…"  
"I was just joking. Do what makes you feel the most at ease", he reassured her and placed his hand pointedly over his eyes.

Inside Shian simmered a whole stew of emotions. She was jumpy because of the nostalgia but there was also a whole other fight in her mind. On the one hand she wanted to bail or – even better but totally unrealistic – kick him out.  
On the other she…enjoyed herself. A lot.  
While waltzing the thoughts around inside her head she had undressed and refolded the clothes. Now they were back in the wardrobe and Shian was standing there, naked except for her undergarments.  
"My Lord?", she asked, turning back towards him, "would…would it be considered impolite if I put on my nightgown? I really am not sure…"  
Surprised by her question Koumei peeked up over his hand, only to find himself speechless at the sight of her barely clad figure.  
He was surprised at himself – due to him being a prince he had had the obligatory experiences with some concubines but none of them evoked such intense feelings of admiration and…arousal?  
He noticed he was staring at her and hastily covered his eyes again. "I'm actually not sure myself. But I don't think etiquette is of high priority right now, it's just the two of us. Like I said – whatever makes you comfortable."  
Shian nodded, what he of course couldn't see, and donned her robe. It was thin but for now, it felt right to her. Maybe because it was night time and she was in the comfort of her own four walls.  
"Or maybe", teased the little devil on her shoulder, "because you have some…lewd thoughts, my dear?" "Oh shut up!" Shian told him.  
"Excuse me!?" The piqued voice of the prince ripped her out of her world of thought. He still didn't look at her but clearly thought she was telling him to shut it. Shian let out a small squeak.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean you, My Lord! I was…thinking." Sighing in both relief and delight he nodded. It wasn't difficult for him to believe her, given that his own mind was taunting him with his feelings for a commoner.

When the bed sank in next to him Koumei lowered his hand and looked to his side. Shian had sat down relatively close – the bed wasn't big – and had interlaced her fingers in her lap. Her body language conveyed coyness but she didn't seem so awkward anymore.  
"You can guess the reason why I'm still here, right?" As a response she just nodded, sighing quietly. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it now but you can't postpone it forever Shian."  
His voice was gentle rather than demanding and Shian plucked up her courage.  
"I will tell you, but…I apologize in advance. I will probably start bawling my eyes out three minutes in."  
Koumei couldn't help but grin. "Oh yeah, because that will be a totally new experience for me."  
"My Lord…are you teasing me?" "No clue how you got that idea", he replied dry-wittedly, making her chuckle slightly.  
"No fair!" She crossed her arms and pouted. "Now, now, no need to sulk", he said and patted her head jokingly, "you'll get wrinkles."  
That comment made her laugh. "Who told you that old wives' tale?"  
Now it was Koumei's turn to sulk. "Kouha. He thinks it's appropriate to comment on my appearance every time we meet, just because he has all the time in the world for his elaborate beauty routine."  
Shian nodded understandingly, Koumei's at times unkempt look was often subject of palace chatter. Not that she would ever tell him that.  
"You really do look sickly most of the time but that is to be expected by such a workload." Her voice grew quieter, "I think you have really pretty eyes."  
"Thanks", he laughed, "but that compliment doesn't really work when your whole family shares an eye colour."  
"That's not true!", she piped up, a lively sparkle in her eyes. "See, Lord Kouen has watermelon coloured eyes while Lord Kouha's eye colour is more like a hot pink. And Lady Kougyoku's eyes are more of a taffy colour. And yours are a bright fuchsia tone. And-"  
She was cut off by Koumei waving his hand in front of her, the other pressed on his mouth to stifle his laughter.  
"I'm a man Shian, for me there is pink and then there is red. That's about it."  
Smiling shyly she replied: "I'm sure your brother would be opposed to you contributing to such a classic stereotype."  
"I don't think Kouen knows any more colours than me to be honest, much less something like fuchsia. Or watermelon." "Oh you know who I mean!" She slapped him lightly on the arm and giggled.

Koumei smiled contently as he watched her laughing cheerfully to herself. He liked being near her, her closeness always made him forget about his work pressure. He wanted to see her happy.  
All the more he hesitated to ask her about her past again. It would certainly take a toll on her, and was it really that important? He had just decided to tell her he changed his mind when she took a relieved breath and straightened her back.  
She smiled at him warmly and suddenly Koumei understood the famous saying about the butterflies – he could feel them doing backflips in his stomach.  
"My Lord? Would it be alright to-" "not talk about your past right now and just savour the moment? Totally."

Great. That sentence was meant to remain in his brain but somehow his vocal chords had acted on their own. Koumei slapped his hand against his forehead, earning him a rather concerned look from his new assistant. He shook his head and grinned sheepishly.  
"If that is not what you wanted to say I apologize."  
"I actually wanted to ask if I could open the window for a moment to let in some air." She returned his grin equally as embarrassed. "But I like your version a lot more."  
Koumei cleared his throat: "How about both?"

Shian chuckled to herself and got up to open the window a bit. If she hoisted it up too much the room would be filled with insects but like that only the clear nightly air would enter.  
She returned to her place on the bed and yawned. It was nice to spend time with the prince like she would do with a friend but she grew more tired by the second. Without even noticing she slumped to the side until she hit something warm and soft. What that something might be was lost on her sleepy brain and she was asleep before the realization hit her.

Staring down at the sleeping woman Koumei wondered what went on inside her head. On the one hand she was scared out of her mind to do something wrong and on the other she fell asleep against his shoulder, without a care in the world.  
Not that he minded, he was quite happy that apparently she felt secure enough around him by now. Carefully he shifted around and gave her a little nudge so she tilted backwards, right against his outstretched arm. Quite a bit of maneuvering was necessary but finally she rested calmly on the bed.  
On top of the blanket.  
Great.

Koumei had no idea how he could get her under the blanket without waking her but he really didn't want to just leave her like that. In the end he slipped out of his outer garment and spread it over her. That proved to be a good idea as Shian instantly started to snuggle into the smooth fabric and sighed happily in her sleep.  
He smiled to himself and turned to close the window and extinguish the flames. Now we're even, he thought and then he headed out, leaving her to her dreams.

When Shian woke up the next day she was confused for a moment. Why was the ceiling covered in red silk? Why felt the sheet under her so much softer than usual? And why for heaven's sake was she covered in the robes of the second prince of the Kou Empire!?  
By the time her mind arrived at the last question she was wide awake as the memories came back to her. She fell asleep against Koumei. And he had tucked her in with his own clothes.  
A wave of embarrassment hit her causing her to bury her head in her hands. But although she could already feel her cheeks grow hot she laughed, a relieved and happy laugh.  
What a nice gesture of him.  
Shian rolled onto her side and peeked out the window to look for the sun. It had just begun to rise, signalling her that it was rather early, even a bit earlier than her usual wake-up time.  
She decided to start her day anyway and slid out of the bed. A quick cat bath later Shian donned her maid uniform minus the apron and headed out. The way was shorter than what she was used to and she stood in front of Koumei's office door in no time.  
Taking a deep breath she straightened her skirt and knocked.  
"Come in". She was not at all surprised when she heard Koumei answer – of course he would already be working. Did he even sleep at all?  
Opening the door a small gap she slid in, only to pause halfway in . Something had changed in the room. A metre away from the left wall stood a desk that definitely hadn't been there the day before. The prince really was fast.  
It was made from the same dark wood as Koumei's, although it seemed a lot smaller. The reason for that could have been the lack of a mess on it though.

The prince sat at his own, looking up from a long scroll and smiled. "Don't stand there all frozen. I can't let you work on the floor, now can I?"  
Shian smirked at his greeting and entered the room fully, bowing before him. "Good morning, My Lord. If I may ask, did you even get any sleep last night?"  
"Do I look like it?"

Shian examined her superior and then shook her head. "I'm sorry, but not at all." Koumei sighed. "Yeah, that's how I feel too. Despite actually going to sleep after I left your room!"  
The comment drove the blood to her cheeks and Shian scraped her foot against the floor. "Speaking of that…I am sorry. I don't know what I was thinking…"  
"I'd say you didn't think anything, given that you were sound asleep."  
The amusement in his voice was clear as day as he answered. "But don't sweat it, I didn't mind too much."  
Exhaling in relief she nodded and then finally went over to her work desk. As she sat down on the padded chair her fingers stroked the surface of the table top as if it were the injured wing of a bird. She traced the grain and Koumei couldn't help but be amazed at her apparent fascination with this particular piece of furniture.  
"Is it really that beautiful?" She looked up and allowed herself a cheeky grin. "It just has been a while since I've seen one without a huge ink stain on it."  
"Touché."

Koumei had handed her a stack of paper so heavy that Shian almost dropped it upon receiving it. It would be her first official patch of work as his assistant and she took it quite seriously, so the both of them had been quietly working for a while now. She was surprised at herself that she didn't have to ask him a question yet or look something up but she also suspected him of giving her something easy for now.  
While the morning sun rose outside and lit up the sky little by little only the sound of scratching quills and rustling papers accompanied the two. It was a busy but pleasant atmosphere and Koumei noted with benignity how fast her pile of documents was shrinking.

A little bit less than two hours went by before something else could be heard – a knock. They looked up simultaneously and Shian bathed in the weird new feeling of being the one to answer and not the one to rap.  
She glanced briefly at Koumei and then asked the unknown visitor to enter. The door swung open, revealing Kara who carefully balanced two trays in her hands. She gave Shian a shy smile and then curtsied in front of the prince.  
"Good morning, My Lord. I brought breakfast if you wish to take it now."  
He nodded and clumsily shoved his work to the side to make way for the tray which Kara set down with caution. The hearty scent of eggs and jianbing guozi rose up from it and Shian could feel her stomach grumble in pleasant anticipation.

Kara put down the second tray on her own desk and winked at her. A second later Shian could see why – someone (and she had a really good guess who it had been) had cut her fried egg roughly in the shape of a heart, with the egg yolk in the middle. "I hope it will be to your liking", Kara added overly innocent and then she waltzed out the door.  
A small laugh escaped Shian and she put her hand in front of her mouth to stifle it, causing Koumei to raise an eyebrow. Without missing a beat she stabbed her chopsticks into the yolk so it flowed out and distorted the heart-shape.  
"Nothing, My Lord. Just a hoax from the kitchen."  
He nodded and looked down at his own tray, surprise spreading across his face. "So you got a heart too?"

She groaned but had to smile too. "I'm afraid so, yes." Observing his egg from all angles he finally concluded: "I'm simply not going to comment on that."  
With that he dug in and Shian followed his example. She had to admit – it was pretty good, better than the smorgasbord of food they ate in the servant's kitchen.  
Breakfast was over in a matter of minutes and they relaxed for a short break. Koumei broke the silence first.  
"So, are you feeling comfortable enough to tell me now? It seems like a good time now." Taking a deep breath Shian nodded.  
"I think so, yes. Where should I start?"  
"How about at the beginning?"


	13. Chapter 13

Shian supressed a sigh. The beginning? That was awfully unspecific; she could hardly start at birth, now could she.  
She shifted around for a bit, trying to find a position that didn't become uncomfortable after a few minutes. Noticing how she tried to procrastinate the matter she pulled herself together and started talking.

"My first distinct memory is the pattern light paints on the ground when it falls through leaves. I think I was sitting behind the house, in the lap of my mother. It must have been summer? I just remember that it was warm…"  
Her voice trailed off; her gaze locked on something in the distance. She kept silent for a few seconds and Koumei dared not disturb her. He wanted her to be able to tell him at her own pace.

"Our house – or let me rather call it an estate – overlooked a tiny village. It nestled against a small mountain; some of the early houses had been hammered right into the cold stone. Over time it spread out farther, swallowing a small creek and a good portion of the forest that covered the vicinity. We were maybe a thousand people and everyone knew each other. It was the type of village where there were no secrets, you know?"

A small smile passed over Shian's face. Mai would have loved living there.  
"One would always know everything about all the petty little scandals, about stolen hens and oh so secret relationships. About arguments between families and which people recently stopped by the local inn. And there were quite a few people, believe me.  
It is located not too far from here, two hours on a horse, a bit longer in a carriage. The close proximity to the capital fuelled trades, so we had a lot of merchants passing through or taking one last rest."  
She took a deep breath and her cheeks took on a slight rose tint, even though Koumei couldn't possibly know why.  
"So naturally when my ancestors were gifted with a part of the land up on the hill, they started a business."

A few moments of silence passed between them and Shian half hoped that Koumei wouldn't be asking at all. But of course he did, curiosity in his voice and eyes.  
"Who gifted it to them?"  
Shian fumbled with her dress, not looking him in the eyes. "The former Emperor did. Way before the Kou Empire became what it is now, as far as I know. It was…a reward; for pledging their loyalty to them. And even though both country and ruler have changed since then, the property has stayed ours until toda- until recently."

There it was again, the silence, but this time it sounded deafening as the gears started to turn in Koumei's brain. And one after another, the pieces clicked into place and soon enough the prince stared at his underling, the former maid, with utter disbelief.  
"Wait. So what you're telling me is that you are an aristocrat!? All this time you have worked here and you have actually been a noble?"  
He shook his head.  
"Why!?"

So much for letting her open up in her own pace.  
An aristocrat being a maid actually was not that big of a deal, but usually they were servants of either the royal family or the high ranking officers. All of the princesses personal attendants were noble too. But one of them working as a simple cleaning maid? He was pretty sure that this was unheard of. Not necessarily forbidden or something but nonetheless a reason for surprise.  
He didn't know how long he had just stared of into space but it couldn't have been long – Shian still sat in her chair as if he had hit her with his words. Embarrassed he cleared his throat.  
"Please forgive me. It is unusual, but of course it doesn't change anything. And I'm sure my 'why' will be answered soon enough."  
Shian nodded weakly. His words had hit her quite a bit – the status she had lost still loomed over her head like a dark cloud from time to time.

"They started farming silk. It begun small of course, just one little shed full of racks filled to the brim with silkworms. It didn't take long though for it all to explode. With all the merchants coming through business boomed. One shack became two, then three, then ten. Fields full of pale silk in the summer.

When my mother married my father the money they gained from the sales was already enough to grant all of us a quite comfortable life. Not to mention the inheritance we had in case things went south. But for the first fifteen years of my life it didn't."  
A shy smile crept onto her lips. "I still consider myself very lucky, being born into such a stable and carefree situation. And I was lucky that my parents loved me so much. My mother was such a gentle soul and I loved those trips we took into nature. She would show me the woods around the estate and she would take me out into the fields. I began early to help with the harvest.  
With time the occasions where we went exploring became rarer and rarer though. Mom always had a poor constitution and after I was born it didn't get any better. Way too soon she couldn't leave the bed on her own anymore.  
And still, she kept on working. A business requires a huge amount of paperwork, as you and I both know all too well. I still remember the yellow bed sheets, covered with countless papers and documents. Her skin was almost as pale as the pages she wrote on."  
Shian paused for a moment, lost in thought. She saw the imagine in front of her so vividly, she almost stretched out her hand to touch her mother's arm.  
Almost.

"My parents tried to have children for a long time. But mother's poor physique made it difficult and I think my father had some problems too. So they were overjoyed to have me; and in the end I stayed an only-child. Being a woman, it would have been only a matter of time until I would have to marry someone to inherit the farm and the fortune. But my parents married out of love and they wanted me to have that same possibility. And they certainly didn't want me to be the marionette of some guy only out for money."

Koumei had a good idea where her story would lead next. He glanced over to the stack of finished documents on her desk. With her parents being businesspeople it made sense how she was able to go through them the way she did. A country was in a lot of ways just a giant concern.

"My mother taught me how to manage myself and the company. Financial and project management, marketing, accounting. Basic math too of course, although I could never stand it. I would sit next to her on the bed, the abacus on her knees. And at night we would count the stars in the sky and the constellations on the firmament."

Her voice cracked at the last words and she had to halt again, this time to compose herself. Feeling the tears well up in her eyes, Shian put her hands against her face and took a deep breath to calm herself. She wanted to get as far as she could without breaking down.

"Father took me out onto the fields with all the workers after my mother wasn't able to do so anymore. I would ride on his shoulders and reach the highest places. From him and the employees I learned all the practical aspects of the job. As a noble daughter I was both sheltered and spoiled despite all those studies. It was all just theory and I hadn't left the village even once up until this point."

Both fascinated and worried, Koumei had watched her body language intently. Until now she had been tense, yes, but more in the way a student was standing in front of his strict teacher. Now she had slumped together, her fingers entangled in her lap. She looked as if she tried to protect herself against something, as if she was bracing herself for pain. Koumei had the feeling that they were approaching the reason why she never talked about her past.

"I had turned fifteen three weeks before the night I lost it all. My parents had gifted me a brass telescope. They were so expensive because of the precisely cut lenses and the metal casing. I was so happy about it, I didn't sleep the whole night just to look at the stars.  
It was early morning I think, or very late at night. The noise of something breaking woke me up. It sounded big, a scary sound that shook me to my core. It still haunts my dreams to this day.  
I still don't know what exactly broke, but I suspect it was part of the roof or a bearing pillar. After the burst had died down I could hear the rest. The cackling of fire and the cracking of the clay tiles in the heat. And the screaming. Oh god, the screaming!"

She had reached her limit. Shian slapped her hands in front of her face again and started sobbing. Her hands muffled her cries as she desperately tried to regain her composure and something inside Koumei broke at the sight.  
He could barely understand her as she continued to speak through her tears.

"I remember the sound and the smell of the smoke in vivid detail. But everything else is so blurry and vague. I know that I tried to get out of the door, but I couldn't. The flames had already spread through the doorframe and it ate the walls in mere seconds. I fled through the window instead. You remember at the beginning when I talked about the sun shining through the leaves? My window led out onto that very yard. But there was no grass under my window, just a paved path the servants used to get from the well to the kitchen. And in my dazed panic I lost my balance and fell, rather than climb.  
I hit my head on the stones, and then…I don't know. I recall pain and vertigo and I felt so sick. I laid there for what felt like an eternity."

Her sobs had died down now but for some reason Koumei didn't like this situation any better. She had laid her hands down into her lap again and stared onto the blank surface of the desk. All energy had left her body and her eyes were empty and frozen. Her mind seemed far away, but whether it was in her past or had fled to somewhere safe, Koumei couldn't tell.

"When I came to again the sun had already risen. But the day was dim nonetheless, the light had no chance against the thick layer of smoke that covered the place I had called home. Even I was grey when I finally stood up; the ash laid over me like a thick blanket of destruction. I looked around, trying to find something in my colourless surroundings. But the fire was dead. And so was my family. And most of the servants."

Her voice had turned hoarse and quiet and eventually she stopped talking completely, just an empty shell of a person. She didn't seem to be able to continue for the moment and after a moment of hesitation Koumei rose from his seat. He took his chair and marched over to her, before plopping it down next to the desk. His concern grew as he didn't receive a response. Carefully he slid his fingers between hers, still entangled in her lap, and closed his hand around hers, giving it what he hoped to be a reassuring squeeze.  
Finally there was a reaction as Shian slowly turned her head towards him, surprise in her eyes. With a sheepish smile Koumei shrugged, he didn't know himself what kind of situation they had found themselves in. He just knew that it was inappropriate and that he didn't care.

"Thank you", Shian whispered. The warm touch of his skin against hers had calmed her down a bit and grounded her in the here and now again.

For a moment the two of them sat together in harmony, just silently enjoying each other's company. Koumei listened to her quiet breathing, still a bit ragged from her outburst. She had closed her eyes and leaned back against the chair and suddenly he was scared about what else she had to tell. She had been stripped bare just in one fateful night, and that had been seven years ago.  
The calm atmosphere broke when Shian suddenly remembered her rank and she practically jerked away from Koumei's touch. Not that she had found it uncomfortable all of the sudden; she simply put up the invisible barrier again that stood between them.  
Slightly surprised Koumei pulled his hand back to himself and cleared his throat quietly. An embarrassed silence fell over the two of them, lasting a few awfully long seconds.  
Finally Shian relaxed again and after one unsuccessful attempt at speaking – the tears still lingered in the back of her throat – she continued her story.

"I wondered through what had been my home for hours. Turning over everything that had already cooled off I tried to find something, anything of value. But there was nothing left, all I could see where ashen shreds of fabric and charred pieces of wood. The fire had taken over the fields and the sheds too.  
When I saw the bronze puddle of molten metal on the ground I couldn't take it anymore. I took off into the village, carrying nothing but the clothes on my body. The townspeople where whispering, with hushed voices, about raiders and thieves. They had taken everything they could find and they had murdered everyone in their way. That's why I couldn't find anything. In the end I am really glad I didn't search further, really. It would have been only a matter of time before-"

Her voice cracked again and she kept quiet a second before continuing.  
"Before I would have seen what remained of my family and my friends."

"The people looked at me with barely hidden pity but they all turned away. And I didn't ask for help. So I took what little knowledge I had and made my way to the capital, only a stolen map to guide my way. I followed the river, five hours, ten hours. When I arrived I was exhausted and bleeding and emotionally numb. I don't think I could even fully process what had happened. My only plan was to put my skills to use and work, starting a new live then and there."

A bitter smile darted over her face, Koumei could see the disdain in her eyes. Disdain for her younger self, who so innocently believed it would be that easy.

"I was fifteen, dirty and hurt, without any prove of the talents I claimed to have. No one would employ me, obviously."

There it was again, the trembling in her hands and the tensing in her body. That fear Koumei had felt before grew and he almost asked her to stop.  
But then she continued and he had to lean forward to even catch her voice.

"After days of barely eating anything, I grew desperate. I had nothing! Nothing…except my body."  
Her voice had become nothing more than a low whisper at that point, recoiling under the words like a snail into its shell.  
"So I sold it. I started to lurk around the upper class brothels, drawing in all the men looking for a cheap alternative not under the protection of a procurer. I was young and helpless and I think that was enough for a lot of them."

Shian looked up hesitantly, so scared of the reaction she would get from the person she admired so much. Hastily she rushed to her own defense: "I am not proud of it! And I disliked every minute of it but it gave me the money I needed to survive. Certainly not enough to get away from the streets, but I could buy food and some clothes from the market. At the time I didn't know what else to do-!"  
She stopped abruptly when Koumei put a hand on her shoulder. Feeling the contact she flinched in fearful anticipation, but his touch was gentle and soft.  
"Doing everything you can to survive is nothing to be ashamed of", he said, his voice hushed as if he were afraid of upsetting her more. "It is horrible that you had to resort to such means against your will but in of itself there is nothing wrong with the oldest profession there is. So don't be afraid of judgement."

Relaxing like a balloon losing its air Shian slumped down in her chair. His words meant a lot to her, even though she couldn't really believe them. Too long had she beaten herself up about it, no matter how often she told herself that it had been her only possibility at the time. For a moment she met his eyes and nodded half-heartedly.

"Not being under the protection of the law is an open invitation for all types of people to try and take advantage of one. I mostly just resorted to running if someone was too…keen, but sometimes I had to fight too. I can pack a mean punch if I have to, although that sometimes is just not enough. That was the case when Lord Kouha found me.  
I was really low on money once more so I wasn't exactly picky who I got with, as long as they paid me. The night was dark and cold and I had just met a man in a particularly isolated alley. What I didn't realise at first was how drunk he was.  
His movements were agitated and his grip was so tight, I got scared the moment he laid his hands on me. I tried to get out, mumbling useless excuses, but to no use. Angry about my refusal to offer him service he grabbed the nearest bottle and the next thing I knew was that I was laying on the ground, a warm liquid dripping from my forehead."

Unconsciously her hand had wandered up to her temple, where her black bangs covered up her scar meticulously.  
"I don't know if he would have killed me or not but thankfully it didn't come to that. I was too drowsy to catch everything in detail but I think I remember him crashing down next to me. And then I was in someone's arms, being carried off to the palace. The rest-"

She paused startled as something moved in front of her. Koumei had raised his hand and gently brushed hers away, together with her straight black hair. With her strands now tucked away behind her ear, the raised patch of skin laid visible and in a first reflex she tried to cover it up again – only for her hand to be stopped by the prince's arm.  
"Let me see", he mumbled, his thumb brushing against the sensitive tissue. It sent shivers down her spine and Shian bit her lower lip to keep from making any noise.  
They were really close by now and she couldn't help but taking in all the details that offered themselves to her – the intense colour of his eyes, his dark lashes, the imperfections in his skin. Releasing his gaze from her temple he returned her look and Shian held her breath automatically. What was she even doing there!?  
Her confused thoughts were silenced instantly as he leaned in even closer and she could feel his breath on her skin. She was about to close her eyes, when –

Somebody knocked on the door, tearing both of them out of the moment. Koumei groaned silently. _Knock-blocked,_ he thought to himself and rolled his eyes.  
He straightened his back again and looked at his assistant. Still sitting in the chair, she stared at him with wide eyes and slightly parted lips and her cheeks as red as his hair. He couldn't help but smile at the sight and held a finger to his lips with a cheeky grin – presenting himself so much more confident than how he was really feeling. Then he cleared his throat-  
"Yes?"

The door creaked open, revealing the slender figure of Koumei's younger brother in the doorframe. Kouha took a look at his older sibling sitting at the unfamiliar table, the servant who matched a ripe tomato and started to grin from ear to ear. Slightly giggling he entered the room.  
"Meimei, father wants to see you. Something about your new…partner."  
He stretched the last word in an exaggerating manner, making Koumei sigh. Sometimes Kouha really didn't know when it was not appropriate to drop his manners. He didn't want to scold him now though so he simply nodded and got up. "Shian, you know what to do. If you have problems just continue with something else, we will look over it later together."  
He didn't wait for an answer and left the room. It seemed a bit rude, especially after what just happened but his façade was crumbling. Following his lead Kouha closed the door, leaving Shian behind with her thoughts.

Koumei was confused. Sure, he had acted as if nothing was wrong in front of Shian but in reality he had no idea what he just did. Or rather, _why_ he did what he did. The two of them had crossed increasingly more boundaries since the moment they met (or rather from the moment he had noticed her) but what just happened had been different. From the second he had touched her face his body had acted on his own to the point where he…there was just no beating around the bush here. He had tried to kiss her. But why?  
To be honest he probably knew the answer but preferred to just flat out ignore it to stay in his state of confusion.

"For someone so intelligent you look really dumbfounded right now."  
The voice of his brother broke through his thoughts and he turned to look at him.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Aww, come on! Are you really meaning to tell me that nothing happened before I knocked?" His grin had returned to his face and Koumei sighed. As slow-witted as he could be, Kouha had too good of an intuition when it came to matters of the heart. Not that he admitted that his heart was involved or anything.  
"Yes, I do. Nothing happened. We were talking about paperwork", he finally answered, endeavoured to keep a straight face.  
"And that's why you sat next to her with your knees touching. Sure."  
The sarcasm was almost graspable.

"They weren't touching", Koumei mumbled, earning himself an amused laugh. "That's not the point and you know it!"  
Although he still sounded teasing, Kouha's expression had softened.  
"I'm happy you found someone you like that way. I really am."  
"Kouha…even if I do, _hypothetically_ , lo- like her, there is no way for that to work. I am a prince and she is a servant. End of story!"  
Shaking his head Koumei made clear that the conversation was over and even though Kouha sighed dramatically, he dropped the topic. There was no use in continuing to pester him now.

Back in Koumei's office, Shian was dealing with similar problems. Not too similar though – she had reluctantly agreed to her own feelings some time ago after all. What she was doing now was trying to decipher her superior's doings. The way he had reassured her during her story and how he had touched her– everything that happened left her in a daze. And then there was the occurrence right at the end. No matter how much she turned it around in her mind, it still seemed to her like he wanted to kiss her, which opened a whole other can of worms.  
Was it an accident? Maybe he just wanted to make a move on her to hook up with her? Did she even interpret it correctly? Or did he maybe…have…feelings for her?  
That last thought lingered in the back of her head, making her all giggly and happy. But although there was nothing she wanted to do more than to indulge in it, she pushed the thought aside. Why would he feel something like this for her? And even if he did, there was just no winning with their difference in status. She deemed it better to try and ignore what happened, for her own well-being.  
And what better way to distract a love-sick brain than some brain-teasers?  
Shian sighed to herself and drowned herself in her work again.  
There was still a lot to do.

Hours later they were both sitting at their respective desks again and no word had been uttered about what happened prior. Much to Shian's dismay as she'd really liked to know his intentions but she simply didn't dare to ask.  
So they were just working quietly until Shian put down her quill. She stretched to loosen her stiff muscles and cast a glance out the window. It was still bright out but the sky was already tinged in the slight orange that announced twilight.  
"My Lord?", she asked. "I think I finished with what you assigned me."  
Looking up from his own work Koumei looked up and nodded. "Very well. I will look over it during dinner. For today you'll be dismissed then."  
"Speaking of dinner – I decided to take my breakfast with you here if that is alright. But I will continue to eat dinner in the servants' kitchen." He nodded once more, giving his consent. "That sounds reasonable enough to me."

Before her next words, Shian hesitated. "Are you sure I am already finished? I can return after dinner to continue." A smile crept onto the prince's lips. "I appreciate the offer but it really won't be necessary. I myself will not be working after dinner either."  
Surprised by his words she paused but in the end she didn't ask. It was none of her business, she assumed and got up.  
"Then I will see you tomorrow morning, My Lord", she said with a bow, "I hope you'll have a pleasant night."  
And with that she left the room. They had fallen back into their usual respectful distance and although it provided normality Shian wondered if she did something wrong. But he had been the one to approach her and not the other way around.

While fighting back the worry in her mind Shian had made her way over to the kitchens. There was still buzzing activity inside but the trays that were being arranged signalled her that it was almost dinnertime both for royals and servants.  
She wound through the maids and cooks and found herself a quiet spot next to the entrance to the servants' kitchen. The windows were open and the mild evening air breezed through the room, distributing the scent of roasted vegetables and fried meat.  
It made her stomach grumble, neither Koumei nor she had eaten anything since breakfast. Or drunken anything for that matter.  
She grabbed a jar from the shelf in the dining room and poured herself some water before sitting down on the still empty bench. Sipping on her drink she fought down the feeling of uselessness – she was not doing anything while the others were working after all.  
Finally she couldn't take it anymore, chugged down the rest of the water and returned to the main area. No one paid her too much attention so she simply snatched a rug from the drying rack and started to dry off the dripping dishes someone else had left next to the tub.  
It was not the most demanding task and she used the time to calm down a bit. All the different dates and formulas and locations still swirled inside her head so just shutting off her brain and rubbing plates on autopilot was a pleasant relief.  
Soon the rug was too wet to take in any more liquid and just out of habit she grabbed her skirt to continue. Only to find her apron gone, of course, and the thin fabric of her dress soaked as well. She sighed and stroked the wet spot in her lap – truly an unfortunate place for that kind of mishap.

As if she had just waited for her entrance, Mai wiggled her way through her peers and stopped next to Shian, a cheeky grin on her face as she spotted the darkness on Shian's clothes.  
"I mean, I knew you liked the prince, but _that_ much?"  
She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, causing Shian to groan and hide her face in embarrassment.  
Giggling, Mai grabbed her friend's wrists and freed her face again. "I'm only teasing you, you know that!" Her tone had now changed from joking to pure curiosity. "Now don't keep me in suspense forever and tell me. How was your first day!?"  
"Easy there, at least wait for dinner, okay? I'm practically starving!"

An hour later Shian was on her way back to the hospital wing. She felt like a squashed sponge, so many questioned had come her way, not only from Mai but from all her former colleagues. She had answered truthfully but conveniently left out the "almost kissing" part. That was private.

She entered her room and stretched thoroughly. Her window had been open the whole day and the mild smell of honeysuckle lingered inside her room.  
There must be a patch somewhere outside, she thought and peeked out the still unlocked window. Sure enough, directly on a small grass strip under the sill bloomed the pink plants but Shian didn't acknowledge them anymore.  
Her gaze was fixed on the sky where a breath taking full moon had begun to rise and with her window looking out to the east she had a perfect view. For a couple of seconds she just stared at the heavenly body in amazement.

She was torn away from her fascination by a high pitched buzzing noise next to her ear and in one swift motion she pulled her torso back inside and slammed the window shut. No matter how much she adored the moon, she would not be kept awake by one of the devil spawns known as mosquitos!  
With the shutters blocking out the remaining sun and the aspiring moonlight her room had turned dark. After fumbling in the drawer for a moment Shian managed to light her candles and the atmosphere turned from lonely and dark to warm and homely.  
Her view fell upon the rose garment that rested neatly folded on her nightstand. Right, she still had to return it. Half on her way to the western wing, Shian paused. There was really no reason to hurry so much. Koumei had more than one set of clothes and they would be seeing each other first thing in the morning as well.  
And there was one more reason that held her back…

After a quick bath and a few read pages Shian was snuggled up under her blanket and the candles had been extinguished. Everything was silent. But if one were to look more closely they could observe the dim glint of the moonlight in the button eyes of a tiny plush bird. Said bird was not resting in the bed with its mistress as usual but rather staring accusingly at the item that replaced it.  
Shian had wrapped her arms around a bundle of red tinged fabric and judging from the slight smile on her lips, she was dreaming sweet dreams indeed.


	14. Chapter 14

When Shian awoke the next day she felt relaxed and refreshed.  
Which was weird, a look to the window confirmed – it was early in the morning. The sun was just rising and Shian wondered whether Koumei was already up.  
There was only one way to find out and after putting on her clothes and gathering Koumei's robe she was on her way.  
The barren corridors of the palace had grown familiar to her by now, too often had she wandered them before the residents had woken up. As she passed the windows of the corridor she caught a glimpse of the sky that glowed in an iridescent orange.  
It quite matched her mood.

Passing by Koumei's sleeping quarters to reach the office nearly gave her a heart attack.  
The door flew open, revealing the figure of the prince who's mood could only be described as "grey and stormy rainclouds".  
After calming down Shian curtsied and put on a shy smile.  
"Good morning, My Lord. May I ask what's wrong?"  
"You know how there is that certain amount of sleep under which you are just not tired anymore but absolutely wired? Yeah, I just missed it."

Shian's smile grew more genuine as she could imagine quite well what he was talking about. "I thought you took the evening off?"  
"I did. But a certain someone had the idea to get me out of bed for total nonsense so I only slept half as well as I would have liked!"

And with that he made his way over to his office door, not noticing the eyes of his assistant burning in his back.  
She didn't have to think too long to figure out that the certain someone could have only been Kouha. Koumei wouldn't have addressed his older brother or – rukh beware – his father that way. As she was watching him she couldn't help but notice the slight limp in his gait.  
What could it have been that had kept him awake?

Shaking off the questions she quickly returned his robe into his chambers, while withstanding the urge in her fingertips to open the windows and fluff the pillows.  
That was not her task anymore.

After tearing herself from the messy room she joined her superior in the office, where he was already busy sorting through the daily work. He didn't look up as she entered but addressed her while shuffling along:  
"I looked through your documents yesterday evening and I must say, I am content. Some minor details but over all you did a great job."  
Her cheeks reddened with joy and she closed the door maybe a little bit too enthusiastically. "I am relieved to hear you saying that. Thank you, My Lord!" She hopped over to her desk and sat down, still happy because of his words.

A fine smile played around the corners of his mouth.  
"That's why I decided to let you attend a meeting today. Yes, it is only your second day but you will attend only as a recorder and nothing more. And quite frankly-", he stretched, making his joints pop, "I just don't feel like doing it myself. There is a reason why I employed you after all."

With an unpleasant sound Shian's fingernails scraped over the wooden table top. She was not sure if he meant it as an insult or as a compliment but the most important thing was – she was to attend a meeting? Today!? And if she understood correctly – _alone_!?  
"But My Lord! That is impossible. I don't know how to properly minute something like a meeting!"  
"Then go figure it out! You have the whole library at your disposal and with it every protocol ever recorded in this palace! We talked about that."  
His voice sounded much harsher than he intended and he already regretted lashing out. Shian bit her suspiciously trembling lower lip and simply nodded instead of answering. She got up and left the room without another word – she was too afraid that her voice would betray her and reveal to the prince how shaken she was by those simple sentences.

Koumei stared at the locked door and rubbed his hands over his face. He really didn't mean to attack her like that. He was grumpy this morning because of Kouha dragging him out of bed for something – in his opinion – stupid but the young woman was really the last person to deserve his ill temper.  
And while he was in a position to raise his voice at about anyone in the palace (with two exceptions) he hated using this kind of power. And there was of course another reason why he wouldn't want to get on her bad side: which man would want to see the woman he loved hurt? Certainly not the second prince.  
Who casually ignored himself admitting his feelings to himself, by the way.

Gathering her skirt Shian had hurried away from the office, cursing herself for already feeling like curling up somewhere to cry. It was his full right to talk to her any way he pleased and it hadn't been that bad as well.  
Of course he would be agitated at her for defying his orders like that.  
But it still hurt. Him loving her was of course a totally ridiculous thought but she wanted them to be at least on good terms. Maybe she could make it up by acing that protocol.

The heavy double doors creaked as Shian shoved them open and the stale but pleasant smell of old parchment filled her nose. Despite being kept clean by what felt like an army of servants the library was always filled with dust that danced in the sunlight. Shian hadn't been often in here but the few times she actually lingered between the old shelves she enjoyed herself a lot. The presence of all the knowledge even managed to push her sadness over Koumei's behaviour away.  
At least for now.

She strutted deeper into the wide open room and took a good look around. Apart from the aforementioned dust it was filled with shelves made from dark heavy wood. They stretched themselves along the walls and across the floor, neatly labelled with their respective topics. To her left she could see books about the geography of the empire, next to the history of trade and scrolls about plants. On the other side to her right shelves about magic stringed together, sorted by type.

Although Shian felt the urge to just gather everything and indulge in reading for a few hours, none of the shelves seemed to carry what she needed.  
For that she would have to delve into the archive. Said archive was located in the back of the library, a long narrow room one could reach by traversing between "Recipes against heartburn" and "Everything about horses".  
The thin stretch between the walls was made even thinner by the racks that lined them, each of them overflowing with stacks of loose paper and hastily rolled-up scrolls. There were only a few people in the palace who actually cared if the archive was tidy and they all lacked the time to take care of it – so it stayed pretty messy.  
The maid in Shian huffed in disapproval and she rolled up her imaginary sleeves. How she would find the protocols in here was a mystery to her.

Half an hour later she had finally managed to find her desired documents.  
Inside a wooden crate rested two piles of paper, yellowed at the rims and streaked with kinks. Because the archive was a dark and dim room Shian hoisted the crate out into the library and sought out a nicer place.

Said place was at one of the thin but floor-length windows, where a bench was installed above the deep windowsill. Shian stroked the deep red of the cushions. It was the same as the bed covers in her room and she couldn't help but smile. Whoever decorates the palace sure likes red, she thought.  
Sitting cross-legged she fished a stack of parchment out of the crate, gathered her supplies and a writing board and started reading.  
The content of the protocols weren't her focus but she still found most of them highly interesting. She got to read everything that was said in many years of meetings first hand! On the side she made notes on her paper, jotting down how they were structured –that was the reason for her studies after all.

When the sun stood high above the palace the letters had started to swim in front of her eyes. She hadn't had breakfast yet and eating in the library was a no-go anyway. After she read the same sentence three times without picking anything up from it she decided it was time for a break. She had earned it too – although her notepads were still few she was sure now how she would structure her future protocol.

Shian put everything down on the writing board and put it down beside her. With an ugly "pop" her joints stretched as she sat up and she acknowledged the pleasant feeling with a small moan. That was better.  
She opened the window and sat back down, her eyes closed as she inhaled the fresh air and listened to the sound of nature coming from the outside. The library was close to the gardens and she could hear the muffled voices of the gardeners and the distant noises of the horses. Minutes passed by where she was simply sitting there and enjoyed her surroundings, when a new sound mixed in with the others. It was the flutter of feathery wings.  
And it was pretty close.

Her eyes flew open only to find herself face to face with a pigeon that landed on her tucked up knee. The bird was plump and round and it's grey plumage shimmered beautifully in the light that shone through the open window. It cocked its head and cooed affectionately, no fear to be sensed.  
Shian smiled and although still confused she didn't mind the unexpected visitor. When she raised her hand slowly the pigeon eyeballed her suspiciously but as she stroked the feathers carefully it blinked and clattered happily with its beak. It was then that Shian saw the small piece of paper that was attached to the bird's foot. It had been folded into a rectangle and attached with something that looked like red…string? She wasn't sure.  
With a gentle gesture she tried to shoo the bird away.  
"Go, you appear to be having a mission! Wouldn't want to keep someone waiting, right?"  
She kept her voice low and the pigeon didn't even budge. Instead it flapped its wings and pecked at her knee, pulling a few threads out of the fabric of her skirt, making her sigh.  
"I don't want to have to repair my clothes just because-" She paused. There was writing on the paper, obviously naming the recipient of the message. Nothing unusual per se, but the tiny letters clearly spelled out her own name.  
No wonder the pigeon didn't want to go.

It was not too easy a task to take the paper off without damaging neither material nor messenger but finally she held the parcel in her hand.  
She untied it – was that _hair!?_ – and unfolded it, only to be greeted by the small but neat hand writing of her superior. The pigeon hopped of her knee and started to search for none-existing crumbs under the cushions but Shian didn't pay it any attention, too immerged into the writing to care. The letter, if you could call it one, was only a couple of sentences long.

 _Please forgive my words this morning. I was not feeling well and took it out on you, which of course is not fair, neither to me nor to you. It's getting late, if you want to, please return so we can eat and discuss things further._

Well, it's not exactly a love letter, Shian thought, but it's certainly not something you would write to just any employee. Not only had he asked for her forgiveness, he also had asked for her to return rather than just commanded her to.  
Unconsciously she had started to smile and put down the letter. With a harsh rip the scrap paper split as she tore it apart to write her answer. It was just a strip, barely big enough to write on comfortably but it was enough for what she wanted to write.

 _Thank you._

Being at a loss for appropriate tying material she resorted to the same technique Koumei had and fastened the slip to the pigeons leg with a strand of her own hair. It held perfectly still and as Shian patted its head it nuzzled against her palm.  
"Go back for me, will you?", she whispered, "and fly quickly, I will be back soon."  
The pigeon cooed again and then it took of through the window on its rather short journey back to the prince. It was kind of ridiculous to send two words with a pigeon across fifty meters by air but it made her feel giddy, like a child sending her first crush a message.  
Do you like me, yes, no, maybe?

She gathered her supplies and cleaned up – meaning that she clenched her notes between her teeth and hauled the crate back into the archive. Then she made her way back to the office.

When she left the library the scent from the nearby kitchen wafted over and her stomach rumbled loudly. It smelled of roasted fish and rice and the spices lingering in the air made her mouth water. She was half tempted to snatch something from her former colleagues but Koumei did write about eating together so she figured it would be impolite.  
She withstood the urge (and her scolding belly) and got on her way back to the office. Judging by the barely existing shadows outside the windows it had to be noon and she wondered to herself when the meeting would take place.  
Despite her in-depth studies of the protocols she was still nervous and the three rolled up pages in her hand seemed suddenly pathetic. A small sigh escaped her lips as she knocked on the door.  
"Come in."  
The prince seemed somewhat distracted and when she entered she could see why – a familiar pigeon perched on the desk and picked seeds out of Koumei's hand. Smiling at the sight Shian closed the door behind her and return to her own desk.

"So", he started, feeling quite a bit awkward, "what did you do in the time you were absent?" The question took her by surprise.  
"I was in the library looking for old protocols, My Lord. That's…what you commanded me to do, isn't it?"  
A sudden wave of anxiety hit her, did she misunderstood his orders? For a moment the two of them looked at each other, both surprised at the others' words and behaviours. Koumei cleared his throat.  
"Yes indeed. You just seemed pretty pissed off so I wasn't sure you complied."  
Even more shocked silence.  
"My Lord…apart from the fact that I really want to do a good job, I can't just defy you for _any_ reason, now can I!?"  
"Right…" His mumbled response was barely audible and all of the sudden Koumei seemed even more exhausted than usual. He drove his fingers through his messy hair and sighed. Please, just get her out of your head, Koumei! He scolded himself silently. She follows your orders, because you're a prince. That's all.  
Without noticing he had buried his face in his hands, his elbows resting on the wood of the table top.

On the other side of the room, Shian was drowning in confusion. What was going on..? Something she said upset him but she had no idea what it was. Did he for some reason wished that she disobeyed him? There was no way of knowing, but what was clear was the fact that he was in distress. And she couldn't stand seeing him like this.

Gathering her skirt carefully she rose again, making her way over to him. Her steps were almost completely silent on the thick carpet on the floor and as she stepped next to him he flinched at her sudden appearance.  
Shian laid a hand on his shoulder, following her heart more than her brain which was screaming bloody murder at her crossing of boundaries.  
"My Lord? Please forgive me, I didn't mean to upset you."  
A short nod was her answer, followed by a deep breath. Koumei emerged from behind his palms and straightened, making Shian break contact.

"You're not to blame here. I am just…confused."  
"Confused about what?", she asked, curious and worried all the same.  
"About-"

Who knows where their conversation would have led if it hadn't been interrupted by a knock. Unlike the last time it happened, Koumei was glad this time about the distracting and he hurried to call whoever it was inside. Much to Shian's dismay who took a step back and tried to look as innocently as she could.  
The door swung open, revealing Hadi. The head maid carried a tray with two steaming bowls on it – which in on itself wasn't weird but Shian still couldn't help but be surprised at Hadi herself showing up. She was usually the one supervising and only participated in the common workload when they were in a really tight pinch.

Hadi curtsied in front of them before bringing the tray over to Koumei's desk.  
"I apologize for my late arrival, I hope everything will be to your satisfaction."  
The prince noted her words with a gracious nod and helped himself to one of the bowls but Shian still hadn't moved.  
"Hadi, is everything alright?" The head maid nodded and put on an appeasing – albeit not convincing – smile. "We are still busy, that is all. A lot to prepare."  
I'm gone two days and I already have no idea what is going on anymore, she thought to herself and finally grabbed her bowl.  
"Thanks" she mumbled and went over to her own place. Hadi bowed once more and then left the room.

For a few minutes they ate in silence, the only sounds being the dripping of the broth and the wet slapping of the noodles inside.  
When Koumei put down his bowl he seemed composed again.  
"The meeting will begin in around an hour. Do you feel up to the task?"  
That seemed like a much more rational approach than just dropping her in. Shian nodded and replied:  
"I am quite nervous but I got a good idea of how it works. May I ask who else will attend the meeting?"  
If he mentions his father I will jump out the window, she thought.  
"My brothers and a few generals, although", and here he sighed, "I could imagine Kouha skipping out again. He never takes these kinds of things seriously. The meeting will be about the deployment of troops in the west. You know about businesses and not about war, so I expect you to not only take the minutes but also try to understand what is being said. Alright?"  
An eager nod was his answer. While Shian didn't exactly like violence and was still anxious about the whole thing, both the prospect of getting to know new things and Koumei's trust in her learning ability made her happy.  
"One more thing – how…formal is the meeting?" A smile darted over his face. "Are you asking me whether or not you should change? I'll let you decide, both options seem reasonable enough to me."

They continued working for around half an hour before Shian got up and excused herself. She was too nervous to concentrate and given that it would be her first event she did decide to put on her fancy clothes. Couldn't hurt, right?  
Right now she stood in her chamber, already dressed and waiting for her time to come. Apparently the meeting was to take place in the very same room she once delivered documents to, so at least she knew where to go.  
The flowy red fabric felt smooth and a bit cold against her bare legs and Shian stroked it absentmindedly, the feeling still unusual – her normal work clothes were much rougher. But they came back, the memories of the times when she wore such expensive materials herself.

Finally she got up and left her room, armed with a clipboard, her notes and a bunch of blank papers, together with a quill.  
It was not her quill – she had asked for one that Koumei used regularly. It was a meagre attempt at calming herself but for some reason Shian felt reassured to carry it with her. She had also played with the idea to take Bert with her but there was just no way to carry him without anyone noticing.  
And she remembered all too well what attitude Kouen had when it came to her plush bird.

As she reached the meeting room she was surprised to find the door open. She peeked inside but no one was there yet so she entered, the clipboard clutched against her chest.  
It looked the same as it had weeks before, the narrow table in the middle fitting the form of the room perfectly. At the end a bigger chair sat enthroned and next to it, a little bit farther away from the table – a smaller one, almost just a stool.  
That had to be her place and Shian was relieved to see it, it would be easier to write so close to the window. Due to its slim nature most of the room was shrouded in darkness, despite the already burning candles.  
She strut over to it and sat down on the stool, scanning her surroundings. An inkpot was placed on the table near her and she took the liberty in taking it and placing it under the stool, so she could reach it easily.  
Then she started to prepare her protocol, noting down the date, where it took place and the names of the attendees she already knew. She was so concentrated on writing as flawlessly as possible that she didn't notice the person that had joined her till their figure loomed over her, casting a shadow on her writings.

"What are you doing here, you useless wench?"  
Shian froze mid-movement, the tip of the quill hovering millimetres over the paper. It was the voice of the general from the eastern wing.


	15. Chapter 15

Shian swallowed hard.  
Keep calm, she told herself, you have every right to be here.  
Slowly she looked up, locking eyes with the man before her. They were not totally equal in ranks but close enough so that she didn't have to lower her gaze before him anymore. And while she felt fear creeping up inside her bones, she didn't let it show.

She tilted her head respectfully without breaking eye contact and replied: "I will act as the keeper of minutes at today's meeting."  
His answer was a harsh, sneery laugh.  
"You? Yeah sure, did you already forget that I know what you really are!?"  
He bent down, leaving them both on the same level and finally Shian cast down her eyes, not able to withstand the contempt on his face anymore.  
"I was recently pro-" "Don't you dare lie to me!"

His hand shot forward but instead of hitting her he grabbed her top uncouthly and pulled her closer to him. She could feel his breath on her face and she squeezed her eyes shut, all traces of defiance gone.

"Your unseemly habit of getting violent against just about everyone you deem weaker than yourself will not be further tolerated."

Usually it was a good time to chicken out when Kouen's voice sounded this overly strained but this time Shian felt like crying in relief when it sounded through the room.  
She dared to look past her assaulter and saw him standing in the doorway, the other generals peeking out from behind his broad shoulders like meerkats out of their holes.  
It would have been funny, hadn't she been so upset.

The general let go of her so suddenly that she poked herself with the quill she was still holding and a blob of dark ink spread across her skin.  
Nothing landed on her clothes, she noted thankfully but briefly – there were more pressing matters at hand.

The general had risen to his full height, even rivalling Kouen not only in stature but attitude as well. But the overarching aura of the first prince didn't allow for any discussion and the general knew it.  
He still tried.

"But Your Highness-"  
"I will not tell you again, I am positive you already had that conversation with my brother. Don't raise your hand against the servants without reason!"  
Like a hyena the general jumped at those last words.  
"But there was a reason. I will not be disrespected by someone so…lowly!"

His words struck Shian like an arrow – with her love for the second prince growing each passing day it was bad enough that she told herself how much out of his league she was. Having them be confirmed by someone else, and be it such an unpleasant man, hurt even more.

Kouen pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew how much his brother liked the shy woman and for his sake he tried to defuse the situation.  
Not only that, the way the commander acted not only around the former maid but all servants of the palace was simply unacceptable.  
Picking an open fight was still unwanted though, tension among the most powerful men of the empire was always a bad thing. So he had to at least pretend to listen to the man, although he was sure that the woman did nothing wrong.

"Alright. What did she do to…disrespect you?"  
The way he drew out the word made clear that he didn't believe him, but the general answered eagerly like a young puppy barking at its master.  
"She just doesn't have any manners and she lied to me and-"  
Kouen cut him off.

"That sounds suspiciously like what you tried telling to my brother after he caught you hitting that same person weeks ago."  
"Well, it was true then and it is true now", he muttered, shooting Shian a dirty look.  
Kouen turned his eyes to her as well, a questioning look on his face.  
"What do you have to say to it?"

Shian had dreaded the moment they would turn their attention back to her. She just wanted to retreat and vanish from the minds of the attendees but that was hardly possible.  
She swallowed and looked up. "He asked me what I was doing here and I answered accordingly."  
The prince nodded and went past both Shian and the general to take his place at the head of the table.  
"You are suspended for an indefinite period of time. Now leave the room, you have no right to be here anymore."

Shian felt like a bucket of ice water had been emptied out over her head. It was only her second day and she had already managed to get herself suspended.  
She had disappointed all her friends and even worse, Koumei himself. What would he say? Without even noticing tears had formed in her eyes and she clutched the quill so hard, the sharp tip dug into her flesh.  
The general on the other hand had put on a truly vile grin, full of vanity and arrogance.  
The only one who's expression didn't quite seem to match the situation was Kouen himself.

He looked a bit confused, although it was difficult to read on his almost always stoic face. Then something seemed to hit him and the slight puzzlement turned into a downright sadistic smile.  
He looked the general straight in the eyes and said: "I was not talking to her. I was talking to you. Get out."

Even hours later Shian couldn't really wrap her head around what happened but she was suspended in a happy state, the relief and satisfaction over Kouen's action keeping her afloat. Her task was coming along nicely as well, even though she didn't understand all that much it was still interesting to listen to.  
Four pages had already been filled in her looped handwriting and she felt that she was doing a good job.

By now it seemed like Kouen was holding the meeting alone, the generals were sloped down on the table and didn't contribute much expect occasional approving noises.  
It surprised her a lot but apparently the prince didn't need much else, the meeting was more him giving a presentation about what they would do rather than an actual discussion.  
When he finally slammed his hands down on the table most of the men got startled to the point where one of the eldest managed to knock over a candle.

He was quick to place it upright again and except for a few drops of wax nothing happened, but he still blushed furiously – which made for a really entertaining look on his wrinkly face. At least everyone payed attention again, especially because Kouen now shot all of them a stern look.  
"That concludes today's meeting, any questions?"  
Universal head-shaking was his answer and so he gathered his papers of the table and left the room first, followed by none other than Shian who had the least to clean – only the ink pot, the quill and her clip board.

Once outside she caught up with him while still keeping a respectful distance with her head lowered.  
"Your Highness? Please allow me to thank you and also ask for forgiveness for the trouble I have caused."  
"I would indeed advise you to stand up for yourself more. You are in the lucky situation that all those who hold the highest positions in this palace are against the mistreatment of servants in any shape or form."

He didn't look at her but she could swore his voice grew ever so slightly softer at his next words.  
"But I do understand why you kept quiet, given what happened before and the power imbalance between you. So yes, I forgive you. Just keep it in mind."  
By now they had reached the west wing and Kouen vanished inside his chambers before Shian could answer.  
Nonetheless she felt relieved as she walked the rest of the way to the office. She was actually excited to tell Koumei what had happened.

Much to her dismay the office was empty. She had knocked a few times and then entered without an answer, finding it barren.  
It was early evening, who knew where he was. Pushing the disappointment aside Shian figured she could do her daily workload before dinner – she didn't get anything done from the pile on her desk after all.

She sat down and put the first document in front of her. It contained a table of tax revenues over the last months and she had to calculate the expected amount to put it against the actual numbers. Not the most difficult thing in the world but still, after a few rows her head was spinning and she had to put down the quill again.

Instead of continuing her fruitless task Shian got up and moved over to the window, where the sun had started its way down towards the horizon.  
It was still visible over the roof of the palace and the gentle orange and pink hues it spread over the sky were simply stunning.  
She raised her head more and took in the scenery that was accompanied by the twittering of the birds and the smell of flowers in the air. It was a mild evening, much like every other – summer was slowly approaching after all – but she enjoyed it all the same.

A change in the air behind her made her flinch – someone had entered the room without her noticing.  
She turned around and found herself in front of the pinkish clad chest of the second prince. He stood quite close behind her, looking at the sky over her head.  
"Forgive me, I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just curious what you were looking at." Smiling sheepishly Shian raised her head to look him in the eyes.

"Just the evening sky, My Lord. The night is my favourite time of day but I do appreciate a nice sunset."  
"Who doesn't…", Koumei mumbled but he didn't look at the sky, he looked at the woman in front of him. The rosy-tinted light of the sun cast gentle shadows on her face and it seemed as if her yellow eyes glowed softly.  
He raised his hand, wanting to touch her, to convince himself she was even _real,_ but he stopped himself and instead brushed his bangs out of his forehead.  
There was just no point…and still…

"My Lord?"  
Shian had tilted her head and looked up at the prince in slight worry. He suddenly seemed very absent and…sad and she didn't know what to make of it.  
"Is everything alright?"

He didn't give her an answer. Instead he wrapped his arms around her slender body and pulled her close, causing her to gasp in surprise.  
"I'm sorry", he muttered, "are you uncomfortable?"  
His grip eased up, so she shook her head hastily. "Not at all" she whispered against his robe and finally relaxed, letting her cheek rest against his chest. She could faintly hear his heartbeat – it seemed too fast to her.  
Albeit having no idea what was going on, Shian relished the moment a lot. His touch had given her a sense of security ever since that incident with the general and just standing here with him put her at ease. All thoughts that told her they could never be together had been silenced for the moment.

She didn't know how long they just stood there, leaning against each other and listening to each other's' breathing, but when Koumei broke the silence the sky was no longer orange but blue. Only a thin red strip on the horizon still reminded of the sun's glory.

"Shian?"  
"Yes, My Lord?"  
He took a deep breath. "I'd like to ask a favour of you. Something that is not quite conventional and probably inappropriate."

The second the words left his mouth he could feel her tense and he couldn't help but smile a bit. Patting her head reassuringly he added: "I would never ask you to sleep with me, don't worry."  
"Why, am I that undesirable?"

The question caught him by surprise and he blushed ever so slightly. "Of course not, that is not what I meant-"  
He looked down at her and stopped. She smiled up at him, a cheeky, sassy smile. He had walked right into her trap. With an amused sneer he poked her side, causing her to squeal. "You're getting rather bold, Shian. But you are actually not too far off from my actual request."  
Tilting her head she asked: "What do you mean?"

Koumei released her from his grip and took a step back. He had started the topic and now he didn't want to back down.  
"I want to ask you to drop the formalities when we are alone. Call me by my name. _Just_ my name. You don't have to be so overly polite and you really don't need to be in constant fear that I would punish you for saying something wrong."

At the sight of his assistant staring at him as if he just sprouted wings he had to smile, but it was wistful one. What a stupid thing for him to say.  
"But…but why would you want that…?" The confusion was clear in her voice.

With a dull thud he leaned against his desk and started to fiddle with the ribbons on his garment.  
"Everyone treats me with respect but with distance. Everyone except for my siblings. And I am grateful for that but I rarely see them. We are all so busy. You, I see every day. And I've come to appreciate the time we spend together, even if it's just silently working.  
So I'd be really happy if we could close that distance between us. It's caused by the difference in rank so I figured if I allowed you to address me casually it would disappear."

Shian couldn't believe her ears and even less her brain, which crafted a conclusion out of his words that would be way too good to be true.  
"My Lord", she started, choosing her words carefully, "are you implying that you would want us to become…friends?"

An almost timid expression darted over his face as he nodded. His first attempt at an answer failed so he cleared his throat and tried again.  
"Yes, I suppose that's what I meant."  
His voice sounded husky and for the first time it looked like he was the one that wanted a hole to appear in the floor beneath him.

Taking a step closer to him, Shian gathered her courage and laid a finger under his chin, making him look at her. A gentle smile had appeared on her face.  
"But we already are, aren't we?"

A short silence settled in, both of them thoroughly taken aback by their sudden role reversal, not entirely awkward but still a bit weird.  
It was broken by Shian who quietly cleared her throat and retracted her hand.

"So…are you really sure? Like, are we talking no formalities _at all?"  
_ The prospect seemed to be freaking her out a bit. Talking to the prince like she would talk to Mai or Kara? Impossible. And still he nodded.  
"When we are alone of course, it would not be a welcomed sight in company I'm afraid. Not even Kouen, Kouha and I can talk to one another like family when we are out in public. It's rather annoying to be honest."  
"I will try, but I can't promise you that I will be able to adjust immediately."  
"That's all I ask of you."

And with that he pushed himself away from the table, went to close the window and finally settled down on his chair.  
"Are you hungry?"  
Shian nodded, lunch seemed indeed like a long time ago.  
"Then I will send for a servant to get us something."

He was about to get up again but her body language made him pause.  
"What's wrong?"  
"My Lo-", she faltered before skipping over the title.  
"I told you I would like to eat dinner with the other servants, right? It's really not that I wouldn't want to eat with you, but I don't really see them anymore except for dinnertime." "Oh…yeah. Of course. I forgot, but it's fine."  
He tried really hard to keep his voice neutral but his darting eyes and fiddling fingers proved him wrong. He was disappointed.  
"Koumei?" His name felt foreign on her tongue as it lacked the appropriate prefix but it made him smile.  
"Yes?"  
"Would you perhaps like to eat with us?"

The whole way to the kitchens Koumei tried to find excuses, the main one being that it just wasn't appropriate for the second prince to eat in the servants' kitchen. And although that was a valid reason, Shian didn't let it count.  
The way Koumei's expression had lit up after her proposal and how half-heartedly his objections were spoke volumes. He was thrilled about the prospect of eating in company for once. Nice company that is, not some stiff nobles or nagging generals.

When they reached the kitchen tract Koumei had grown quiet.  
"You know, I wouldn't want to disturb them. I will probably just be a confounder for them because they will have to attend to me."  
"They won't. You'll just have to tell them that you will take care of yourself. And we can chat about some science stuff they won't understand so they'll probably just think we are discussing work."  
"That still wouldn't explain why we aren't discussing work in the o-"

He didn't finish his sentence, because Shian gave him a gentle push and he stumbled into the kitchen. Immediately all eyes landed on the prince and everything came to a halt.  
It was not that he wasn't used to people looking at him – he was one of the highest ranking people in the empire after all – but that didn't mean he particularly enjoyed it.  
He simply lacked his brothers' charisma and confidence and so he was relieved that he didn't turn red under their gazes.

One would have been able to hear a feather fall, so quiet had everyone grown but the spell was broken with Hadi coming forward.  
She bowed respectfully.  
"My Lord, what an unexpected pleasure. How can we be of service?"  
Koumei cleared his throat.  
"I would be content if you would allow me to take up a place among you for the evening." Whatever answer Hadi had expected, that wasn't it.  
"Forgive me My Lord, but I don't understand…"

Shian decided to come to their aid. She peeked out from behind the prince, smiling sheepishly.  
"His Highness wishes to dine with us today."  
Her choice of words earned her a scolding look by the prince – he hadn't wanted to order them to lend him space but rather ask for it. He didn't have a chance to clear it up though, because someone in the back of the kitchen squealed with delight.  
Like cats at a ping pong match, the heads of the eagerly listening kitchen crew snapped around to the source of the noise. Said source was none other than Mai, who had clapped her hands in front of her mouth.  
She had blushed a dark red right up to the roots of her curly brown hair and now she shrunk into herself at the attention.

"I'm sorry", she squeaked, "but I got excited at the chance of dining with such high company."  
And also it means you two are getting along nicely, Mai added silently, that last sentence only meant for Shian to notice. And notice she did, she could read the expression on her friend's face perfectly.

Hadi shook her head over her overenthusiastic underling and turned her attention back to the prince. She bowed her head again.  
"I have to admit that I am quite surprised about your request, but we all will be happy to comply. What can we do-"  
"No."

Koumei had cut her off a bit more rudely than he intended and now he cleared his throat in an attempt to regain his composure.  
"No", he repeated, "there will be no need for anything like that. Give me a place to sit and I will help myself. Just pretend I'm not there."  
"A-alright", Hadi stuttered, clearly taken aback.  
None had ever seen the elderly woman that dumbfounded and Shian had to admit – that sight alone made their little excursion worth it.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, we are still in the process of preparing it." Acknowledging her words with a nod Koumei wandered deeper into the kitchen, where Shian quickly took the lead.  
She strutted towards the dining room but couldn't help but notice how out of place Koumei seemed in this simple environment.

His bright, clean clothes clashed with the desaturated uniforms of the maids that were full of stains and the embroidery on his robe didn't want to fit in with the simplicity of the workbenches and cupboards.  
With fright Shian realized that he was not the only one who felt out of place. Her own clothes were much more intricate than those of her former peers and her hair was slung into an elegant bun at the base of her neck, rather than just tucked away loosely in a braid.  
A sudden wave of melancholy hit her and she hurried into the still empty servants' kitchen. Koumei followed her a bit slower but he hadn't missed the mood shift that happened in his assistant.

Once inside Shian kept herself busy, lighting the candles in the plain candelabras by the wall and assembling a dish set from the shelf.  
"Choose whatever place you like. Would you like some tea? I could certainly use some."  
Her happy chatter seemed a bit forced but Koumei let it slide, he had a feeling it wasn't the right time to address her mood change. He looked around the room.  
"I would love a cup of tea. Where do you usually sit?"

After Shian had pointed to the end of the table, he sat down somewhere close and let his gaze wander. The room really was devoid of any decoration or embellishment. It was an unusual sight for him as he spent all his time in the highly adorned areas of the palace.  
Shian placed the dish set in front of him, carefully arranging the crude items like she would for a royal banquet.  
"I will be right back."

And with that she left him alone in the room to make the tea. He could hear the excited chitchat of the servants outside the door and he shut his eyes, immersing in the surrounding atmosphere. The candle light flickered even through his closed eyelids and the air smelled like food and clean laundry and…life.

Without noticing, he had begun to smile.


	16. Chapter 16

Outside the servants' kitchen, Shian had put the kettle on and while the water started to boil she went over to the pantry to get some dried peppermint leaves.

Once she was inside though she was assaulted by what felt like the entire workforce, with Mai and Hadi leading the way.  
The tiny room was of course way too small for all of them but no one seemed to care and Shian found herself pressed against the shelves.

"So", Mai started the interrogation, "what is this all about!?"  
Despite her harsh choice of words her voice didn't convey any negative emotions, but pure and simple curiosity. The whole crowd emitted an aura of positive interest and so she relaxed despite of the cramped situation.

"There are a few things him and me have to take care of but we didn't eat a lot today. So we figured we would discuss it during dinner – but I really wanted to eat with you guys. So he was generous enough to agree to accompany me."  
She lowered her voice a bit, not wanting to seem disrespectful with her next words.  
"His Highness is afraid of inconveniencing you with his presence, so just let me handle it and act as usual, okay?" A smile darted across her face and she winked at Mai. "Just be careful with the palace gossip!"

A stunned silence fell over the servants present and finally Hadi voiced what everyone thought: "Shian, you're gone for two days and you already seem so much more…confident!" Blushing slightly Shian lowered her gaze to the floor. She had to think of the scene hours prior where she had been the exact opposite of courageous.  
And still, wasn't there some truth to Hadi's words?  
"Thank you", she finally mumbled, before putting on a cheeky smile. "May I go now? I wouldn't want the water to boil over."

They had dispersed quickly, driven by Hadi who, now that everything was said and done, reverted to her old composed self. In the commotion Mai had snatched a place next to Shian. She was in the process of grinding the dried leaves into tea bags so she stood in a cloud of peppermint scented air.

"You really shouldn't do any dirty work in that fancy attire", Mai teased her friend. She herself was slicing freshly baked bread and the hearty smell mixed in with that of the tea. Shian smiled.  
"Like I said, I will take care of him so there's no way around it."

Bending down a bit she poured the ground leaves into the fabric bags and then put them in two cups she had taken with her from the servants' kitchen.

"Aww, that's so cute!" This time, there was no teasing in Mai's voice. "I am so happy for you!"  
Her answer was a short nod, Shian was busy pouring the water without spilling the hot liquid everywhere.  
"I'm really glad too. Although it will be a long night, I had a meeting today so my usual workload is still ahead of me."  
She groaned a bit at the thought, making Mai giggle. "I will bring you some jasmine tea before I go to bed, that will help." "Thank you".  
With a last smile Shian gathered the two tea cups. "See you in a bit." Careful not to drop anything she made her way back to the prince.

Koumei opened his eyes when he heard the clatter of dishware in front of him. Seconds later the hot steam brushed against his skin and he took a deep breath.  
"Thank you. Did your friends give you a hard time?"  
Sitting down across from him, Shian took a sip of her still steeping tea and shook her head. "They are just curious." "Understandably so."  
He kept quiet for a bit, staring down into the green liquid.  
"Shian, are you happy?"

The question caught her by surprise, making her look up a little bit too fast – her tea sloshed in the cup and hit her upper lip. "Ouch!"  
Hastily she put it down and pressed the back of her hand against her lips in an attempt to soothe the burning sensation. Koumei couldn't help but smile a bit.  
"I'm sorry, maybe I should have warned you." "No, it's fine", she returned, lowering her hand again.  
"I just really wasn't expecting that now. Yes, I am happy. Very much so! I'm sure I don't deserve all the good that happened to me so I will appreciate it even more."  
With her hands wrapped around her warm teacup and a genuine sparkle in her eyes, she really did look content, Koumei noted.  
"So you wouldn't want anything to change..?", he asked, caution in his voice.

There was such earnest interest in his voice, Shian had to bite her lower lip to keep from spilling her secret. That she very much wanted something to change, that if she could choose, she would want him as a partner rather than only as a friend. But she kept quiet.  
No matter how honest his words were about wanting to close the distance, there was no way that could ever happen.  
And still, the way he had hugged her and almost kissed her lingered in her mind, clouding her judgement. Maybe…

"Shian?"  
His voice brought her back and she realized that she must have stared into the distance for some time. She shook her head.  
"Excuse me. No, I wouldn't want anything to change. But", she added, choosing her words carefully, "I was happy as a maid too, you know? I didn't wish for change. But it happened and now…I am even more content. So I will just wait and see what the future has in store for me."

That seemed like a totally reasonable answer and still, Koumei was disappointed. What did he expect, that she would declare her love to him or something?  
Before any of them could say something else though, the other servants poured into the kitchen, carrying the trays with their food and flocking to the shelves to get their plates. From one moment to the other the atmosphere exploded with life.  
While they all settled down on the benches, Nami approached Koumei rather nervously. She was the one in the unlucky position to have her usual spot taken by the unexpected visitor. "My Lord?", she asked, clutching her hands in front of her chest.  
Usually Nami was a bubbling personality but right now she seemed incredibly shy.  
"May I sit next to you?"

She relaxed when the prince gave her a smile and nodded. "Of course."  
While they all did try to act normal there was a certain uneasiness in the room. Koumei guessed it was because of the power he held – if he wished to he could order them to sit and eat on the floor or just leave the room altogether, so no one wanted to rub him the wrong way.  
Nami sat down next to him, careful not to bump against him and with that, everyone was seated.  
Hadi had taken her place at the head of the table and raised her teacup in a cheering manner. "I am proud of you all today. There was much to do but you managed beautifully. Now let us eat, we will need our strength."  
There was approving chatter around the table and then dinner commenced.

Shian felt a little bit left out though. She piled some rice onto her plate and jumped at the opportunity.  
"Nami, what did Hadi mean? Is there some event coming again?" Eagerly Nami nodded. "One of the generals' daughters is going to marry in a few weeks. And because he's high ranking or whatever it's going to be here in the palace. Although there is still time we're already preparing whatever we can."  
Shian nodded understandingly, better now than when time was sparse.  
A small noise next to Nami distracted her. Koumei had yelped quietly and now he looked rather embarrassed.  
"Excuse me", he mumbled, "I'm simply not too thrilled at the prospect." "Why not?", Nami asked, finally discarding her reservations a bit.

"As part of the royal family I am to attend as well and I simply don't fancy large gatherings." Although he didn't sound impolite, his voice made it clear that he didn't wish to speak about it further and Shian jumped at the opportunity to change the topic.  
"My Lord, I didn't manage to process my paperwork today, seeing as I was in the meeting. Would you kindly allow me to do it after dinner? It will probably be a few hours though I'm afraid."

Under the table Koumei tensed up and his fingers dug themselves into the fabric of his robe. Of course, he himself had told her to uphold the usual manners in company but her overly polite way of speech almost made him sick. He hadn't realized how much it meant to him that she had accepted his request.

"Surely. But please don't overwork yourself. Of course you weren't able to do it today so there is no shame in postponing your work."  
A smile darted across her face and Shian had to pay attention to not get too sassy. "I really wish you would honour your own words, My Lord."  
She lowered her voice so it almost drowned in the general noise around them. "Also I have the slight suspicion that not a lot of my work would be left the next morning."

Before he could compose himself, Koumei could feel the blood rush into his cheeks.  
Busted.  
"Your suspicion might be right", he admitted. His response was a gentle smile and the tension left his body again. "But I will be happy nonetheless to share my workplace with you in the evening again."  
With that he returned his attention back to his food, which was not any worse than usual. He was not one to care for the presentation which the maids spend so much time on – mostly because he barely looked at his food. His eyes were often glued to some document or contract and because of that he didn't miss it.  
The only thing he noticed that was different was the occasional stringy piece of meat.

The rest of the dinner he spent listening to the chattering servants around him and he couldn't help but smile at the few bits of gossip he picked up. He was certain neither of his brothers slept with curlers in their hair but who was he to destroy that illusion?

Shian on the other side had to fight herself not to stare at the prince during the whole meal.  
As much as he had complained on the way he seemed at ease among her friends.  
Even his bright clothes seemed to fit in now in the soft candlelight and although he didn't talk much he seemed to listen in amusement. It filled her with glee and as the chatter died down and more and more people returned to the kitchen to resume their duties, Shian found herself disappointed that it was already over.

Finally Hadi shooed the last of them outside and she was alone with Koumei once more.  
"Should we…?" He gestured to their dirty plates and Shian nodded. "We'll just pop them into the dish tub, someone will take care of them."  
She smiled to herself. "Probably Nami. She was the one next to you."

Gathering her plate and his she got up and walked back into the kitchen, despite the complaints from her superior. The big room was filled with life once more but the atmosphere was different.  
Before, the smell of the food had mixed with the scent of the smouldering coal and burning wood and the flickering flames had painted the walls in a warm light.  
Now it smelled of stale leftovers and the soap used to clean the dishes dispensed a fresh but pungent odour. The splashing of water could be heard and the chatter had died down – everyone was eager to finish work for the day and head to bed.  
Shian felt the same, but for her and Koumei the day was far from being over.  
He had followed her and now watched as she put their dishes next to the tub where the red-haired maid was already busy scrubbing them clean.

They made their way back to the office in darkness – none of them had thought to bring a candle and for some reason the corridor had not been lit up yet.

"That was…nice."  
He spoke up halfway there and Shian flinched in surprise. Embarrassed she cleared her throat. "I'm glad you think so. I told you they wouldn't mind." She had turned her head to look at his silhouette in the dim light and instantly regretted it.  
A bump in the carpet – or whatever it was, it was _dark_ – caused her to stumble and seconds later she found herself losing her balance while flailing her arms in an attempt to regain balance.

With a splat sound and an odd little jump she regained her steadiness and exhaled in relief. It took a moment before her brain processed what happened and she whirled around as she realized what the noise had been.  
Koumei stood in the corridor seemingly frozen, a hand at his cheek. "Ouch"

The remark came off not as angry but rather as dry and still Shian felt her face light up red. She resisted the urge to throw herself on the ground and instead just bowed deeply, hoping he could see it despite the gloom.  
"I'm so sorry, that was not intentional!" "Well I sure do hope so!"  
Slight amusement could be heard in his voice. "Hopefully it won't be visible tomorrow – I have a reputation to maintain."  
Shian rose again. "What reputation?"

"Concerning my involvement with women, namely that I have none."  
He said it with such earnestness that Shian had to laugh. "You have me, don't you? Ah no, I forgot. You would never sleep with me." She giggled to herself and continued her way, the grin still on her face.  
She didn't realized that Koumei remained where he stood a bit longer and sighed.  
Of course he would. Not that this was his primary objective but he would be lying if he denied ever thinking about it.  
The thought of holding her close, of feeling her body against his drove him crazy.  
He really could not lie to himself any longer, no matter how hard he tried.  
He was in love.

The sound of a door opening somewhere further along the corridor pulled him out of his thoughts. His assistant apparently reached the office and he hurried to follow her so he could evade any weird explanations.  
When he entered she already sat at the desk, busily scribbling on a piece of paper. The pile of documents next to her on the desk was almost as tall as his own and he sighed to himself. He loved working with her but he hadn't planned on dragging her down with him into his sleepless hell. But now it was too late.  
Shaking his head he sat down, the chair creaking as he put his weight on it. The sooner he started the sooner he could finish and go to bed.

When Mai entered the office the next morning to clean she couldn't help but smile. Even after repeated knocking there was no answer so she had guessed it was empty – but she had been wrong.  
Resting on the main desk laid the prince, his arms crossed under his head, and slept peacefully. The reason why he rested on the desk rather than the more comfortable couch became clear as she looked to the right.  
Laying on said couch, arms wrapped around one of the green pillows, there was Shian. The former maid had opened her tight bun and her straight black hair covered the majority of the area around her head – it would be a pain to brush it once she woke up.  
That in itself was a cute sight but what really made Mai beam with glee was the fact that Shian was curled up under the prince's robes. And she would have never accepted, so he must have tucked her in after she fell asleep.

It took all of Mai's composure for her not to squeal in delight and wake both of them. Instead she backed away out of the room as silently as possible and closed the door. Only to gasp in terror as something on the other side of the door crashed down and apparently shattered on the wooden floor.  
Without a second thought Mai took to her heels and bailed. She didn't want to be the one responsible for whatever just broke.

On the inside two people had woken up with a start, bolting upright after the sharp noise woke them so rudely. Koumei looked around in alarm, a part of him was always on edge, being the prince and all.  
Two things struck his eye – a picture frame on the floor and his assistant, who looked as distraught as he felt. Although the shock sat still in his bones he had to giggle. She looked a little bit as if she had been outside during a thunderstorm, with her hair sticking out all over the place.

Shian shook her head to regain her composure and scanned her surroundings. There was the frame and at the desk – her giggling superior.  
The blood rushed to her cheeks as she realized that he was looking at her and she hastily tried to tame her unruly thatch. Combing it down with her fingers she fumbled it into a quick braid. He was still chuckling to himself after she was done and by now, Shian was downright pouting.  
"I don't know what's so funny about that. At least my hair doesn't look like this all the time!"

That cooled him of a little bit and he cleared his throat, still amused but in control again. "Aww, how harsh of you, Shian. I wasn't laughing at your personal bird's nest per se, it simply looked very cute."  
His words did nothing to soothe her, to the contrary she was now sulking even more.  
"I'm not cute!" "Yes, you are." "Am not!"  
They squabbled with one another like this for a while before they both burst into laughter at the absurdity of their doings.

"I wonder what made the frame fall down", Shian said more to herself after they had calmed down again.  
She got up from the couch to walk over to it and the robe slid down her side, making her pause. She hadn't even realized that it had been there. Would it become a habit for her to wake up under his clothes? Not that she would mind.

She carefully folded the fabric and then went over, kneeling down next to the frame. As she turned it around she looked at a simple drawing, made with charcoal. It depicted a human-like figure surrounded by what she could only assume to be birds. She knew the picture from her many hours of cleaning and she had often wondered why it was there.

Without her noticing Koumei had joined her and now he took the splintered wooden frame out of her hands. "Kouha drew it, not long after Kouen, him and I met. It was suddenly there, on top of my desk one day."  
He smiled softly. "Of course Kouha denies having anything to do with it. To this day even, almost ten years later."  
Carefully he plopped the picture out of the broken frame and set it down on the drawer where it fell from.  
Shian got up again and looked at the drawing once more. "It's you, right? Surrounded by pigeons."  
"Well, because the artist doesn't want to admit anything it will forever be a mystery. But I do suppose so, yes."  
"That's adorable."  
He nodded and put the frame on his desk. "How about we both get ready and then we'll start the day? I do feel like I could use a bath."  
Due to some explicit images that Shian's brain presented her eagerly, she hurried to agree. "I will be back soon." She whipped around and left the room before he could wonder why she turned red at the thought of him bathing.

On her way back to her room in the hospital wing she scolded herself. Hopefully he hadn't picked up on what was going on inside her mind.  
She walked into the shared bathroom and slipped out of her fancy clothes. She had slept in them and it showed. It almost pained her to see the wrinkles in them and she pitied the poor maid who would have to smooth them out. It would probably be Mai too…

The water in the tub was cold and it wasn't the most pleasant thing as Shian washed herself with it, but at least she was feeling like herself again. She donned her uniform and looked at herself in the blank mirror. She had slight eye bags and her hair was still fuzzy from the night but she felt good and strong.

It was time to start the day.


	17. Chapter 17

When Shian left her room she almost collided with Liang. The young doctor who usually emitted a calm and dignified aura looked like he hadn't slept in days – and Shian knew how a person looked after so little sleep, she had seen Koumei way too often in that state.  
While not exactly being friends – they rarely talked to each other – Shian did value Liang for his kind and smart personality and she felt a sting of worry welling up.  
"You look absolutely awful."

Indeed his eye bags and tired look spoke volumes, and his blonde hair could definitely use a washing or two. At her comment he smiled weakly.  
"I know, I know. Yesterday and the day before that…let's just say I didn't really sleep a lot. The merchant who usually supplies us with healing herbs and medicine didn't show up and we're really running low. Hayfever is going around and now I've got a pissed of general with a broken bone who wants painkillers, but I don't have any!"  
He sighed deeply, running his fingers through his hair.

"Did you talk to one of the princes about it..? Surely they can send someone to get the necessities." Shian was already in the process of making a mental list of possible solutions but it was rather short. She simply didn't have the necessary resources to help.  
"No, I didn't. To be honest, I simply didn't have the mind for it, I was just so busy. That's the disadvantage of being the only physician here, with only a handful of nurses."

Putting on a smile, Shian replied: "If you want to I can talk to Prince Koumei. We will sort this out."  
His eyes lit up and he nodded eagerly. "That would be wonderful. On my desk in the infirmary is the list with everything we need, sorted by urgency. If you excuse me now, I will head to bed. I have to use whatever time I can before the next wave of teary-eyed, sniveling invalids start pouring in." Bowing his head slightly he passed Shian and vanished into his room. She could hear a dull thud and smiled, he probably passed out straight onto his bed.

She left the corridor and entered the ward. She hadn't been here since she moved, she mostly left through the side door, heeding Liang's words not to cross it unnecessarily. The tiles were as freshly green as ever and the bed sheets were still brightly white but the usual smell of nature had indeed vanished. So much can happen in a couple of days, Shian thought to herself, not only meaning the ward but also her own life.

As she crossed the room to reach the desk she thought about where the medicine came from – she hadn't bothered to ask. If they simply were from the capital it wouldn't be too much of a problem, one or two maids could pick up what was needed on their usual shopping trip but Shian doubted it was that easy. She would have to ask Koumei about the origins of the twenty items that presented themselves to her from the list that laid on the table. Other than Koumei's small but neat handwriting, Liang's was bigger and looped to the point where one could barely read it. It was pretty but incomprehensible and Liang apparently fulfilled that doctor's stereotype with pride, judging by the size of the words. They occupied almost the entire page.

She grabbed the piece of paper and left the hospital wing, her steps hurried and fast. Koumei would probably already be waiting for her. Sure enough, when she pushed open the purple decorated door, he was sitting at his desk, looking at her with a certain expectancy in his eyes. Although she did anticipate him waiting she was surprised nonetheless. Unlike any other day the empty space in front of him was not filled with documents but rather with a silver tray, containing plates and bowls.

"I'm as surprised as you are", he said, "but when I returned they were already there. Your former colleagues really are hardworking, aren't they?" He winked at her, causing Shian to smile.  
She closed the door and went over to her own workspace, where a similar tray awaited her. "They are indeed. I guess Mai noticed that we were awake." She sat down and her mouth watered at the smell coming from the food. Apparently they had kicked the usual breakfast up a notch and instead of the usual crepe and fruit she looked at a steaming piece of fish, together with a roasted piece of bread and some potatoes.  
She put down her list and looked back at her superior, who fiddled with his chopsticks. "Should I ask about the piece of paper or are you going to tell me on your own?" Chuckling slightly, Shian shook her head. "After breakfast, okay? I am hungry!"  
Seeing as Koumei was nearly already eating himself he didn't object and the two of them dug in in silence, not because of a lack of words but rather because they both learned to not speak with a full mouth.

Breakfast went by quickly and after Shian swallowed her last piece of bread she took the list again and flattened it in front of her. The trays had been banished to the floor to be picked up later. "When I left the room earlier I nearly ran into Liang, the head physician. He was pretty overtired and it is because a pending delivery of medicine failed to appear. I promised to check in with you if anything could be done about that. Maybe we can send someone to pick the most urgent products up?" She lifted the document. "He gave me the list, sorted by urgency."

Koumei had started to chew on the feathery tip of his quill. "I am surprised I haven't heard of that before. A shortage in medical supplies is a serious issue and not to be taken lightly. No one knows when an illness will spread or when we have to rely on being able to treat wounds of war."  
"Where do we obtain them from? The capital itself?"  
"No, that would be way to easy. Most of the herbs are from a far traveled merchant, either imported or from villages in the mountains."  
By now Shian had mirrored his behavior and was gnawing on her writing utensil, but rather than ruining the soft feather she was nibbling at the pen part of it. As a consequence her lower lip was now tinted black and she noticed her error soon when she tasted the bitter metallic flavor of the ink. Hastily she put it down at touched her lips, shuddering at the unpleasant sensation on her tongue.  
"Ink really doesn't taste nice."

Having watched her little mishap, Koumei couldn't help but smile at the black haired woman. "Can confirm.", he added dryly and both of them remembered their first "real" encounter. It seemed both like years ago and only yesterday.  
Shian wiped the liquid of her lips with the seam of her skirt – she was wearing her maid uniform again so stains were no big deal.

"Okay, back to the topic at hand. The smartest thing would be to find out what happened to the merchant, right? If we are lucky he is just delayed because of a storm or something."  
Koumei acknowledged her idea with a nod. "I think you're right, although I am not sure who to send. It's not like I doubt the intelligence of our servants but none of them are equipped to deal with that kind of task. And neither are most of the generals."

Hiding a grin, Shian cocked her head. "Are you saying our generals are not clever enough?"  
Koumei sighed and fiddled with his quill. "Well, a lot of them do rely on brute force more than on finesse. That is my job, as strategist. They only carry out my orders and ensure they are implemented correctly."  
"But you are not the only strategist in the kingdom, aren't you?" He shook his head. "No, but have you _seen_ those guys? They are around a million years old!"  
Surprised at his own words he covered his mouth with his hand and turned red. "I…I mean…"

It was too late, Shian was already hunched at her desk, trying to contain her laughter. She remembered the men she encountered in that first meeting and she had to agree. "No, you are-", she had to pause due to another wave of laughter, "you are completely right, as far as I can tell."  
A little bit of giggling later she had calmed down again. "But then I don't really know either. What about Lord Kouha?"

At the mentioned of his younger brother Koumei grimaced a bit.  
"I know he has not given you permission like I did, but please don't call him that in front of me. It's weird."  
His request was met with uncertain silence.

"What about Lord Kouen? And His Highness, the Emperor?" At the thought of simply calling him by his name Shian actually turned white and Koumei smiled to himself.  
"Kouen is fine, but not even we address our father by his name, no matter the company." Clearly relieved Shian nodded.  
"Okay then. How about we send Lo- I mean Kouha to investigate?" Her pale complexion made way for a slight blush again at her next words. "It's not like he is particularly busy, right?"

Koumei had to laugh at her carefully wording and he nodded. "He really isn't. But I have a feeling if he just goes off by himself that won't work. Worst case we will have to pay smart money!"  
A menacing glint sparked in his eyes and Shian could tell by the way his lips curled into a grin what he was thinking.  
"Oh no! I can't. What about all the work? There is no way-!"

There was a way.  
When Mai came to pick up the food trays she was met with two people silently working, one grinning to himself and the other one pouting and muttering angrily. She didn't dare to ask then and there, but Shian was sure to get a load of questions in the evening at dinner. While she gathered the trays off the floor Koumei looked up.  
"Please send my younger brother into my office. Sometime soon, if possible." And although Mai had no idea where Kouha was or what he was doing she obliged while shooting her friend curious looks. Shian just smiled, she did feel a bit of schadenfreude at the sight of her friend basically boiling over with curiosity. To make matters worse, it wasn't even certain she would be able to attend dinner today, who knew how long she would be out with the young prince.

After Mai was gone Koumei addressed his assistant. "I do appreciate you trying to get done as much as possible but you should really start preparing. If we're lucky you find him in like three hours and be back before evening, but I have a feeling it could take at least two days or so, so you better be prepared. I will talk to Kouha."

While getting up, Shian grabbed her trusty clipboard from her drawer – she would need it for her notes. "I will come back here then to meet with him. And…to say goodbye?"  
Koumei smiled and nodded, secretly happy that she wanted him to see her off like that.  
"Of course."

She was halfway out the door when she stopped once more and turned back to him. It was clear to him that something was up because rather than looking at him she suddenly seemed really interested in the grain of the doorframe.  
"Koumei? May I have one of your quills again?"

A warm feeling spread through his chest and he smiled gently without even realizing it.  
"Come here."

While she walked back into the room he opened the lowest drawer in his desk and pulled out a slim box, swathed in a piece of expensive looking dark blue fabric. He put it down on the table top and had to try really hard not to bathe in the curiosity on Shian's face.  
He pulled the fabric aside and opened the box, revealing a quill that looked differently than their normal ones.  
The feather was black but now that the light hit it, it shimmered in green and blue and pink and the pen was inlayed with gold.

Shian gasped a bit. Being a fellow bird lover she marveled at the iridescent image before her.  
"I kind of save it for special occasions. When I have to sign a particularly official document or something like that. But it is a shame it gets used so rarely. If you want to you can take it for now."  
Still being too overwhelmed to speak Shian reached out and lightly stroked the feather. While a part of her was indeed speechless because of its beauty, she mostly didn't speak because of her emotions boiling up.  
He entrusted her with something so precious and she took it as a huge act of faith that made her beyond happy. And still she retracted her hand and shook her head.  
"Thank you for the offer. It is gorgeous and I can't even tell you how thrilled I am that you would lend it to me, but…I am afraid I will have to decline."  
She had unconsciously slipped back into a much more formal way of speaking but her smile was honest and bright and Koumei felt the sudden urge to pull her close and not let go for a long time.  
"May I ask instead for one you use more often? I feel secure when taking a part of you with me." With a little jolt she realized how cheesy that sounded and she hastily added: "I mean…a part of your knowledge and expertise. Even if it is only figuratively."

It was Koumei's turn to keep silent, he was afraid his voice would betray him and reveal what he was feeling. Even with her addition he felt like there was a deeper meaning to her words and he figured it wasn't a negative one.  
Being robbed of words for the moment he rewrapped the quill and put it back, before opening another drawer farther up. It was as messy as the rest of the desk and full of quills in varying sizes and shades of brown, grey and white.  
Without further ado he picked one that looked well used, the feather was fuzzy and stained with ink. With a smile he offered it to her and Shian returned it before taking the quill.  
"Thank you, My-", she paused and her smile turned a bit sheepish, "I mean, Koumei. I will be back soon."  
And finally she left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Luckily enough for Koumei, had he remained mute for longer it would have probably been weird. Now that she was gone he sighed deeply and rested his head on his arms. How in the world was he supposed to continue to function with her near him? So near and still so far.  
He was of course happy to love her in silence and the last thing he wanted was to force his feelings upon her somehow – and still, his longing became stronger by the day.  
With a sigh he rose again and grabbed the nearest piece of paper of his desktop. It was some kind of itemisation but he didn't payed much attention to it and just worked through it mechanically. His mind meanwhile was lost somewhere far more pleasant…

Had Shian known what kind of thoughts went through the prince's head, she wouldn't have been half as gloomy as she was now. As soon as the door had closed behind her she had leaned against it, face hidden in the palm of her hand and the quill pressed against her chest. How was she expected to remain near him day after day, with him being so nice that she fell in love with him every time anew?  
Instead of answering her own unspoken question she took a deep breath and straightened her back. Dwelling on it too long would only cause her misery and so she pushed herself away from the door and went over to her room. The walk into the hospital wing seemed longer than usual and when she finally arrived next to the big double doors she realized why. She dreaded departure both because it meant leaving behind her new nice workplace and socializing with the third prince. She didn't dislike him but he was difficult to deal with, especially when holding the lower position. While his brothers could easily put him in his place Shian was completely exposed to his ever changing mood.

Even though she walked slower than usual she found herself all too soon in her own four walls. She retrieved her leather bag from her drawer and threw some items in it – the clipboard, the quill, Bert and two sets of clothes. That was about the extent of what she had at her disposal and together with her brush from the bathroom it was all she would need. She hoped that the prince would deal with possible financial issues. With one last look at her comfy warm chamber she opened the door – and gasped in shock.  
Said prince stood in front of her, his fist already raised to knock at the now open door. For a second he looked as exasperated as she did but he recovered quickly and crossed his arms, a slightly arrogant expression on his face.

Kouha let his gaze wander over the figure in front of him, from her black hair that was tucked loosely in a braid and over her simple maid uniform to the ink stains at the seam. He didn't know what his brother saw in the woman but he was happy for him nonetheless. Of course he denied loving her but Kouha knew better. And he had a certain feeling that Shian was not exactly opposed to Koumei's feelings.  
He noticed he was staring at her when she cleared her throat and wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to hide from his penetrating gaze.  
"My Lord?" She dared to speak up and Kouha called himself to order. "Koumei filled me in on what you two have cooked up and I figured I'll come and get you. My servants are packing for me." He peeked past her, clearly curious to see how she was living right now and so Shian stepped aside.  
"Would you like to come in?"

He entered her little abode and looked around, his expression softening as he wasn't trying to uphold his façade anymore.  
"It is really, really small, don't you think?" Shian smiled.  
"It is, but it is more than enough for me."

Picking up her bag and putting it over her shoulder she looked around as well. "My Lord? Could we make a detour to the office before we're leaving? I want to say goodbye."  
A knowing grin spread across his face and he nodded.  
"Who am I to deny you to see your lover?"

In an instant Shian could feel the blood rush to her cheeks and she almost dropped her bag.  
"But Your Highness! It is nothing like that!" As an answer he only chuckled at left her room again. "Come on, I want to get this over with. I have better things to do than to play detective with a quill-driver!"  
She hurried to follow his order, walking slightly behind him as a sign of respect. "By the way, can you ride a horse? I would prefer not to walk all the way."

All the way to the inner city?, Shian wondered, having walked that route more than enough times during her life as a maid. She had indeed learned to ride, her parents deeming it important for a young noble lady. But here was the crux – being taught to ride in that sense meant she had to sit with her legs to one side, only ever trotting along at a walk, looking pleasant and nothing more. And their horses were small ones, meant for working.  
As far as she knew the horses of the palace were war horses, tall and intimidating. She hesitated before giving him an answer.  
"I'm afraid not, My Lord." He huffed in response. "Then we will ride together and you will just have to hold on tight."  
"Why aren't we using a carriage, if you allow the question?"

Kouha threw his arms in the air in annoyance. "Because I want to be back as soon as possible, if this takes longer than two days I will lose my mind. So I won't even plan for a longer trip."  
There was a certain tone in his voice, signalling her that the conversation was over. Conveniently enough, they had reached the office.

Kouha didn't waste his time with profanities like knocking – he opened the door, pushed Shian inside and then shut the door behind her, waiting outside. It could have been seen as a polite gesture, giving them their privacy, but in reality he pressed his ear to the door as soon as it was closed again.  
He didn't want to miss any part of what was surely a heartfelt goodbye.

Inside, Shian smiled nervously. "Sorry about that. I think he is not the most motivated at the prospect of having to travel around with me." Koumei had looked up from his documents and now he chuckled quietly.  
"I can assure you, it has nothing to do with you. On the contrary, he is probably delighted. Make sure he doesn't play match-maker!"

He had spoken without thinking too much and only became aware of his words when he saw Shian blinking in surprise. "What do you mean? Who could he possibly want to set me up with?"  
"Eh…that…that merchant you told me about earlier..?"  
It was a clumsy attempt to divert the conversation from himself but Shian – still not able to entertain the notion of actually getting together with the prince someday – swallowed it without becoming suspicious.  
On the other side of the door Kouha face palmed so hard he was afraid it could be heard on the inside. His brother was such a knobhead and his assistant was not a tittle better!

"I will pay attention", Shian responded, smiling to hide her disappointment.  
"So," she added and stroked her skirt awkwardly, "I think we will go now. Wish me luck that I will survive on the back of a horse." He winked at her.  
"You have my lucky quill, what can go wrong?"

Lucky quill!?, Kouha thought. The two of them really were the biggest nerds in the whole palace. While shaking his head in disbelief he had missed the rest of the conversation and jumped back hastily as he heard footsteps approaching the door.  
A moment later it swung open, revealing Shian who had a rather dreamy expression on her face.

"Let's go."  
She passed him and took the path out towards the stables, leaving Kouha with a nice view on his brother, who had propped his head up on his hand and looked equally as moony as Shian.  
"You know, for how intelligent you are, you really are incredibly oblivious. Goodbye."

And he slammed the door shut, mostly because he didn't want to argue with clueless brother again.  
Time to follow his personal Watson to the stables – and who knew, maybe he could indeed get the ball rolling.


	18. Chapter 18

By the time Kouha started to make his way outside Shian had almost reached the stables. She had seen them often from the outside, which wasn't the biggest surprise given that they weren't exactly small. Being clearly visible from the vegetable patches they were a constant presence whenever Shian had helped the gardeners harvest crops or simply when she had gathered the already picked ones.  
Or when she met with certain princes in certain nearby aviaries.

The stables were located in the far back of the palace ground which made them, as mentioned, easily noticeable. Still they were too far away to just visit without reason and because of that she had never seen the inside – not that she would have wanted.  
As far as she knew the long building bordered a big willow and was mostly build from wood and mud. She couldn't see the grassland from that angle but she was sure that the royal's horses were prancing around on it, it was nice weather after all.  
As she entered through the wooden gate she couldn't help but take a deep breath to take in the air. She didn't notice anything from the "magical other-worldly atmosphere" her horse-loving peers had told her about but the tart smell of hay and, well, horses had a grounding effect on her. It made her relax a bit, despite the prospect of riding an animal without too much skill or knowledge.

It seemed her guess had been right, the multiple boxes that lined the walls were empty except for a few stable boys who were busy shoveling hay and manure into carts. The youngest one seemed to be about fourteen years old, his black hair bound in a simple ponytail to keep it from falling into his eyes. As Shian walked in he raised his head and whistled, a sassy grin on his face.  
Being obviously too old for him Shian couldn't help but smile and she returned his compliment with a cheeky wink. Their 'conversation' ended abruptly though as the boy's older colleague – his supervisor she guessed – smacked him lightly on the back of his head. They exchanged a few words before he got back to scooping up the dirty contents on the ground and Shian went back to taking in her surroundings. She was still standing in the doorway and felt rather lost – maybe she should have asked for directions instead of playfully 'flirting'. On the other hand, directions to where? If she had asked for a horse they would have probably just laughed.

"I'm pretty sure they're saddling my horse in the back, come on."  
The sudden voice made her jump and Kouha noted her flinching with an annoyed eye-roll.  
"It's just me, not the bogeyman." Passing her he shook his head in disbelief but the slight smile on his lips signaled Shian that he was only teasing her. Despite the little shock she was rather glad that he turned up, having saved her from standing around so awkwardly. She hurried to follow him, past the empty boxes and the workers, into another room. From the entrance she hadn't seen it but apparently it acted as some kind of double door system – through the big open sliding doors Shian could see the meadow and the hills in the distance.  
What the purpose of the room was she could only guess, but judging by the tools on the walls and the trays by the wall she assumed it was to take care of the animals before or after they went outside. Here they were being bridled, cleaned and shoed – probably among other things too but that was about the extent of Shian's knowledge of horse-care.

Sure enough, the middle of the room was occupied by what Shian could only describe as a living bruise-maker on four legs. The horse was pretty tall and its dark reddish fur shimmered in the light that shone through the doors and windows. It was chafing at the bit impatiently and as one of the hostlers pulled at the bridle it shook its mane defiantly.  
There were three of them, all heavily muscled from all the hard work and tanned from many hours under the sun.  
Shian only registered them marginally though, her attention was still laying on their chosen means of transport. It appeared her stomach had decided to rush on ahead, judging by the pit in her tummy. She gulped hard and turned her head to look at her companion, hoping he would say something like "Nope, that's not my horse, mine is way smaller!"  
Of course he didn't.

Kouha seemed absolutely delighted. He approached the stallion without any hesitation and rubbed the horses neck before taking the reins out of the man's hands. Instantly the horse calmed down, maybe it could feel that it was finally about to go on a ride.  
Not bothering whether the workers were actually finished or not with bridling Kouha hooked a foot into the stirrup and within moments he sat up straight in the saddle. With the horse's back so high above the ground and Kouha not being exactly tall Shian couldn't help but feel impressed by how easily he had managed to get up there.

He bobbed up and down impatiently as they continued to fiddle with the saddle and when they were done he wrapped the reins around his hands and steered his steed next to her, an expectant look on his face.  
"Get up." Shian had to pay close attention to not snap at the prince. How the hell was she supposed to do that!? She was not exactly athletic and wearing a skirt on top of that. Instead of an answer she just blinked at him, clearly conveying that there was no way of her just magically appearing behind him on the horse.

After a few awkward seconds of staring, the man who held the reigns before took pity on poor Shian. He was tall and broad shouldered, even more so than his colleagues. Despite their similarities in stature he seemed differently than Kouen or the general who had troubled her so much. The smile under his short brown hair was soft and polite and he emitted the aura of someone who could only be described as a 'gentle giant'.

He approached the unlikely trio and bowed his head respectfully in front of Kouha, before turning to Shian. "Would you allow me to help you, My Lady?"  
Being addressed so formally caused her to blush. Sure, she was accompanying the prince on his horse, but her maid uniform should make it clear that she was no noble. She was not used to being complimented and together with that boy from before she could feel the boost to her self-esteem almost physically. She returned his kind smile automatically and nodded.

"That would be highly appreciated. But I'm afraid I have no idea how to sit with a skirt with someone else."  
"Well obviously behind me, otherwise I won't see where I'm going.", Kouha chimed in, leaning down a bit to join the conversation.

The hostler acknowledged his comment with a nod but he was apparently low-key ignoring the prince and Shian followed his example – Kouha wasn't being exactly helpful.  
"Behind the saddle, both legs to one side. I'd say that would be the easiest way. Careful now." He grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up as if she were just a sack of fodder. Seconds later Shian found herself up on the back of the horse, amazed at how easy he had put her there. Without even thinking her muscles reacted and she felt herself snapping into the right position, her body remembering all her lessons. It calmed her down a bit, a least she wasn't totally helpless.

The short feeling of ease vanished rather quickly though as she felt the horse shift beneath her. She had never ridden without a saddle and it didn't feel very secure. "About time", Kouha murmured in front of her. "Now hold on tightly."

Shian wrapped her arms around his middle, locking her arms in front of him. It felt weird, his stature being almost as slender as hers, but she was glad nonetheless to be able to grab onto something. And the way he had just…jumped onto the horse's back made her feel confident in his skills too.  
The sound of a tongue clicking snapped her out of her observations.  
Almost instantly the horse followed the prince's command and Shian braced herself as they picked up speed. Apparently Kouha was of the opinion that normal gates and paths were beneath his dignity – he spurred the horse right onto the meadow and from there they carried out a daring jump right over the fence and onto the stony trail on the other side.  
The impact sent shocks through her spine and she was glad that she had clenched her teeth in advance – biting her own tongue now seemed like the exact opposite of pleasant.  
Her exact train of thought was way less articulated though, the moment breezing past her in the blink of an eye.

They followed the trail and Shian pressed her face against Kouha's back, the smell of the soap they used for the laundry mixing with whatever oils he used for his hair. She didn't dare look up, she didn't dare loose her grip, she just held on for dear life – or at least that was what if felt like. But although it was a terrifying experience, as the wind shot through her hair and they accelerated even more, she thought she did feel a bit detached from reality. It was a nice feeling.

When they finally stopped, Shian couldn't tell if they had been riding for a few seconds or for multiple days. Her hips complained from the twisted position they had been in and her fingers hurt from the tight grip. The horse's flanks glistened with sweat and Kouha seemed out of breath too, although she suspected that was more due to his excitement.  
She took a deep breath and straightened her back, releasing Kouha from her clutch. He didn't even complain about her holding on so closely and she was thankful for that – he must have been able to feel her racing heartbeat and decided that this was not the right time for teasing words.

Now that she took in her surroundings she realized that she didn't actually care to ask where they were going. By now the question was unnecessary too as she recognized the place easily. Kouha had stopped the horse in one of the main streets that lead to the market place.

The actual market was closed today so there weren't quite as many people on the street but the ones that were certainly looked something between terrified and highly curious. The prince, in the middle of the capital with a maid behind him?  
Kouha didn't seem to care about the people staring at him, he was used to the attention. Instead he observed his surroundings rather curiously and Shian guessed that he hadn't actually had a lot of contact with the common people, despite his habit of taking in all kind of misfits, herself included.

Given that Rakushou was the capital of the Empire a lot of nobles and rich merchants called the town their home. Their giant mansions were always an impressive sight, even for someone working in the palace. Had they actually visited the part of the city where the upper class had accumulated maybe Kouha would have shown less interest.  
But instead they had entered the part where everyone else lived. Tanners, tailors, writers, innkeepers. The common folk.  
The streets were cobbled with rough stones and the houses were crooked and leaned into each other. A creek of mud trailed through the middle of the road.

Those were the streets Shian had spent so much time in during her time as a street woman and later too, on her many trips to the market with her colleagues. She knew them quite well and it was interesting to watch the prince's facial play as his gaze wandered over everything. His mimic ranged from slightly amused over genuinely curious to downright disgusted.

"So. Where do we go?"  
He asked out of the blue, startling her a bit. He had turned his head towards her, his expression now clearly demanding.  
"Forgive me My Lord, but why do you expect me to know that?"  
"If one of us knows how to find a merchant it's you, isn't it!?"  
Shian could hardly argue with that so she simply nodded. "We better descend then, riding a horse through one of the main streets of the city is prone to cause some damage."  
Seeing his sour expression she added: "Or only I will dismount and lead the horse." To her surprise Kouha shook his head. "You are right."  
He swung out of the saddle elegantly and landed softly on the stones. Then he stretched out his hand, further deepening Shian's bafflement. Hesitantly she took his hand and slid from the horse's back, steading herself with the help of Kouha's grip.

"Thank you" She curtsied deeply, earning herself a scoff from him. "Don't be silly."  
And with that he gripped the reins and started moving towards the market place, leaving Shian behind. She had to stifle her laughter – in a weird way Kouha was a mixture of his two older brothers and it showed. Especially now where he apparently decided to take the lead without having any idea where they would be going.

Which brought Shian back to the problem at hand. It appeared that Kouha had left her with the responsibility of finding a lead and she wasn't quite sure where to start. Her best bet would be the inn by the towns square. It was one of the nobler ones and only the more wealthy merchants put up at the place. Given that they were searching for a far traveled trader who made their money with medicine and herbs it would make sense to search at such a place.  
While making her mental plan Shian had started to follow Kouha, trying hard to ignore the looks and whispers from the people around her. She caught up with him quickly.  
"My Lord? I think I have an idea. There is an inn not far away which sometimes acts as a hub for the upper class merchants. Maybe someone there knows about his whereabouts."  
Kouha nodded, clearly turning over the idea in his mind. Shian was half expecting an elaborate plan or some kind of intricate response but instead he finally shrugged.  
"Sounds good to me."

By now they had reached the market place and Shian automatically turned her steps towards their destination. The inn stood out from the rest of the houses a bit due to its brighter, cleaner bricks and the giant sign above the door.  
It was made from metal and the craftsmanship was delicate. A slender vase was depicted on it, its content being wheat ears instead of flowers. The mild breeze caused it to sway slightly and Shian could almost see the metal fibres move in the wind.  
"The flower vase pub?" Shian could hear Kouha whisper the name next to her and she couldn't help but smile at the skepticism in his voice. She couldn't blame him.

"I will get someone to care for the horse, if you allow?" At her proposal he looked up at their mount. The horse seemed to return his look and turned its ears, looking rather pleased at the prospect to Shian's untrained eyes.  
"Do that. Will you just have me wait here in the meantime?"  
His tone was mocking and it was easy to see why – although he left her in charge of the operation, there was still no reason to believe he would be ordered around by her. Nevertheless Shian felt like she could make good use of his laziness and so she simply nodded and smiled. "It will only be a minute. But if you prefer to enter with me and conduct the investigation yourself I will be happy to stand back."  
Kouha rolled his eyes but shook his head, just as she had predicted. "Go ahead. I will continue standing around here looking decoratively."  
With the corners of her mouth twitching with stifled laughter she turned her back to him and entered the pub.

The atmosphere changed as if someone had flipped a switch. It changed from the overall quiet, sunny ambiance of a mild almost-summer day to the loud, crowded setting of a market day.  
Given that it was early noon the voices weren't distorted by alcohol and Shian was quite happy about that – she had her fair share of bad experiences with drunken men. From what she could hear over the background noise the merchants were doing what they were doing best – haggling and praising their wares. Only that now they weren't trying to get some unsuspecting citizen to buy they products but rather their colleagues.

As Shian made her way through the taproom she let her gaze wander – she was well acquainted with the locality from her time selling her body. Thankfully those days were long over now.  
A lot could change in a couple of years but it seemed as if the pub had remained mostly the same. The aisle she walked down was lined with tables on both sides, heavily packed with men and women of all ages and ethnicities. Their clothes were as diverse as their skin colours but they all were fancy, the merchants trying to show off their accomplishments in front of their peers. They didn't pay much attention to Shian, she was just a maid in their eyes, her clothing matching what one would expect from the servant of a moderately wealthy man.

Although she had noted that the general chatter seemed sober enough she could smell alcohol in the air, together with some meal that most definitely contained rice and tomatoes. Working in the kitchen for so long Shian had become quite skilled at distinguishing food just by smell. And it certainly wasn't a bad scent either, according to her quietly rumbling stomach. While she did have a nice breakfast the ride had been strenuous and so it was no wonder she felt hunger creep up in her already. But she had endured many days not eating anything except for breakfast due to tight schedules so she swallowed hard and ignored her body as best as possible.

She hurried up a bit, the narrow room always ending up being longer than one might expect from the look from the door. She watched the light that shined through the small windows dance across the light wooden floorboards, noting how it mixed with the candlelight the further she entered. There was a lot of dust mixed with it too and Shian instantly felt the urge to clean it up before it settled in every nook and cranny. She had to remind herself why she was here.

As Shian finally reached the bar she was eyeing the stairs in the background before she even turned to look at the bartender. She knew that they lead up to the rooms the owner rented out and she hoped that their missing person had maybe spent some time here recently.  
The man behind the counter had watched her come down the aisle, a glass in one hand and a surprisingly clean rug in the other. He was tall and slender, his spindly fingers clutching the glass as if he was afraid Shian would try to wrench it from his grip. The black hair that hung down his back was thin and looked as if he had dunked it in a grease pot. Surprisingly enough, the man seemed to be not much older than Shian herself. That might have been the reason why she didn't know him too.

Remembering her manners she put on a smile and bent her head, even though by now she could have technically expected him to bow before her. Not that she wanted that.  
"Good day to you. My master is waiting outside with his horse, would you send someone to take care of it and bring it to the stables?"  
Seeing as the pub was a meeting spot for merchants with all sorts of carts – some pulled by horses – it was no wonder that it indeed had a comparatively large barn in the back, on the side that didn't face the town square. It was rarely ever completely deserted, a lot of merchants brought their own servants to act as guards for their wares. Additionally there were also mostly one or two stable boys, young children earning a tiny bit extra to bring home to their families.  
When the lanky bartender answered Shian was ripped out of her thoughts. His voice was surprisingly deep for his stature and she had to pay attention not to crack a smile.  
"One minute, Miss."

He put down rug and glass and walked around the counter before disappearing through a side door. He seemed to be an alright guy, but maybe not the sharpest tool in the shed. Shian wasn't too surprised at that, why would the inn's owner employ a highly educated person just to serve some drinks?  
While she waited she admired the simple but pretty carvings in the wooden countertop. They were easy patterns and she traced one with her index finger, the rough wood making for an interesting sensation. She barely made it from one side to the other when the bartender returned, a man behind him who was the complete opposite of him. He was short and round, a patch of almost grey hair on top of his head. It was short and bristly and Shian had to immediately think of the brooms with which she used to sweep the kitchen. Under the pale thatch was a red face, the bulbous nose in its middle mirroring the stature of its owner.  
Shian recognized him instantly as the owner of the inn. His name was Tao and as it seemed, he didn't change a bit since she last saw him.  
He had never personally employed her services but with his clients being mainly men, Shian's presence had not been exactly bad for his business so there was no ill will between the two of them.

A smile spread across his wide face and she knew that he had recognized her too. He wiped his hands on the apron that stretched across his belly and shoved the young man in front of him to the side. "Look at who is back!"  
His voice was equally as deep as the bartender's but other than his low rasp it boomed through the taproom, making the present merchants pause for a second before returning to their chatter. He examined her and then nodded contently.  
"It seems you escaped the streets."  
Shian smiled in response and nodded. "I did indeed and I am eternally thankful for it. But I am afraid I can't chat long, my master is waiting outside, and he is no patient man."  
She didn't know herself why she kept Kouha's identity a secret. Maybe because she didn't want to arouse the attention of the merchants, but sooner or later they would notice it anyway.

Tao nodded again. "Usually I wouldn't take care of that myself, but I am a bit understaffed right now."  
He lowered his voice. "It may seem full now, but I am struggling to fill my rooms. So I do have to cut back on some things."  
The smile returned to his face and Shian could almost sense what was coming. "Eh, I don't reckon you would be willing to help me get clientele again, do you?"

Shian knew he didn't mean to mock her or something. It simply didn't occur to him that maybe those years she spent sleeping with strange men were a horrible time of her life. He didn't consider the possibility that she still had nightmares about all of their touches and that the way they treated her left her vulnerable to abuse. He didn't care that she had been nothing more than a young girl who had lost everything when she started to lurk around the populated areas of the city. For him, she was just another woman in a world of men.

She fought down the feeling of discomfort and allowed herself a shy smile. "I'm afraid my current employer wouldn't like that too much."  
Would he though? Koumei had expressed his approval for her trying to survive through whatever means were necessary, but she didn't know what he actually thought about it. Before she could get too deep into the matter again she called herself out – Kouha was still waiting outside.  
"If you would come with me.", she finally said and passed Tao to traverse the taproom once more.  
The older man followed her, his waddling stride reminding her of a plump bird. The way back seemed much shorter now, maybe because she didn't have to deal with all the impressions overwhelming her. She laid a hand on the rough wooden door and pushed it open, revealing the nice warm day behind it.

As she stepped out of the door and over the threshold, she could hear the man behind her gasp in utter shock. Maybe she should have warned him after all.

Now it was too late.


	19. Chapter 19

As Shian and Tao stepped outside Kouha lifted his head.  
He leaned against his horse, arms crossed nonchalantly and his gaze piercing. He noticed immediately that Shian hadn't told the man behind her about his identity.  
Admittedly it wasn't that grand of a feat given that the man had squealed in shock upon seeing him and was now as pale as the sheets in the hospital wing.

Staring at him blatantly Kouha could now observe a very interesting play of colors on his face as it turned from white to dark red to some kind of ashen grey.  
He decided to put an end to the poor guy's misery and pushed himself away from his horse. It whinnied quietly as its master left and sidled about for a bit before deciding that it wasn't worth the effort.

When Kouha approached, Shian bowed her head respectfully, acknowledging his higher rank through the gesture.  
That was nothing in comparison to Tao though who, upon seeing the prince draw nearer, flung himself at the ground by his feet.  
Now Shian was no stranger to overly devote gestures as she herself tended to overreact in the most inappropriate situations. But speaking just from a visual standpoint – there was a huge difference between a rather fragile not-too-tall woman dropping to her knees and a small but round person just plummeting to earth like a human shaped meteorite.  
With an unpleasant thud Tao hit the pavement and both, Shian and Kouha alike, grimaced at the thought of what it must have felt like. They exchanged a quick glance before looking down at the ground again.

Tao had pressed his forehead against the pavement and managed to look rather flat given the circumference of his belly.  
"My Lord! What an honor to have you here at my humble abode. I am sorry for not inviting you in sooner; I had no idea-"  
He was abruptly cut off by Kouha's quiet but clearly audible sigh.  
"Don't bother, it's fine. But you better redeem yourself by taking adequate care of my horse and by getting us something decent to eat. I'm practically starving."

It was rather impressive to watch as Tao heaved himself to his feet so fast that Shian didn't even had time to sigh in relief at the prospect of some food. Once stable on his feet again he bowed again, deeply and long.  
"Of course, My Lord. If you'll allow I will lead your steed to the stables while you head inside. Please choose any place you'd like and just tell my assistant what it is you would like to eat."

Kouha just nodded in response and walked right past the hunched over man and over to Shian who still stood near the door kind of awkwardly. She hadn't been sure what to do and now it seemed as if it wasn't necessary for her to take action.  
She stepped back and opened the door for the prince, who waltzed right over the threshold and into the crowded taproom.

Instantly everyone got very quiet and all eyes laid on the young man. He was not as intimidating as his oldest brother and still he had the kind of aura that led people to notice him. He was just brimming with confidence and Shian couldn't help but admire Kouha for that.  
She herself would have faltered under all the stares long ago.

Hesitantly she followed Kouha inside the inn, closing the door behind her – Tao would obviously not traverse the room with a horse next to him.  
As soon as the door clicked, life returned to the guests as they hastily started to shuffle to their feet, eager to pay their respects to their superior – except for a few foreigners who were quite confused as to why their colleagues acted so submissive in front of a lanky teenager in fancy clothes.

Said teenager had watched the commotion with delight, basking himself in all the attention. Before everyone rose fully though he lifted his hands in a stopping manner and addressed the room as a whole. His voice was calm and strong, a clear difference to how he talked with his brothers.  
"I honor your eagerness to great me properly but seeing as I am not here to attend to royal issues I will be content with you remaining seated."

His eyes wandered through the room briefly before stopping at a table near the bar where a handful darker skinned people resided – their white hair and airy clothes declaring their country of origin as Heliohapt.  
The group consisted of three men and a woman, all middle aged and sturdy from all their travels. They seemed slightly uncomfortable as they didn't know Kouha the way the citizens did and now he was staring right at them.  
With swift steps he crossed through the taproom and approached the table, the eyes of the locals and Shian following behind him.

He had put on a smile. It was not impolite or condescending but it conveyed exactly that he saw himself as superior.  
"I have business with the owner of this tavern, so a seat near the bar would be advantageous to me."  
He hadn't necessarily ordered them to do anything but his intention was clear and not wanting any trouble the traders hurriedly obliged. They bowed their heads and gathered their plates before getting up to search a new place to eat.  
For Kouha the situation was resolved with that and he simply plopped himself down on the crude wooden bench, the bar in his view.

Shian on the other hand witnessed one of the better aspects of being human.  
While people could be often cruel and unforgiving when it came to strangers and rivals, the other merchants displayed a small but nice gesture of kindness.

The inn was pretty crowded and every table was occupied, so the heliohaptian visitors were standing in the aisle a bit forlorn. Not for long though as the crowd began to shift in unison but silence, as if following an inaudible signal.  
They squeezed together, bags wandered to the floor to make space and seconds later all four people had found a new place, the relief apparent on their faces. A moment later the usual chatter started again, albeit a bit more muted, leaving Shian with a small smile on her face.

Finally she turned and sat down across from the prince who seemed oblivious to what had happened.

"So", he started the conversation, "how about we eat something, interrogate the round one and then hopefully head off to find that missing merchant?"  
Shian chuckled slightly at his nickname for Tao and nodded.  
"Eating something does indeed sound nice. And if Tao doesn't know any information we can still ask the others here, I am sure they will be happy to help."  
"Probably", Kouha muttered and turned his head to get another look at the guests.  
Some were still shooting him stealthy looks, not scornful but simply curious. Even though he was not the most considerate person on the planet, Kouha did have a reputation with the locals. The fact that he had a habit of taking in people from the streets was a trait most people valued in a person of power.

He turned back but before he could answer the black haired bartender approached their table. The poor guy had been obviously briefed by Tao on who would await him – his hands were shaking badly and he clutched his cleaning rag in both hands in an unsuccessful attempt to hide his nervousness.  
When he reached their seats he bowed deeply, his forehead bumping against the edge of the table, as he had apparently misjudged the distance.  
A small laugh escaped the prince and the bartender was red under his greasy hair when he rose. He cleared his throat silently, his deep voice higher than usually.

"Please forgive the wait, My Lord. What may I bring you?"  
His question sounded a bit awkward as he was fumbling with the words but Kouha didn't seem to mind.  
"Just get me something with meat and figs. Nothing spicy."  
The young man nodded, clearly at a loss for what "something with meat and figs" might mean.  
"What...what about something to drink, My Lord?"  
A shrug was his answer. "Whatever. No alcohol though, I'll have to ride later." He winked and the bartender looked as if Kouha had just sprouted horns or something.

After some awkward staring he turned his attention towards Shian, who had listened to their conversation with slight amusement.  
"I'll just take the same; there is no need to do something extra for me." She gave him a diffident smile and the young bartender seemed to grow even more embarrassed.  
He mumbled something about fruits before bowing again and taking his leave. On his way to the kitchen he stumbled over the rough floor boards and almost fell, his only rescue being the joist near the bar. Looking around nervously he made sure no one saw him and then he disappeared into through the door that presumably led into the kitchen.

Shian had watched him until she couldn't see him anymore, so she noticed Kouha's cheeky grin only afterwards.  
"He's into you."  
The remark made her roll her eyes before she could even remember that maybe that wasn't the best idea in the presence of a royal. Her reaction wasn't met with disdain though as Kouha just laughed at her. "You don't have to like it, but it's true."  
"I doubt that, he is simply shy. I wouldn't blame him, with you one never knows what will happen next."

Kouha raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think you can talk to me in the same way you talk to Koumei!?"  
Following his words Shian first turned red and then pale. But before she could speak up he shook his head and the smile return on his face.  
"I'm just messing with you. It's so refreshing to have a normal conversation with someone that isn't a sibling. Or well…one of my servants. Not that I don't like being worshipped…", and at that a blissful expression darted over his face, "but having someone return my wit is nice too."

He leaned back and played with his chopsticks while observing the woman in front of him. Her face color had returned to normal and now she appeared to be sulking, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her bottom lip slightly shifted. While he didn't fancy her the way his brother did, he did start to see what Koumei saw in the young woman.  
She was clever and sharp underneath her shy and reserved demeanor.

While Kouha was musing about the qualities that qualified her as a potential partner to his -admittedly not always easy to deal with – brother Shian pondered how things changed.  
By now she was on practically friendly terms with two of the princes which still blew her mind. She went from the maid that wished to vanish into the ground every time she saw a member of the royal family to someone who became confident speaking her thoughts to them. Well, confident was a strong word given that her anxiety still cartwheeled in the back of her brain whenever she opened her mouth but it was getting manageable.

Both Kouha and Shian returned to the present when the bartender came back, carefully balancing a tray in front of him. Two plates rested on it, crude ceramic ones, but both could see that the cook did their best to arrange the food in an appealing manner. Shian had to smile a bit – her palace experience made her notice that they didn't do a particularly good job. But it was the thought that counted.  
When the young man put the tray down in the table, the plates quietly clinking against each other, Shian inhaled the hearty smell that rose from it. Palace food was excellent, even if it was just the leftovers the servants ate, but there was something special about a meal prepared with less skill but more passion.

A quick glance towards Kouha made her chuckle and she quickly tried to stifle it with a cough. The prince's expression made clear that he didn't share Shian's opinion on inn-made food. He was quite a bit spoiled so maybe he did just assume it would be the same quality as what he was used to.  
He did get his grimace under control quickly though and simply took his plate from the tray before the bartender could get to it. It left him with a bit of a dumbfounded expression, his hand in mid-air, giving Shian the possibility to snatch her own plate.  
She beamed at him: "Thank you! It looks delicious."  
If he hadn't been the prince Shian would have probably nudged Kouha against the shin because of the doubt on his face but luckily the bartender didn't see it. He bowed stiffly and turned to leave.

After he was gone Kouha took his chopsticks and poked around in his food.  
"Common people, common meals", he muttered to himself and then dug in before Shian could give her own two cents about his remark. She just shook her head in amusement and began her meal as well.

There really had been no reason for Kouha's skepticism; the dish was simple but good. Additionally an empty stomach always made food taste better and so they finished without talking, only once interrupted by the bartender who brought their drinks.

"Alright. Now that I don't have the feeling anymore that Koumei's pigeons are pecking at my stomach walls we can go back to the task at hand."  
Kouha put down his chopsticks and gulped down the rest of his grape juice. Then he fiddled at the pouch that hung at his side and produced a small bag from it, the clinking of coins audible through the soft leather.  
"I will go talk to your innkeeper friend and you can ask around the taproom if people know something. Sounds good? Great."

And he got up before Shian could even acknowledge his plan, much less agree to it. But she didn't have any objections anyway so she simply nodded and watched him vanish into the door behind the counter. After the pink shimmer of his hair vanished in the unknown behind Shian got up herself, her view wandering around the room.  
Kouha's departure had stirred up the attention of the patrons again and she cursed herself for turning red as she was suddenly met with the stares of many curious people. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself.  
Alright, who of those people looked like they might now something?

She skipped the heliohaptian traders, the possibility of them having information about a native merchant was pretty low, but right next to them two men were sitting on the bench near the wall.  
They leaned against one another; hands entangled and seemed to just listen calmly to everything going on around them. Shian wasn't sure why exactly she felt drawn to them but they looked nice and old enough to be in the business for quite some time already.

As she squeezed past the dark-skinned woman the older man lifted his head, meeting her gaze. His eyes were surrounded by laughter lines and she could see the curiosity in them as she approached.  
His partner formed quite the contrast to him, his dark hair clashing against his light blonde locks and his pale complexion standing out next to his dark brown skin tone. In a way they reminded Shian of the yin-yang symbol and the smile crept on her lips all on its own.  
"Excuse me, but I am searching for someone and was wondering if maybe you could help me?"  
The younger man finally lifted his head as well and straightened his back, pushing himself away in an upright position.  
"Please, sit down"

He scooted over a bit which wasn't easy given that he was right next to his partner but sooner or later they managed to make a bit of space for Shian.  
She gathered her skirt to avoid creases and sat down, bent forward so she could see her new dialogue partners.  
"My name is Shian, would mind telling me yours?"

They exchanged a short look and Shian had to remind herself that she was very obvious in the company of a prince. People would be careful around her.  
The moment was over quickly though as the older of the two cracked a smile and answered: "I'm Kuron and this is Yun. We're not from here though I'm afraid, so I don't know we could help."

Shian shook her head slowly, thinking for a moment.  
"I am searching for a missing merchant who was supposed to deliver to the palace. He didn't show up. So I had hopes that maybe someone here knew of something."  
With the way Yun sat up even straighter and how his eyes suddenly widened Shian couldn't help but think of a puppy perking its ears. She interpreted it as a good sign.  
When he spoke he drew his words a bit, as if wanting to heighten the tension.  
"This merchant wasn't by chance supposed to deliver medicine, was he?"

Shian almost couldn't believe the luck she had and she hurried to nod at the question.  
"He was. Apparently he is already two days late and not only are we worried for his wellbeing, we're also running out of supplies."  
She worded her explanation carefully, even though the two men seemed nice giving out information about problems in the palace was a risky deed.  
The two of them exchanged another glance and this time Kuron replied: "We trade spices among other things, so there is significant overlap with medicine. We know him; we obtain a few of our products from the same company overseas."

Hastily Shian fiddled with her pouch for a bit; she could barely open it due to her excitement. Finally she managed to take her clipboard out of it and she hastily readied her quill with a bit of ink. It was a dangerous undertaking, the two sat so far against the wall that the table was out of reach. Shian had to balance the open inkpot on her knees.

"Alright, I'm all ears!"  
A fine smile crept onto Yun's lips before he answered. "What is in it for us?"  
The question took her by surprise but the two were business men after all, so she should have expected them to not just give her something for free.  
"As you know I'm here on behalf of the palace, so name your price and I will see what I can do."

"A contract!" They answered simultaneously, Kuron's darker, stronger voice almost drowning out Yun's.  
They struggled for a few second who would get to talk and finally Kuron elaborated: "Make us your official suppliers for spices and herbs."

Oh, it was a clever move. Being the sole provider of a certain type of product for such a steady consumer as the palace would get them a lot of opportunities and of course money. Shian didn't have to think long either – a wave of flashbacks to many indecent offers from their current vendor hit her as she remembered the vulgar man.  
"I am not authorized to grant such a thing, but I will certainly speak with the man responsible and if your wares are as high-quality as our current ones I believe you got yourself a deal."  
The two of them seemed content enough with the answer and Yun continued to fill in Shian on what they knew about the vanished merchant.

"The last time we saw him was in a small village a few hours from. We were just passing through, taking a last break before arriving here. He stayed in the same inn we had dinner in." "Which wasn't exactly difficult, given that it was the only inn in the village!" Kuron chimed in, almost cutting off his partner.  
"Yeah yeah", he grumbled in return before continuing.  
"He was staying there because he caught some kind of disease, which left him bedridden. So no traveling. We noticed him because he was quite upset about the fact that he couldn't finish his deliveries"  
"Kind of ironic, that the medicine supplier fell ill", Shian mused, the tip of the quill hovering over the paper. She had dutifully noted down what the two had been saying.

Her response were two nodding heads and a short period of silence. Apparently the two had finished their explanation, but there was one more thing to clear up.  
"Can you tell me which village it was? If we're lucky he is still there so we can meet up with him."

Kuron nodded and bent down to grab his leather backpack, when the people between them and the aisle parted like the waves of the red sea.  
It seemed Kouha had returned and judging from his sour expression he wasn't really pleased with whatever Tao had told him.  
Not caring that there were other people around him he strutted around the table, joining Shian and the two men on the bench. Behind him the merchants flowed back together, their curiosity barely contained.

The bench was fully occupied with the trio, so the prince simply shooed Shian of it with a wave of his hand.  
Hurrying to comply she got up – and instantly regretted it, as she felt liquid seeping into the fabric of her skirt. The inkpot, totally forgotten, had tipped and emptied its wet contents onto her lap and shins, the dark blue fluid standing out against the washed-out white of her uniform. Shian didn't even dare to look down; she just closed her eyes and sighed deeply. She was no clumsy person, but of course it would have to happen now, when she had no possibility to change or clean up.

Apart from the silent dripping she could hear two sets of shocked gasps and another person silently chuckling to himself. It didn't take a genius to guess who that was.  
Opening one eye she glanced at her surroundings, at the shocked faces of her new acquaintances and the wide grin of her superior. She sighed again.

"I am sorry. I hope none of you got any stains."  
When she kneeled down to pick up the now empty inkpot she could see the spot better. Although it was less a spot and more a whole area that was dyed black now. And the feeling was truly not pleasant, the damp fabric clinging to her bare legs.  
Her comment didn't receive an answer and as she rose again she could see that Yun had saved her clipboard and her few belongings from the inky avalanche. Relief hit her, losing Bert to such a mishap would have been the cherry on top of the dunghill.

"From your desperate expression I assume you didn't pack anything to change?"  
It was more of a statement than a question but Shian nodded nonetheless. Now that the shock over what happened was over the embarrassment crept in and she stood there, helplessly looking down at the floor.  
"There."

Kouha had flung his pouch at her and Shian barely managed to catch it. The inkpot fell down in the process again, but now that it was empty she didn't care too much.  
"Get changed and then return, I'm starting to lose my patience with this whole ordeal."

Then his eyes wandered over to Kuron und Yun, who just now seemed to realize that the third prince of the Kou Empire had joined the conversation. Before they could say anything though, Shian took it upon herself to introduce them.  
"They know about the whereabouts of the missing merchant. It appears he is stuck with an illness in a village not too far from here."  
She didn't say anything about their deal, which was something for Koumei to resolve.

At this point Kuron continued, bowing his head while he spoke. "We were about to show his exact destination on a map we have."  
Kouha nodded, but still he portended Shian to take off to change.  
"Show me then, I'm the one steering the horse after all."

His voice made clear that he really didn't want to stick around much longer, so Shian pressed his pouch against her chest with one hand, gathered her dirty skirt with the other, and took off. She knew there was a room behind the counter, a mixture of a pantry and a closet. Tao probably wouldn't mind her using it for a few seconds.  
Neither Tao nor the bartender were around so she simply slipped through the door.  
The inside was dim and smelled musty. It didn't have any windows, so the stale scent must have come from years of not airing out the room.

Not wanting to stay in the cubby for too long Shian hastily opened the pouch to fish out whatever clothes the prince had in there for her to use.  
After rummaging in it for a while she found the piece of fabric she was searching for and her heart plummeted to her boots. She wasn't sure what exactly she expected, but she should have guessed that it was the same thing he always wore when he was out.

What she held in her hands now was a really short pair of pants, bound with ribbons on either side of the legs. It was too dark to see in color, but she had washed them often enough to know the deep red by heart.  
There was no way she could run around with so much leg out, but what choice did she have? She didn't want to continue wearing her ink-wet dress and the way the prince had told her to change had been an order for sure.  
Very, very hesitantly she untied the ribbon around her waist and started to slip out of her clothes.

The white dress that formed the lowest layer of her outfit was beyond saving, even with her sulfur-containing solution it would never wash out again. Her red, sleeveless shirt could be salvaged though and she was glad about it too – although the prince wasn't any smaller than she was, she simply couldn't have worn his top too. The difference in…chest circumference was just too grand.  
Shian gathered the ruined dress and her starched apron – no use wearing that over the shorts – and carefully put them on. The fabric was so smooth and silken, even her fancy new attire felt rough in comparison.  
After fumbling with the tiny ribbons for a bit she was done, so the only thing left to do was putting her shirt back on and facing the outside world.  
Easier said than done.

With the ink-stained part of the dress folded inwards and the entire bindle pressed against her chest Shian slipped out the door again. She felt incredibly naked, almost her entire legs bare and for the world to see. The last time she had seen a woman similarly exposed was when she still worked near various brothels, and she really didn't want to recall this type of experience! It was good that the two merchants probably didn't care about women in this sense anyway, no matter how much or little clothing they were wearing.

To her dismay the bartender had returned. When she closed the door behind her he turned to face her, surprise on his face. The expression only deepened when he noticed her look and he turned red instantly, as if someone had emptied a bucket of cranberry juice over his head.  
Shian didn't dare say anything; she just gave him a shy smile and hurried to join Kouha at the table.

It seemed he finally succeeded in chasing the other customers away, Shian couldn't see them anyway. The table had been occupied by the prince, Yun and Kuron, the three of them standing around it. A huge, albeit crudely drawn map laid out flat between them and Yun was apparently in the process of explaining the way to Kouha.

Speaking of whom, as soon as Shian stepped closer he raised his head, letting his eyes wander over her. His gaze was so piercing that Shian's skincolor started to compete with that of the bartender and to escape her predicament, she rather rudely shoved his pouch back into his arms.  
"Thank you", she mumbled, not sure if she was actually glad about his action. To her surprise he didn't mention her newfound freedom in any way, he simply tucked the pouch away and pointed at the map.  
"There it is."

Stepping closer, Shian took a better look at the map. The village he pointed at laid northeast of the capital and was marked by a red dot, with tiny characters next to it. They spelled out the name of the village and as it resonated inside her head, Shian felt the blood drain from her face. Of course.  
She would have to go back to the place of her greatest sorrow.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

While Tao fetched the horse from the stables, Kouha and Shian waited outside. The former maid was oddly quiet, her thoughts keeping her voice hostage. Kouha didn't care too much, but he did notice the change that took place after he announced their next destination.

Parting from Yun and Kuron didn't take long, Shian just jotted down their names and how to reach them and then they were off to go their own ways.  
Additionally to her keeping quiet Shian was also fighting with the embarrassment over her clothes, so she partially hid behind the young prince, who didn't seem to mind her predicament at all. Maybe he didn't understand either; he was running around in this daring outfit of his all the time after all.

It didn't take long for Tao to emerge from behind the inn, the horse by the lead. As far as Shian could tell it seemed rather impatient and her guess was confirmed as it broke free just meters in front of the two. Although the inn keeper was not a weak man and his sheer mass alone gave him an advantage, the horse didn't have any trouble escaping his grip.  
It leapt forwards and with a high pitched squeak Shian dove out of the way. Not so Kouha, who simply opened his arms and let his steed charge at him. Having just stumbled to the ground Shian only saw it out of her peripheral vision so she wasn't sure if it really happened.  
But it seemed as if Kouha just wrapped his arms around the muscular neck of the animal and with a quick swing he sat upright in the saddle. Instantly the horse calmed down, looking downright content with its own actions.  
Its expression almost matched that of his owner, who looked down at Shian equally as satisfied.

Shian on the other hand remembered another problem. Last time she only managed to get up the horse with the help of one of the other servants and Tao was way too short to heave her up on a table, yet alone a war horse.  
First things first, she told herself and got up. A look at her legs confirmed what she could already feel – in addition to the pale blue ink stains, there were red patches of sore skin where she had scraped herself against the rough stones. With a sigh she lifted her head to look at Kouha who at this moment seemed to remember the problem as well.  
His eyes shifted between the back of the horse and the helpless servant and for a second they just exchanged a clueless glance.  
"Alright, I guess there is no other way". Kouha finally broke the silence and slid of the horse's back again. Then he bent down in front of Shian while entangling his fingers to provide her with something to step onto.

Not really believing her eyes, Shian hesitantly hooked a foot onto his hands and steadied herself against the horse, which, now that it was reunited with its partner, stood perfectly still. She took a deep breath and with a boost from the prince, she finally managed to get up behind the saddle. Now that she was up there all alone it seemed even scarier than before. Not for too long though, as Kouha followed after her so effortless, she got embarrassed all over again. "Thank you, my Lord", she mumbled quietly after he had settled into the saddle.  
His response was him shaking his head. "View it as compensation for those scratches."

He gathered the reins and steered the horse in the right direction. They were still deep inside the city so he kept a slow pace, careful not to endanger the civilians. It gave Shian the opportunity to find a halfway comfortable sitting position. She would have to remain like this for a couple of hours after all.

The slow speed allowed for a conversation too, something Shian wouldn't have dared during their hasty trip there, out of fear of biting her tongue.  
"Would you mind explaining to me why you look as if we're about to head into a cave filled with angry hornets since you saw that map?"

The question came out of the blue; Shian hadn't expected the prince to be so attentive.  
"The village we're heading to is my birth place", she finally mumbled. Kouha knew about her life on the streets – he had been the one to rescue her from it after all – so she did not see the need to elaborate any further. Thankfully he seemed to pick up on the fact that she was not too keen on delving deeper, so he just nodded to himself.  
"Will that influence your ability to do your job?"

The way he said it didn't carry any disdain in it; still Shian felt a wave of shame well up in her. Hastily she shook her head, before realizing that Kouha couldn't see her with his eyes fixed on the road beneath the horse.  
"No, My Lord. I will manage. If you allow the question, what exactly are we going to do once we're there? We can't exactly force the merchant into health."  
Kouha pondered the problem for a bit. "It will be fine if we just take the wares, right? He can cure himself all he wants and then return to wherever he gets his products from. No time lost."  
The way he said it really sounded incredibly simple.  
"Do you really think we would be able to transport everything with just a horse?"  
"Oh, how much can it be!?"

Clearly the young prince imagined a backpack full of Aloe Vera or something similar and Shian had to chuckle to herself. "We'll see. At the very least we can get the most important things. I packed the list Liang gave me."  
"Who?"  
"The head physician."  
"Hm."

And that was the last thing they heard from each other for a while; as they had reached the outskirts of town. A few shanties ducked alongside the city walls, before civilization made way for vast bamboo forests. As soon as the crude cobblestones under the horse's hooves turned to dense earth Kouha spurred his steed and soon Shian found herself again in between fearing for her life and enjoying the wild ride.

Kouha could feel Shian tighten her grip once they accelerated, like she did during their first ride. She didn't seem used to the speed at all, but he could tell that she wasn't totally new when it came to sitting on horseback, no matter what she told him.  
He only tormented her with the quick tempo for a few minutes before he tucked at the reins, causing them to slow down significantly. There was no way to gallop like this all the way to the village without straining his horse to death.  
As soon as the world stopped being a blur around them Kouha felt the woman behind him relax and as her hair brushed against his neck he knew that she was looking around. Admittedly, the view was rather nice.  
To their right, a river accompanied them, the clear water sparkling in the summer sun almost blindingly. The river snuggled around the city too, entering the ocean miles behind the city in the other direction. Here it was wide but calm, good news for everyone trying to fish in it.  
To their left, the forest stood tall, the light that shone through the leaves reached the ground tinted a friendly green. Birds could be heard and Kouha couldn't help but search for the familiar "woo hoo hoo" that his brother seemed to like so much. But if there were any there, it had been drowned out by all the other birds that competed for attention.

After an hour or so they stopped. The river made a nice little detour, making for a good spot to rest. The bank was shallow too, so as soon as Kouha had helped Shian to the ground, the horse made a beeline for the fresh water and guzzled down what seemed like half the river. Having solid earth under her feet again, Shian seemed much more comfortable and she giggled at the sight of the thirsty animal. With a quick glance to Kouha she followed its example and kneeled down by the shore.

After she turned around again she had to pay attention not to burst into laughter again. The look she got from the prince could only be described as sheer horror.  
"That's river water!"

He said it the same way someone would say "Those are bloody entrails".  
With all the earnest Shian could muster she nodded. "Indeed. Water from a river tends to be river water."  
"Don't mock me. Who knows what creatures could swim around in there!" A shudder went over his body and he grimaced at the thought. A tiny smile spread over her lips as Shian answered: "Fish, mostly."  
Then her expression turned curious. "Why do you think it is so bad? Your horse is drinking it too."  
"Yes, but it's an animal!"  
"Well, where do you think your drinking water comes from?"  
Kouha sighed, and before he answered he produced a blanket out of the saddle bag. "It's boiled and filtered, isn't it?"  
Shian had to admit that this was indeed a difference. She still didn't mind.

"Now stop musing about water quality and help me."  
The order brought her back to reality and hastily Shian grabbed the other two corners of the blanket. Together they put it neatly on the grass and Kouha didn't lose any time, plopping himself down right in the middle. He pulled his crown (hat? Shian had no idea) over his eyes and laid back, his body clearly relaxing under the warm rays of the sun.

Shian looked at him for a few seconds before speaking up again. "My Lord? Would you mind if I took a quick bath?"  
The ride really hadn't helped with the condition of her legs, which still sported a blotchy red and blue look.  
Kouha glanced up at her with one eye, his expression quite smug.  
"You don't have to ask my permission to get naked."

Her exasperated gasp was drowned out by the prince's laughter. He seemed rather content with his own joke, so Shian let him be. She just mumbled something about "inappropriate suggestions" and marched right into the river. The shorts she got from Kouha were so skimpy, there was no reason to hike them up any further.  
A few meters into the river bed, the water only went up over her knees, and she heavily enjoyed the cold sensation on her heated-up skin. She was sure to get sunburned at this rate and she guessed that Kouha wouldn't be any better. Hopefully he wouldn't blame her – the prince was always so particular with his complexion.  
Carefully scrubbing along her shins, Shian cleaned the inkstains, the blood and the dust off her legs and after splashing some on her face too, she felt way better than before. Although still sweaty; after returning to the palace she felt like taking a dip into the tub in the communal bath she now shared with Liang. It was fed by a small natural stream, a sidearm of the very river she stood in. It came from underground, so it was always incredibly cold, but at least also very clean.

After splashing around a bit she returned to her companion, who appeared to be sleeping. A few meters away the horse was peacefully grazing. Everything was so calm and nice; it was hard for her to imagine coming back to her village. Everything would be calm and nice there too, she suspected. If anyone even remembered the family up on the hill? Surely, it hadn't been that long. If they cared that they were gone was another question.  
With a quiet sigh she sat down next to Kouha and wrapped her arms around her knees. It didn't take long for her skin to dry in the sun and she looked up at the sky; the light blue only disturbed by a few fluffy clouds.  
Without even noticing, her mind wandered back a couple of kilometers. Back, to where the same sun would shine through the open windows of the palace and onto the back of an ever-working prince. Shian could see it clearly in her imagination, his hunched figure over the dark wood of the desk, the countless papers flowing over its edges. He wouldn't have opened the window himself, one of the servants must have. Maybe Mai? There would be a candle on the desk too, the incoming sunlight blocked by Koumei himself.  
They were only gone for a couple of hours, and still Shian missed him already. Another sigh escaped her lips, she was so hopelessly in love she was ashamed of herself.

"Thinking of a certain someone?"  
Kouha's voice tore through the singing birds and the quiet gurgle of the river. Shian's head whipped around to look at him; he had propped himself up on his elbows, his headwear back where it belonged.  
Silently cursing herself for the blood that crept into her cheeks Shian tried to play innocent. "Not at all. Just work."  
"Suuuuure"

The way Kouha stretched the word made clear that he didn't believe her at all and Shian couldn't blame him – she probably hadn't sounded too convincing.  
When she didn't answer Kouha sat up entirely, his hands crossed over his lap.  
"You know, there is no shame in a prince having a concubine. None at all."  
His words made Shian flinch. A wife needed the respect of her husband and his trust.  
A concubine just existed as a pastime, to amuse and entertain her master. The last thing Shian wanted was to be the plaything for another man. Not that she would accuse Koumei of only viewing her as such; but the thought of landing in such a position again made her shudder.  
She shook her head before facing Kouha again.  
"I am happy the way it is now. I won't ask for more."

Kouha could only sigh at the finality of her words. He was not used to not getting what he wanted and the fact that Shian apparently was not interested in reaching for the stars confused him. It was apparent that the two palace scribblers liked each other but none of them wanted to take the next step. Why? Was it fear that made them hesitate?  
Koumei most likely just suffered from poor self-esteem, the possibility that someone could love him this way probably went over his head.  
But he would not give up just now. Scooting closer to Shian, Kouha's knees now almost touched her thighs and when he leaned closer he could tell that his actions made her a bit wary.  
"You should talk to him. I know that he allowed you to drop the formalities around him, so what's the big deal?"  
"What's the deal!?" Before Shian could stop herself she answered, her voice higher than usual – almost a squeak.  
"If I tell him that I love him I could lose everything! My job, my home, his friendship-!" As soon as she noticed what she had just blurted out Shian slapped her hands in front of her mouth. Behind her fingers Kouha could see the redness roll onto her face like a glass of wine being emptied onto a white tablecloth.  
"Please don't tell him I said that."  
She sounded both defeated and desperate and Kouha couldn't help but feel sorry for her.  
"I already knew, I won't tell." He grinned from ear to ear. " _You_ will!"  
"What!?"

He hadn't meant to make her feel bad, but it was rather interesting to watch as the blood drained from her cheeks even faster than it had appeared.  
"Calm down, I'm just saying. I talked with him too, right? And while he does deny having feelings for you with a passion, I can tell you he's lying." He leaned even closer, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "And is there something better than a secret, forbidden palace romance?"  
Despite the two of them having completely different outward appearances Shian had to think of Mai. Yeah, she would agree with the young prince on this one.  
"I think those romances are only nice when you're not part of them yourself. Also they usually don't end well, especially not for the lower ranking person."  
The last part she mumbled to herself, but Kouha was so close he understood her nonetheless. He huffed to himself. The problem was that she was right.  
Neither of Koumei's siblings would have any second thoughts about him having a nice relationship but their father, the Emperor, probably wouldn't approve of it. He sighed.

"To bad you're not a noble. It wouldn't be the most welcomed sight, a prince with a common noble, but at least not impossible."  
He had looked to the ground in thought and as he raised his gaze again he paused. Shian had lowered her hands again but now she looked downright…guilty? An expression had settled on her face as if she knew something he didn't.

"Shian? Is there sooomething you want to tell me?" "No!"  
The answer came way too fast and hefty to be true but it seemed to trouble her greatly, so Kouha decided to let it slide. For now.  
"Well then. Good talk, but we should continue now. I really don't want to return home after dark."

He stood up and brushed a few lost grass blades off his clothes before returning to his horse; leaving Shian with the blanket.  
She fumbled around a bit before she managed to fold it properly and when she finally stuffed it back into the saddle bag, Kouha already sat on the horse's back, looking down at her.  
"You could at least try to get up here on your own. It's not that difficult."  
He had clearly forgotten about her predicament and now was too lazy to get down again to help her, but obviously Shian wouldn't say anything. She just examined the horse and sighed to herself.  
"And how do I do that? You occupy the stirrup." As far as she knew, when mounting a horse like a normal person one would hook their foot into the stirrup and propel themselves up. Not that Kouha would need those profanities.  
With an annoyed groan Kouha unhooked his foot from the footrest and scooted closer to the edge of the saddle to make room for her.

Hesitantly Shian rested her hands on the back of the horse. It seemed to notice that someone highly insecure was about to try and get onto it and it let out an impatient snort; which really didn't raise her spirits.  
Trying to steady herself she swung one leg up into the stirrup. As exposed as she felt in Kouha's trousers, she had to admit – they really did allow a lot of movement.  
With all the strength she could muster Shian pressed down onto the horse's back and pushed herself up in the air. For a second she felt as if she would just fly down backwards onto the ground, but her momentum carried her over.  
With a dull thud she found herself sitting behind the saddle, legs dangling left and right as she didn't have to accommodate for a skirt anymore. A factor she hadn't even noticed after departing from the city.

When she looked up she met the prince's eyes which expressed a mixture of smug pride and surprise; both feelings Shian could understand all too well.  
She smiled sheepishly. "I guess that works."  
An amused huff was his answer and Kouha pressed his heels into the horse's flanks, causing it to start with a little jump. Hurriedly Shian wrapped her arms around Kouha's waist again but now that she sat properly she felt much more secure.  
Kouha steered his horse into a stable trot and they made way fast. Soon they ventured off the nice path near the river and rode onto a "proper" lane, solidified by years of constant travel.  
With a little shock, Shian realized that she recognized the area. She had only walked it once on foot, when she made her way into the capital after the attack, but the boulders lining the way and the distinctive dark trees had been engraved in her memory.

When the trees parted and revealed the sight of the village in the near distance Kouha flinched in surprise. Shian, who until now had leaned against his back rather relaxed, had suddenly tensed up and her formerly loose grip tightened almost painfully around his waist.  
He turned his head to look at her and paused.  
Her gaze was fixed on the nearby houses and her skin had turned pale.

When she noticed him staring at her she twitched a bit and shook her head as if to call herself to order. "It's nothing", she mumbled.

Kouha obviously didn't believe her but he was not eager to discuss it now, on the outskirts of their destination. So he simply shrugged and continued, steering his horse between the first little huts.  
They had arrived.


	21. Chapter 21

It wasn't hard to find the inn at all. The road they travelled on led directly into the heart of the village and there, nestled in between a blacksmith and a giant oak tree, was the roadhouse.  
It was certainly smaller than the flower vase pub but that was to be expected. The latter was a business right in the focal point of the capital and this one was…less well visited, despite the merchants who passed through.

It ducked right under the mighty branches of the tree, which had been decorated with vibrant red lanterns. The day was still bright but the sun was on its way towards the horizon; and the low beams made the thin paper lamps glow even without them being lit. It would have been a really nice sight, hadn't Shian been so occupied with her own thoughts.

The marketplace they crossed to reach the inn was small but clean, a few benches lining the edge. People sat on them, an elderly couple with flower baskets, and a family. The two kids were chasing each other around the tufts of grass that sprouted up between the stones and only stopped for a moment when they heard the clicking of hooves on the cobble.

Kouha took in the scenery with careful interest, the same interest he had shown back in the capital. When he finally steadied his horse in front of the inn's door he seemed content with what he saw.  
With an elegant hip swing he slid onto the ground and after a moment Shian followed him. Her landing wasn't quite as elegant but, as he noticed with a smug little grin, she didn't seem so intimidated by his mount anymore.

"So. Same procedure as last time?", he asked, while tugging at the reins to keep his horse from wandering off somewhere.  
Shian adjusted her clothes before she shook her head. An embarrassed smile darted over her face before she answered.  
"We are in a small village, without any sort of announcement whatsoever. Usually one would welcome you with Rukh knows what kind of celebrations but here we are now, dressed like any old traveller. I would prefer not having to waltz in there to announce the arrival of an imperial prince."  
She was right of course; but Kouha couldn't care less. He waltzed in wherever he pleased and people would have to adjust to that.  
"Fine, we'll switch roles then."  
He shoved the reins into her hands, straightened his hair, and pushed open the door.

With a satisfying thud the door closed behind him and Shian was alone with the horse. The family had watched them curiously but she doubted that they had recognized the prince. She waved and gave them a polite smile before returning her attention back to the inn. It was two stories high despite being relatively flat and behind one of the windows under the roof Shian could see the dim shine of candlelight.  
Her gaze wandered farther up into the sky. They had entered twilight and the sun got darker by the second. It was still visible over the mountain in the distance but the sky was already tinged dark blue and the morning star had made a first appearance.  
On her own Shian had no way of pushing back all the thoughts that came to her head.

They hadn't been at the inn often, they had servants after all, but as the pub was the only of its kind in the village the people had gathered here not only to drink but to socialize as well.  
Shian's family had been a welcomed guest as they were not only rich but also generally generous.  
Those times were fuzzy in her head though as they had stopped coming here after her mother's illness forced her into bed all day.

Without noticing her eyes had wandered even farther now, away over the zenith and onto the dark blue mountaintop to her left. The stone was covered in tall trees, all sprouting and blooming as summer took over. In between the houses and vegetation was an empty spot, as if something had been standing there some years ago. Seven years ago…

Before her mind drifted further into her past the sound of the door flying open with force brought her back. Her eyes snapped back to the inn, where a small person was standing in the bright rectangle of the doorway. The light came from inside, so she could barely see any details, but the figure seemed to be breathing heavily. Before she even processed fully what was happening the person bowed deeply before her, letting Shian take a look behind them.

The whole tavern was in turmoil and suddenly she regretted letting Kouha go in first. The owner of the establishment – at least that's who she assumed it was – ran around like a startled chicken and tried to tidy up the place, while his few customers darted around looking panicked.  
And in the middle of the chaos stood Kouha, the third imperial prince of the Kou Empire, and looked absolutely delighted. For a second their eyes met and a grin spread over his face. He rolled his eyes slightly as if to say: "Look at them running around. Amusing, isn't it?"  
Shian had the slight suspicion that he had held back in the capital as to not cause a commotion, but here, in this tiny village, he savored the effect his presence could have.

When the shape in front of her rose again the moment was over. They stepped over the threshold and finally Shian could see better. The woman before her was short, skinny, and old. The grey dress and dirty white apron hung around her body like cloth on a rotary clothes line, mirroring the way her thin pale hair framed her face. She had wrinkles like rivers on her face and more freckles than stars in the night sky. While not looking like what people would imagine as a typical granny, her face had a certain kindness to it and Shian was sure that the old woman was nice to be around.  
Right now there was only anxiety in her expression though as she approached Shian and bowed again, only seconds after she had done so on the doorstep. A quiet crack could be heard, followed by a groan – it surely couldn't be a comfortable position for someone of her age.  
Before Shian could say anything – not that she would have known what – the woman rose yet another time and finally addressed her.  
"My Lady, what a pleasure to have you. If you would allow me to take your horse, I will gladly take care of it."

The way she spoke left Shian completely dumbfounded. She hadn't been in her current position for long and after so many years of being talked down upon it took her by surprise.  
Memories flooded her mind, servants bowing before her and people on the street bending their heads. Suddenly she was thankful for the fact that she barely remembered anything about the inn, her mind would have been an even bigger mess.

The woman still looked at her expectantly and Shian wondered what on earth Kouha had told them about her identity. She nodded slightly but the suspicion must have been clear on her face. Being not only old but also scrawny, the woman would have a hard time getting the giant warhorse to obey.  
With a short hesitant pause she handed the reigns over and watched as the horse followed the woman with its head lowered, so she could lead it comfortably. Truly a sight to behold.

They vanished over the porch of the blacksmith and Shian turned her attention back to the inside of the tap room. By now the commotion had calmed down a bit.  
The townspeople had settled into a corner with a few bottles of alcohol and chattered intently but quietly.  
Out of nowhere the owner had produced a few pillows and was currently trying to pad one of the benches with them. Clearly the royal bottom couldn't just sit on bare wood.

Finally gathering her courage Shian entered the room and crossed over to join Kouha, who still stood in the middle proudly waiting for his seat to be ready.  
She couldn't help but notice the way the villagers bowed their heads when she passed by and it made her highly uncomfortable.  
When she reached her companion she lowered her voice and asked the question burning on her tongue.  
"My Lord? What did you tell them about me?" With an overly innocent expression Kouha turned to answer her. "I just said that I had business in this town and that my partner was waiting outside with our horse."

A quiet groan was his response. Shian had buried her face in her hands. No wonder they were so overly polite, they thought she was his spouse! Not to mention the fact that she was still wearing his pants. At her apparent embarrassment Kouha chuckled quietly.  
"Let them be, don't you think it's nice to be courted like that?"  
"Not at all. It rather seems…kind of devious."  
"Let's call it mischievous."

And with that he walked over to the sturdy man preparing the table. He had succeeded in placing a heap of pillows on the bench and without second thought Kouha flung himself upon them, sinking into the soft mountain. He gave Shian a small wink and implied for her to come over. She complied and encircled their host before joining Kouha on his bench. Other than him she preferred sitting on the wood itself though and she found herself pressed against the edge near the wall to avoid all the cushions.  
The man bowed respectfully, first in front of Kouha and then in front of her and took off towards the kitchen.

"Did you already ask about the merchant?", Shian asked, her head towards her superior. Shaking his head he declined, and she suspected that he had been too caught up in the luxury of being pampered.  
"Honestly? I doubt we will return tonight. I don't feel like riding around in the darkness. So we will stay here, get the stuff tomorrow and then return. No harm done, right?"

Shian had already suspected that it would end up like this. He had already told her he wouldn't want to return after nightfall, and although there was still a shimmer of daylight outside it wouldn't be there for long. She really wanted to return home, but was admittedly not too keen herself to travel at night. Not only could the way itself be treacherous, there were also bandits and thugs to worry about.

Hesitantly she nodded. "We should still see that we find him tonight. What if he's not even here anymore?"  
Instead of answering Kouha growled quietly and Shian could imagine what he was thinking. He would not be chasing the guy through the Kou Empire.

During the short period of silence the host of the inn had returned, accompanied by a boy and a girl, maybe around Kouha's age. They looked similar not only to each other but to the older man too, it suggested the assumption that they were his children. Both of them were carrying tablets filled with steaming bowls.  
Shian had no idea how they threw together such an amount this fast but it did smell nice. Their last meal hadn't been that long ago, but the ride had been exhausting; there would be no complaining neither from the prince nor the former maid.

While the boy was very careful to avoid eye contact, his sister seemed to be pouting a bit. Her light blonde hair hung in her face and her dark eyes under it sported a feisty expression. Neither Kouha nor Shian showed any sign of realization of her unfitting expression but her father was apparently very afraid she would let something slip up. He shielded her a bit with his body and then bowed deeply, hastily gesturing for the two to do the same.

Only Shian's experience as a servant saved their meal.  
While the sulking girl dropped a reluctant curtsey – no harm done – the boy bowed along with the whole tray. Naturally it tipped, and the bowls started sliding towards their doom. Time slowed down, the older man's expression slowly turning into horror and the boy just dropping the tray altogether in shock.  
Her arms shooting forwards, Shian acted without thinking. One hand caught the tray in midair and with the other she steadied the dishes on it, only producing a soft "cling" sound in the process.  
Time returned to normal with their host letting out a funny little scream and his son clasping his hands over his mouth. They both looked equally mortified and even Miss Sulk-a-lot next to them seemed shocked.

Kouha on the other hand apparently enjoyed himself. Sure, he was the one with the least to lose. Finally he leaned forwards and took the tray out of Shian's hands – she herself had been too surprised about her own action to move.  
"I will take this. I doubt your floors are clean enough to eat off of."  
Shian knew he was just teasing but for the poor boy it was just threateningly enough. He immediately fell to his knees; he even started to shake a little bit. Shooting Kouha a warning look, Shian bend down to lay a hand on his shoulder.  
"Accidents happen, and this time it could be avoided. Don't stress yourself."  
Her voice was calm and not only did the boy relax, the rest of the present family members exhaled in relief too.  
Fed up with calling them "man, boy and girl" in her mind, Shian addressed them as a whole.  
"Would you mind telling me your names?"

The girl set the tray down in front of her extra carefully, before mumbling "Asha". Then she looked at Kouha for a second, anger flaring up in her eyes again.  
And then she was gone.  
"My name is Hasor. My apologies, I am not sure what has gotten into her."

On behalf of his daughter he bowed again, not noticing that Kouha couldn't care less for her behavior. He had already started to devour the contents of the saved bowls and had left Shian to fend for herself.  
By now the boy had stumbled to his feet again, still red under his light hair. After a small nudge from his father's elbow he finally introduced himself as well.  
"I am Sora. Please forgive my clumsiness."  
He spoke quietly, hands folded in front of his body. A sudden surge of empathy washed through Shian. She had just remembered a girl she knew in the same position. A girl fresh off the streets, afraid of her own shadow, standing in front of the first prince of the Kou Empire, to ask for work as a palace maid.

"Just be more careful in the future."  
She gave him a warm smile before turning her attention back to Hasor, who had laid a hand protectively on Sora's back.  
"We are actually here because we are searching for someone. A merchant who apparently is staying here, ill."  
A sign of recognition washed over Hasor's face and Shian couldn't help but feel relieved. Maybe their search did indeed end here.  
While she waited for an answer she picked up a piece of broccoli with her chopsticks. It wasn't the nicest thing to do, eat while in a conversation, but she was very hungry now with the tasty smell in front of her nose. And Kouha had almost finished already.

"He is indeed here. Got a room upstairs, the poor fella. When he arrived here a few days ago he seemed fine, but in the morning he couldn't get up again. Covered in red splotches and very weak."  
An almost embarrassed expression darted over his face.  
"Apparently highly contagious, he told us to stay away. Just asked for a few of his wares to be brought to him, and some soup. We slid it into his room, through the barely open door. I unfortunately don't know how he is holding up by now."

Shian exchanged glances with Kouha who paid attention again, now that his dishes were all empty. The way he looked at her made it clear what he thought: 'You go in there. I'll wait here.'  
She sighed and just nodded before turning back to Hasor.  
"We will talk to him tomorrow. Do you have another room for us?"  
"Of course! I will have it prepared right away! Do you have any special wishes?"  
Before Kouha could go off on another tirade about Rukh knows how many pillows Shian smiled brightly, just inconspicuously enough that Kouha wouldn't think that she purposely cut him off.  
"No thank you, we will be fine."  
Hasor bowed one last time and then he left, leading his son away with him.  
And only when their figures disappeared through the kitchen door Shian realized that she had forgotten to ask for separate beds.

Kouha was sulking across from her, arms crossed in front of his chest. "You better not let that kind of behavior became a habit! Especially not in front of Kouen or even our father!"  
At the thought Shian turned a bit pale – she had come a long way from her shy self, but she was not suicidal!  
She shook her head. "Of course not. I am sorry, My Lord, if I crossed any boundaries with my behavior!"  
Slightly bowing, she lowered her gaze onto the table, before continuing her meal.

There it is again, Kouha thought. How easily she switched between confident and downright sassy and obliging and polite. She was truly testing the waters.  
"Yeah yeah, whatever."  
He let his hands fall to his sides again and observed her for a moment. He was still wondering why she had seemed so reluctant about returning to this place.

As if she had read his mind Shian swallowed her last bite and looked up at him. Even with her previous change to her reserved servant-self she displayed an unusual amount of shyness right now. A moment later he knew why.

"My Lord? I would like to go out again before we head to bed. I…I need to go take a look at something. Would that be alright?"  
"Now? It's dark out, Shian. I don't feel like stumbling around there because you need to do 'something'".  
Hastily she shook her head. "You don't need to come with me! I will go myself. Please, it will only be a couple of minutes. Half an hour, at most!"

She knew herself that this was a bit of an understatement, but the matter was important to her.  
Kouha seemed to understand, as he sighed and nodded, crossing his arms behind his head and leaning back.  
"You can do it for all I care. Just be careful, I don't need a second investigation on my hands just because my brother's assistant vanished in the night."  
His words sounded careless but still Shian thought she could make out a hint of worry in his voice. She suppressed a smile and bent her head. "Of course."  
"Then go right away. I will entertain myself here in the meantime." His expression turned mischievous and she felt a bit of pity with the employees.

Standing up she automatically fiddled with the seam of the pants, trying to tug at them to make them longer, but to no avail. She gave up and left their little corner, heading for the exit.

When she opened the door a gust of fresh evening air blew in her face. It brought the smell of heather and cold earth, promising a windy night. The sun had vanished completely now, and the barely rising moon spent little to no light. Maybe she should have asked for a lantern, but she didn't want to head back again, out of fear that she would change her mind.  
She was also quite sure that her feet would find the way on their own.

Around twenty minutes later Shian had fought her way through various unfamiliar streets and small alleyways, until she reached the cobbled path that led up into the mountain region. The houses were sparse here, only on occasion did a little hut line the way.  
It didn't take long after that to reach the fringe of her old home.

For a moment Shian just stood there, in the darkness, cold hard tiles under her feet. She let the feeling wash over her that arose from just seeing the silhouette of the old stone fence directly in front of her.

She felt fear grasping for her heart, making her chest tight and her breathing heavy. The last time she had experienced a full blown anxiety attack had been with Koumei weeks ago and she sure didn't miss them. Sensing the familiar panic flood her mind she intuitively stumbled back, one hand hooked into the fabric of her top, trying to steady herself.  
Easy Shian, she told herself, and took a few deep breaths. Take your time. You can do this.

Approaching with short steps, Shian finally passed the space between the stony fence posts and entered what had been the front yard.  
For a few seconds she closed her eyes and exhaled consciously, concentrating on the sound of her breath and the low rustle of the nearby weeds.  
When she opened her eyes again she flinched a bit at the sudden beam of light that lit up her surroundings.  
During her walk up the moon had risen farther up the sky but had been continuously covered by thick clouds. Apparently while she had been standing there contemplating, the overcasting blanket moved and revealed the moon in all its silvery glory.

For the first time in seven years, Shian saw the remnants of their estate.


	22. Chapter 22

While at the foot of the mountain, Shian had caught glimpses of blackened beams and snapped trees.  
Now, with the moon casting its light over the whole area she saw just how grand the destruction had been. Sure, she had wandered around right after the attack but her mind had been hazy and she did try hard not to look too closely at her former life blood.

Before her the burned down manor stretched itself over meters. The solid corner beams still stood tall but their ends were charred and splintered. Lined up between them thinner bars laid on top each other, broken stubs reaching for the skies, looking like the skeletal remains of a spiderlike creature.  
There was not much left from the papery walls, the fire had swallowed them in seconds.

Hesitantly, Shian walked forward a bit more. A harsh crunching sound beneath her made her pause once more. Lifting her foot revealed something reflecting the pale moonlight – a piece from a once beautiful vase. She should be more careful, who knew what else waited under the rubbish.

Without even realizing it a small smile had crept onto her lips. Stepping into another shard of glass or porcelain really wouldn't be helpful right now, but it sounded just like her.  
With more care she continued her way, stepping over what had been the doorframe. With her feet she pushed away burned wood and bent pieces of metal. Although it was not necessary anymore she still followed the tiles of the hallway trying to pick something out in the dim light.  
To her right had been the living room, she could make out the charred remains of the chaise lounge. Even though it should be impossible in the dark and with all the ash she could swear that she could still see the crimson red of the fabric that a weaver had decorated with golden twine elaborately.  
Behind the living room had been the kitchenette and Shian waded through the ash over to it.

Right above the threshold her foot connected with something.  
A hollow sound rang through the silence and whatever it had been rolled a few centimeters away.  
A tea pot?, she thought and kneeled down to take a closer look.

She reached out and touched the surface of the unknown object. She expected it to be rather cold and slippery but instead there was a warmer sensation under her fingertips. The item was indeed smooth, but she could feel small cracks and bumps.  
For a moment time stood completely still as the realization settled into Shian's mind.

With a shocked gasp she pulled her hand back with such force that she stumbled backwards and landed on her bottom.  
Her palms connected with random splinters and broken pieces of glass on the ground, digging into her skin, but she didn't notice.  
There, in front of her, sitting in a dim ray of moonlight, was a human skull.

The lower jaw was missing and most of the teeth in the upper jaw too but that made the crooked, half-formed grin even worse as it stared at her with empty eyes.  
Shian stared back, tears already forming in the corners of her eyes and in her chest a scream carved its way to the surface.  
She slapped her bleeding hands in front of her face, barely noticing the smell of iron, and cried out into the unforgiving night.  
She had no way of knowing who it had been, but it must have been someone she knew. A servant? One of the cooks? Or…a family member.

She had always assumed the bodies had been buried in the cemetery. The servants had family and her own had been well respected. Maybe no one had wanted to enter the cursed property after the fire or maybe the townspeople had been more heartless than Shian assumed.  
Whatever the reason, the skull didn't care. It continued to sit in front of her feet, its expression mocking and timeless.

After her scream had long faded away and left an even more deafening silence she finally managed to look up again. Bottom lip trembling and muscles tense Shian gazed at the broken piece of bone. Were there more? More dead people, their bodies rotten and their faces forgotten.

With shaking legs Shian rose again, very careful not to touch the gruesome object again. Her eyes wandered over the rest of the mansion, not sure what to even do now. She felt weak and exhausted all of the sudden and wished herself back, to her desk with the prince nearby.  
For a moment she couldn't quite identify the mixture of loneliness and longing until it clicked.  
She felt homesick.

Did it do me any good?, she contemplated later, on her way back.  
The panic and shock had followed her around, even after she went away from the skull and deeper into the estate. Whatever it was she had been searching for, she hadn't found it.  
So she had left the place shortly after, not wanting to stumble over more old friends.  
Underneath the terror she felt there was something else too. She couldn't quite grasp it but maybe it was…relief?  
Seven years ago, when she had been here looking for something to save, her biggest fear had been to find the burned corpses of loved ones. And now she had done just that. What she had feared had happened and it was over, left behind like her past.  
So maybe it had not been a waste after all.

As Shian passed the cowering houses and approached the town square again, she woke from the numb state she had been in after yelling out her shock. A second later the pain settled in too and she paused for a moment, not even knowing that she had been hurt. She looked at her aching hands but she couldn't see a thing. The clouds had moved in front of the moon again. It would be better to check back at the tavern.

Said tavern was only a couple of meters away from her now and before she opened the door, she looked back to the mountains one final time. It was way too dark to make out anything, but she knew the direction well enough. The black sky contrasted against the even blacker shape of the mountain and even though it was impossible, for a moment she saw red and orange flicker up the side.  
She shook her head to get the image out of her mind. The day had taken a toll on her and she really yearned for a bed now.

The door to the inn swung open with a quiet squeak and she entered, free hand in front of her mouth to stifle a yawn. The costumers had left the place and even Kouha was nowhere to be seen.  
Apart from an old man in a corner who shoveled broth into his mouth there was only Hasor to be seen. He swept the floor in front of the counter and when Shian closed the door behind her again he looked up.  
His greeting got stuck in his throat as they locked eyes and she watched with confusion as his expression turned from calm to shocked. The broom fell from his hands and before the clatter of the wood on the floor had faded away he was on his way over to her.

Shian took a cautious step back, the man coming at her like that for apparently no reason made her insecure. But he didn't seem hostile, simply very concerned, and before she could think further he was in front of her.  
His hands felt rough but warm as he cupped her face and turned her head a bit to either side.  
"What happened to you!?"  
The exasperation is his voice was overwhelming and for a few seconds she could only stare at him, completely dumb-founded, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

That was the moment that Hasor realized he was holding onto the face of what he believed to be a royal consort. He let go of her as if her skin were burning and bowed his head, a tinge of red on his cheeks under his beard.  
"Please forgive my rude behavior, I was just so concerned. Please, tell me what happened?"

Finally Shian breathed out, calming down from his unexpected behavior.  
"Nothing happened? What are you so worried about?"  
"You're bleeding!"

Confused, Shian lifted a hand to feel her skin, but before she could reach her face she stopped.  
Her hands were covered in blood, most already dried, but a few streaks of bright red could also be seen.  
The pain, of course. She had already half forgotten about it – the fact that she had simply missed that much blood shocked her more than the injury itself.

Realizing that she had just been staring at her hands for a while, she called herself to order and touched her cheeks. Sure enough, dry flakes of dark blood peeled away and fell to the ground in silence. No wonder he had looked at her like that.

"I…I stumbled and fell. I must have hurt myself then. I didn't notice, I'm sorry"  
He shook his head in disbelief, how could someone not notice cuts that bled like this?

"Would you allow my mother to take care of your wounds then? She has a knack for first aid."  
Shian nodded, she could hardly join the prince looking like she had been caught up in a heist.

With another short bow, Hasor turned around and went back into the tavern. Picking the broom up from the floor he vanished into a door behind the counter, and she could hear him call for his mother.  
While waiting Shian made her way over to the corner she and Kouha had occupied. The pillows were still there and a surprising amount of empty glasses littered the table. She sat down at the edge of the bench, examining her hands more closely in the light of the oil lamps.  
Under the red liquid she could see where the shards had dug into her flesh, tiny pieces of terracotta and pebbles still stuck in the openings.  
That would not be pleasant at all.

With a little jolt she remembered another problem – her job was ninety percent writing, how was she supposed to hold a quill with her cut up fingers? A sigh escaped her lips. It was her own fault after all, she could not expect any accommodations.  
Before she could talk herself down even more Hasor reappeared, his mother in tow.  
She was as expected the woman who had met her on the doorstep when she arrived, ready to care for the horse.  
Now she carried a little purse over her shoulder and a shallow bowl of water in her hands. She sat it down on the table, pushing glasses away in the process, and took a look at Shian's hands.  
With a hint of amusement Shian read the emotions on her face, the desire to scold her for the careless child she was mixing with the fear of being rude to royalty.

"Those are some nasty cuts, that will hurt, dear."  
A bit of relief washed over Shian at the casual way the older woman addressed her now. The way she had talked to her before had made her uncomfortable.  
"I figured", she mumbled, her hands laying on her knees palms up. She was scared of driving the debris in even further.  
"By the way, where is Lord Kouha?"

An almost guilty expression passed over the faces of both mother and son. Hasor answered with a sheepish tone in his voice:  
"His Highness went to bed a few minutes before you came back."  
Shian nodded, a bit confused about the way the two behaved, but the moment was over quickly as she felt a sharp pain sting in her right hand.  
Hasor's mother had started her work. Out of her purse she had produced a pair of thin and long tweezers which she had used to pull out the first piece of scrap.  
Shian was not squeamish by all means, but the sight of the metal tips slipping into her flesh made her sick in an instant. The world started spinning in front of her eyes and she hastily closed them, head turned away as far as possible from her arm.

"I know dear, but please bear with it. Before I can clean the wound I have to remove all that doesn't belong." The sympathy in her voice was evident, and Shian was even more glad now that she had dropped the reserved attitude. A bit of friendly backup was more than welcome.  
"Hasor, make yourself useful and talk to her, and get her face clean. That can't be pleasant."

Through her closed eyes Shian could only guess what Hasor was doing, but she heard the quick shuffle of feet and a few moments later she heard him kneel besides her.  
"May I?"  
She didn't trust her voice as the next wave of pain shot through her hand, so she just nodded, eyes still firmly pressed together.  
A warm, wet cloth touched her cheek and Hasor began rubbing the dry blood away carefully. If it hadn't hurt so much, Shian would have laughed a bit – his movements were clumsy, he was not used to be so careful. The way he worked he must have been afraid that she could shatter in an instant. His attempts to distract her were also a bit awkward but she appreciated it nonetheless.  
"You know why my daughter was so weird before, at dinnertime?"  
It was a rhetorical question for sure but she shook her head anyway, bumping against the cloth in the process.  
"She is in the prime of her rebellious teenager phase, so my little girl likes to act as if she hates everyone and everything."  
She couldn't see it but she was sure he smiled widely as he said his next words, the amused father shining through.  
"But she has to pretend to hate His Highness especially, because she has had a big crush on him since she saw him in the capital a few months ago."

Despite the pain Shian chuckled a bit. She was certain that Asha would not appreciate her father telling a stranger so freely about her affection.  
"She likes to deny it, says that it is way in the past now. But you should've seen her face earlier, when you two showed up! She hasn't been this red since the time I accidently read a love letter to her from the boy next door."  
The comment amused her even more and Shian made the mistake of opening her eyes. Even though her head was turned she caught a glimpse of the older woman pulling out a two centimeter long piece of glass.  
Thank the Rukh that it was already completely out, because Shian pulled her hand back in a knee-jerk reaction, clutching it close to her chest and screeching:  
" _That_ was in there!?"

The vertigo was back, and the urge to gag too. How in hell had she not noticed that thing sticking in her hand the whole way down from the estate!?  
She took a deep breath and as she spoke up again her voice was weak and frail.  
"May I have a glass of water please?"  
"Of course!"  
Hasor jumped up so fast he hit his knee against the bench, but he didn't show any sign he even noticed. Cloth still in hand he made a beeline for the kitchen, leaving Shian alone with her caretaker.

"You have almost done it. The worst is behind you."  
The old woman gave her a warm smile.  
"My name is Cora by the way."  
She put the piece down on a napkin in her lap, where an alarming amount of other bits already laid, bloody and disgusting.  
"You are lucky, dear. Even the deepest cut won't need to be stitched. Just be careful and avoid straining your hands for a while."

Before Shian could answer – and complain – Hasor had returned. He had apparently taken the biggest container he owned and filled it to the brim.  
He offered it to her, slightly out of breath.

One look down at her hands confirmed to Shian that she could never hold the giant jug but Cora was faster than her.  
"Oh, use your loaf! How is she supposed to hold the thing?"  
Like a scolded school boy Hasor nodded and carefully lifted the vessel to her lips.  
After a few big gulps he put it down on the table and Shian caught her breath for a moment.

"All right. Let's do it."  
She closed her eyes again and bit her bottom lip, bracing herself for more pain.  
Thankfully it did take only a couple more jabs before Cora put down the tweezers.  
"Now I only have to clean it and bandage it, then you will be good to go."

Doubt crept on Shian's face. She didn't know much about medicine, but wasn't disinfectant supposed to burn?  
Yes, yes it was, she realized only a second later, as Cora poured what felt like boiling water over her hands. Probably expecting the reaction from her patient she grabbed Shian's wrists to keep her from moving too much, and rightfully so.  
She had jumped a good few centimeters and tried to pull away, but to no avail.  
Now the only thing left to do for Shian was quietly whimpering as Cora wiped away the blood and patched her up for good.

"There you go, dear. All fixed up, you did marvelously. Now, now", she said and gathered napkin and utensils, before getting up with her son's help.  
"Your room is upstairs, the first door on the right. Sleep well and get some rest." She winked. "And maybe let your husband pamper you a bit"

She limped away, hooked onto Hasor's arm for support, and left Shian behind, bright red from head to toe. She hadn't even gotten a chance to correct her.

After she gave herself a few minutes to calm down, Shian had taken the stairs to the right. She ended up in a dimly lit corridor, two doors on the left and two on the right. As instructed she headed for the first one on the right and quietly knocked. No answer, maybe Kouha was already asleep.  
As silently as possible she opened the door and scurried inside. A lone candle burned on the nightstand beside the single double bed. On it, the prince laid on his back sprawled out like a starfish, smack dab in the middle. His eyes were closed, but when Shian approached he opened them and grinned at her.  
She got the feeling something was wrong and as she sat down on the bed, she could smell why. The scent of alcohol was all too familiar to her and as he sat up her suspicion was confirmed by the way he moved.  
Kouha was drunk.

"Shiiiiaaaan!", he exclaimed, apparently very happy to see her. He threw his arms open and before she even realized what was going on he had hugged her tightly, cheek pressed against her skin dangerously close to her neckline.  
Oh no, she thought instantly, please don't be a flirty drunk.  
She had had her fair share of experience with drunk men and they ranged from slightly amusing to very uncomfortable. Hopefully this one would be the first case.  
"Shian", he repeated, and she braced herself for a weird compliment or an unsolicited offer. "Shian, I love my brothers."

A few seconds of silence passed between them, Kouha still snuggled tightly against her chest and Shian utterly dumbfounded.  
Then she started laughing.

A lot of tension had been built up inside her after she had left for the mountain and having the third prince of the Kou Empire mumble about his admiration for his family just released the knot of bad feelings inside her.  
Very carefully she laid her arms around the prince's narrow shoulders and chuckled in delight.  
"What, you don't believe me!?"  
He sounded so insulted Shian burst into giggles all over again.  
"Oh yes, I do. Wholeheartedly."

She patted his head and he calmed down again. Hopefully he wouldn't remember any of this the next morning, or else there would be a few things to explain. For the time being she simply enjoyed this bizarre but entertaining situation.  
"You should tell them, My Lord."  
"Ah, psh, they know that!"  
At the end his words became a bit slurred, as Kouha yawned unbothered. He closed his eyes again and his grip around her waist loosened. "They know that…I drew Mei a picture once-" He was interrupted by another yawn. "With him…and pigeons."

He shook his head a bit to regain consciousness, giving Shian a moment to hide her bright smile. Wasn't that a nice piece of information…  
"I think I have seen it. In his office."  
As an answer Kouha nodded, the top of his head bumping against her chin.  
"He kept it. All those years. I like being me, you know? A prince and all. But sometimes I wish I could take my family and just…go live on a farm somewhere. No worries other than who has to clean the stables…"

He almost drifted off again, sinking even deeper onto Shian's chest. She could almost feel his wistfulness and she was searching for a way to cheer him up, when apparently he had managed to do it himself already. Letting go of her he sat up, propped up on his hands and a lively sparkle in his eyes.  
"Did you know Mei can crochet? He took it up when he was younger as a stress reliever. He did blankets and table cloths." As he winked at her playfully, Shian blushed without even knowing why.  
"Maybe if you ask nicely he will crochet something for you."

Her mind wandered off instantly, back along the river and into the room of the second prince. She could see him sitting in front of her mind's eye, cross-legged on his bed, the piece of crochet work on his lap. This kind of hobby required a lot of patience and quite skilled fingers…

The embarrassment snapped her out of her daydream and she shook her head to get away from the tempting thoughts. Kouha watched her curiously but luckily he didn't ask.  
By now the fatigue had settled back into his eyes and he stretched a bit before the tension left his body.

Shian watched as he slumped down onto her lap and curled up next to her like a little child. Smiling softly she observed as he settled in. Oh, how much she hoped he wouldn't remember. If he did he would certainly forbid her from telling a soul, and she was already yearning for the expression on Koumei's face once he heard that particular story.

Careful, as to not wake him up again she slid around a bit, until she laid on the bed at least somewhat comfortably. She turned her head and after a bit of lung-work she had managed to blow out the candle. The night was warm, so she didn't need a blanket and with the sleeping prince still in her lap, Shian stared into the darkness.

After her encounter with the skull and after that unpleasant episode with her injuries she had been afraid of nightmares.  
But thanks to Kouha her thoughts were filled with kindness and the vague memory of family. Not before long Shian had drifted off into sleep too, a slight smile on her lips.

* * *

Hello dear reader!  
I'm glad you're still with me and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really like writing this story and the reviews I got so far have made me incredibly happy.  
The last chapters I have received little to no feedback though and it's hard staying motivated without knowing how people like what I do. If you like reading my stuff I'd really appreciate it if you could leave me a review with what you think!

Stay safe y'all and till the next chapter~


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